Grandfather passed away a few days ago

[Jess]

Hi

I am so sad and can't seem to stop crying. My grandfather died a few days ago and I was there when he went to heaven. Literally almost, because the nurse was so lazy that since i have some medical training, she told me to take his pulse every few minutes and tell her when he no longer had a pulse or was breathing. He died from emphyzema, which was terrible to watch how he struggled to breathe and how mucus gurgled in his throat because he couldn't swallow. They gave himm a lot of morphine though, so he lapsed into a coma and went peacefully. I am the most emotional one in the house. My mom is a lot stronger than me and my grandma has a little dementia, so she told us she thought he would rally. She didn't even know he was dying. I am sorry i wrote about the whole thing, but i had to get it out emotionally. DO NOT EVER SMOKE that is my advice because if you get sick like he did, it is terrible for the person for many years and everyone around that person when the end is near.

[Leeaelle]

Dearest Jess ~ Please accept my deepest condolences on the loss of your dear grandfather. I am so very sorry. :(

I too have lost someone very dear to me from emphysema, and like you said it is a very very horrible death. It's so terribly hard to watch your loved one pass away from that such a disease.

My heart goes out to you ~ the nurse was VERY cold-hearted to make you do such a thing! She should be reported to the hospital management!!! That should never have happened!!! You were grieving and to be put in that situation is unforgiveable.

Jess, please know that we never really "lose" our loved ones. They are always with us. And I don't know what your beliefs are, but I do believe that we will all be together one day. God bless, Jess and my prayers are with you. Hugs, Lee

[Lavandula Canadensis]

Hello Jess,
I can understand your emotional situation... my mother died of similar lung problems in '99 at 66... she had poss. always been smoking 2-3 pkg/day... I had not seen her in the last years because my sister kept me and my brother aside... meaning that both of us have not been able to complete the grief cycle normally... this is hard, but time helps... that did not help with our already existing health conditions (my brother had discal surgery that failed, and he needs more... he is disabled and can hardly walk with a cane, he is on morphine kind of medic. / I don't know too much about pharm. med... I only use natural methods)...

at 51, I'm still crying the death of my granduncle, once in a while, although I was 8 when he died... all my wonderful childhood memories are with him... I learned how to walk, hand by hand, with him, collecting medicinal herbs, strawberries, blueberries and hazelnuts, in the woods surrounding the north of Québec City... He was a Huron-Wendat arboriginal...

I will be praying for you and your family, and for the soul of your grandfather of course...

Although I'd say that my religion is 'Nature', I like Buddhist philosophy a lot... it is quite different than the other religions... it has a very special outlook on birth, life and death... it is helping me a lot to go through daily challenges, including family matters, health issues and grief... along with prayers and meditation...

Be good with yourself during these difficult moments... I hope that you can find some emotional support around you... as well as here on BT... and maybe through the help of a good book, or through creative expression... which have helped me a lot... do not hesitate to write or draw your feelings, just for yourself, or here on BT... I'm quite a new spring chick here, but I can tell you that I already read very helping postings from many many great people ...

Hope to have been of some help, with compassion and empathy, and that what I said made some sense, even with my French québecois accent... (((:o)))

[The Dude]

I am so sorry Jess :(

You are amoung friends here!!

God bless you............

[zoso a.k.a Neil]

)))))))))))))Warmest Greetings Jess(((((((((((((((((

My heart goes out to you. I lost my Grandad some years back and no loss was felt deeper or longer than that one.
He was 86 i was about 30 and when the dust had settled (no pun intended) i was filled not only with the loss but with how lucky i had been to have known the great man that he was for as long as i did.
What i do have is the wonderful memories and i have been the conduit through which his blood/DNA has flowed into my Son and Daughter.

You too Jess are strong not just your Mother and from this you will grow stronger.Remember no one can tell you how to grieve and your Grandad is always with you.
Also what would help is for you and yours to read a book called :
"The Prophet" By Cahill Gibran only a little book but most useful in these situations.A one time International best seller.
I hope you find some peace and i send you my love and empathy.
)))))Zoso(((((

[BrierRose]

I'm so sorry for your lost. I hope you'll feel better in time. Your message is really nice. Will start telling friends to stop smoking.