Mate and MPD

[Excatog]

I dont like to call it a disorder first off. Anyways...

Ive been with this girl for about 2 months now, probably known her for about 4 or so. Its been amazing. One of the first interesting and more personal things she told me was about her MPD brought on by, well im pretty sure I have an idea. She hasnt told me specifically. Anyways, there is three.

A fighter and defender that protects the other two. Jackie

A innocent little girl, sensitive and deep. Crystal

The fun loving sociable out most of the time one. Stephanie

(ive changed the names for anonyminity [SP?])

Anyways, ive just got a few thoughts and questions on this type of thing. According to all three of them, they all love me. I find it hard to treat her as three people. Rather when I speak to her I call her by her birth given name, then address to a level below that who she is. Its really hard for me to wrap my head around because all three of them are alike, but very different. I have trouble differentiating somewhat, im getting better and im sure I will be tell right off the bat sooner or later.

Anyways I tried to explain to her about how I view her as ONE person, and that her MPD was just something about her. I dont want to belittle her for how she is, I dont mean any disrespect by it, but I just cant like imagine her as three people. Is this a bad thing? I would just like to get a better idea on how MPD works and whatnot so I dont do something I shouldnt do, or say something I shouldnt do. I suppose really it would come down to a person to person basis though, wouldnt it?

Is there other things about MPD I should know about? Is it possible that there is personalities the other person doesnt even know about that may spring out? Any surprises laying in my path with her? I love her to death even for the short ammount of time we have been dating. MPD does not scare me, doesnt make me think she is wierd. Its just another unique facet to her amazing self.

I would just like some general information on how if I should act any differently. So far she hasnt had any problems with how I have been addressing her and ive tried explaining to her how I find it hard to think of her as three different people. Its like I confront her and address her by her given birth name, then if need be, I will acknowledge the precense of one of the MPD personalities. Its strange really. Its not that I am ignoring them out of disrespect or lack of belief, its just I dont. Hard to say why.

Thanks for all your info!

[OpTmissticazpek]

Act as you would for anyone else. Be Yourself. Don't address her by any other name than that which she was born with. Acknowledge that you realize that she may have "switched", but do not address her by another name. Doing so will only cause her to dissociate more readily than to attempt to accept her self as just that- her (entire) self.
It was not by conscious choice that she split originally and you can be a part of her growing into her self in entirety by that of example. By accepting her-the sum of her entirety- as her. If you are honest/sincere/loyal, in time she may find a way to accept her self entirely. My husband is my hero. I needed someone to accept me regardless of how inconsistent I may have been and am-rarely today. In a time where it is more common to be divorced than to persevere and work on a relationship I admire and respect my spouse for hanging in through the so many difficult times, adapting to whatever came his way-Me and My Selves. It takes a lot, a whole lot of courage and perseverence to hang in there with anyone with mental illness. You are fresh in the relationship, weigh your priorities and dreams and at the same time be aware of your own limitations. You will have to be more sensitive,compassionate and understanding to be with someone with the DID dx, but always be honest to them of your limitations.

[CastNCrew]

With respect, I'm going to disagree with OpTmis. Yes, be your normal self, treat her with the same care that you always have. But ask her - and her alters - whether they would like to be called by their own names. By calling them by name, you can let each know that they matter to you, just as she does. And you show that you are paying enough attention to recognize the switching. Then again, they may all prefer to answer to the birth name in. I suggest you respect either choice, just as you would respect any other choice/request made by her.