milivica
04-15-2008, 02:12 AM
Woah! Back safe and sound, and mostly sane.
I was in a time warp (haven't seen them for 10 years), and environmental warp (Wisconsin versus Arizona), I was a daughter and mother at the same time which was really weird, was shocked at how frail my ma now is, felt emotional or teary a lot there but really wasn't sad so not sure what was up with that.
When I first got in the car when they picked us up, omg, they were talking to each other but about different topics, and sometimes at the same time...almost like the "Who's on First" comedy thing, only neither speaker heard the other. So at first I was like "Ok, this is going to be a long week" and also, they seemed to forget a lot of what was said, right after we said it, like whole discussions. I was and am still sort of shocked, at how 'old' my ma has gotten, I mean she's the same person, but so much more vulnerable or something. So very thin too. And wow set in her ways - not at all mean or crusty or anything, she never cared if the kids touched things or played her piano or did kid things or even broke something, she's always been the type to care that no one got hurt rather than what got wrecked.
Grandpa was a bit more touchy or potentially anal or picky or irritable, and their house is not only very clean but full of breakables so I could have been a wreck, but, I just figured "hey, kids will be kids, I'm can't drive myself crazy worried, I just can't". The few times Vince did 'wrong' I let him deal with Vince, it inevitably turned into Vince talking about weather facts, and he sort of came to see Vince was not able to go by his rules every moment. I've never seen him do the 'adjusting' in 'his home' but he did for Vince, he really did, and things were just fine. They even went fishing one day...turned into Vince freaking cause he didn't catch any fish, but the two of them worked it out without me and that was amazing. Grandpa followed the tips I gave him before they left, let Vince vent, in two minutes Vince was apologizing, and they moved on...grandpa fished and Vince threw rocks in the water and onto really tall rock hills and they both were happy. I gotta give kudos to grandpa for not 'flexing' or doing guy authority stuff that would have made matters worse.
The very best parts of the trip, was when Carmen asked me how many days were left before we went home, and when I said "Three" she cried and said she didn't want to go back home, she wanted to live with her grandparents for a while (Awwwwwww! That is so wonderful, that meant all the bonding I hoped would happen did!). Also, the very best part of the trip was when Vince cried as we boarded the plane home and said, "Can we at least stay till May" cause that also meant he bonded with, and will have wonderful memories of, his grandparents.
The very worst part...was I didn't get to see Peg and was a big butt face and didn't even call her, I was already overwhelmed by everything, but I still feel like I was a really poo head for not calling. There was just no way I saw it possible we could all meet up.
The second worse part was the house was like friggin 80, not a drop of humidity, omg, it was like sleeping in....well in my parents' house in Arizona, hee hee.
Carmen mostly clung to 'grandma' and was the hard working dutiful granddaughter with perfect manners, etc... she doted on grandpa bringing him his cup of coffee topped with whip cream and many other things to 'spoil' him. It was very nice, she just seemed to do automatically, all things that made her the 'do no wrong' granddaughter in their eyes.
Vincent mostly used the big cool puter his grandpa had and was thrilled that he was allowed to print (in color!) all the weather stuff he wanted to. Also he spent lots of time running a hose in back of the house, making wee rivers and lakes...it's dry and sandy there and the water doesn't really sink in. Both grandparents loved to finally get to know him in person, the last time they saw him he didn't talk or respond to his name, etc... and now they finally feel they got to know him. They both seemed to 'get' what was autism, versus what was intentional...all he did 'wrong' was autism, they got that (grandpa took a few days but did get it) and that was a relief cause my son is wonderful, and that quality too often is not evident cause the autism is too often seen with nt intentions, know what I mean?
Vince sure kept us laughing...sadly grandpa fell once, and my ma later asked him if his 'doopa' was ok (that means butt) and Vince, also concerned about his fall says "yes grandpa, is your penis ok?" Baawaawawaa! Grandpa and all of us laughed so hard - though my ma seems like a priss or prude on the outside, she thankfully thought all Vincent's misunderstandings were a riot (which they are).
They whole time, Vince provided the 'rofl' factor, and Carmen the 'cute' factor.
We went to Sedona and Camp Verde...at Sedona we went on the calm Pink Jeep Adventure at the bottom of some canyon, the guide was nice but he quoted several erroneous facts about the plant life (the prickly pear cactus for one) but I did not correct him. But it was a good activity cause my ma and her dh can't walk well. Then, around Camp Verde we went to a cool zoo where you take an open 'safari' in a sort of windowless bus and see zebras and other wild critters roaming right up to the bus. This giraffe kept eating out of my mouth, omg, huge beautiful eyes, he was so so very gentle, he'd look at me with that huge sandy tongue reaching for the carrot or broccoli in my teeth like he was saying gently with his eyes "don't worry, I won't bite you in the face, I only want the vegetables". Man, ya had to be there.
Vince and I caught a very neat lizard which was the most stellar part of the trip for me activity wise (gawd that was so fun - and I really don't know why but it was - he had a blue tummy).
So, there and back, six planes and four lay overs later...here we are safe and sound. Very very very nice trip, my biggest goal happened, the grandkids loved and bonded and made great memories with their grandparents, and visa versa.
I was in a time warp (haven't seen them for 10 years), and environmental warp (Wisconsin versus Arizona), I was a daughter and mother at the same time which was really weird, was shocked at how frail my ma now is, felt emotional or teary a lot there but really wasn't sad so not sure what was up with that.
When I first got in the car when they picked us up, omg, they were talking to each other but about different topics, and sometimes at the same time...almost like the "Who's on First" comedy thing, only neither speaker heard the other. So at first I was like "Ok, this is going to be a long week" and also, they seemed to forget a lot of what was said, right after we said it, like whole discussions. I was and am still sort of shocked, at how 'old' my ma has gotten, I mean she's the same person, but so much more vulnerable or something. So very thin too. And wow set in her ways - not at all mean or crusty or anything, she never cared if the kids touched things or played her piano or did kid things or even broke something, she's always been the type to care that no one got hurt rather than what got wrecked.
Grandpa was a bit more touchy or potentially anal or picky or irritable, and their house is not only very clean but full of breakables so I could have been a wreck, but, I just figured "hey, kids will be kids, I'm can't drive myself crazy worried, I just can't". The few times Vince did 'wrong' I let him deal with Vince, it inevitably turned into Vince talking about weather facts, and he sort of came to see Vince was not able to go by his rules every moment. I've never seen him do the 'adjusting' in 'his home' but he did for Vince, he really did, and things were just fine. They even went fishing one day...turned into Vince freaking cause he didn't catch any fish, but the two of them worked it out without me and that was amazing. Grandpa followed the tips I gave him before they left, let Vince vent, in two minutes Vince was apologizing, and they moved on...grandpa fished and Vince threw rocks in the water and onto really tall rock hills and they both were happy. I gotta give kudos to grandpa for not 'flexing' or doing guy authority stuff that would have made matters worse.
The very best parts of the trip, was when Carmen asked me how many days were left before we went home, and when I said "Three" she cried and said she didn't want to go back home, she wanted to live with her grandparents for a while (Awwwwwww! That is so wonderful, that meant all the bonding I hoped would happen did!). Also, the very best part of the trip was when Vince cried as we boarded the plane home and said, "Can we at least stay till May" cause that also meant he bonded with, and will have wonderful memories of, his grandparents.
The very worst part...was I didn't get to see Peg and was a big butt face and didn't even call her, I was already overwhelmed by everything, but I still feel like I was a really poo head for not calling. There was just no way I saw it possible we could all meet up.
The second worse part was the house was like friggin 80, not a drop of humidity, omg, it was like sleeping in....well in my parents' house in Arizona, hee hee.
Carmen mostly clung to 'grandma' and was the hard working dutiful granddaughter with perfect manners, etc... she doted on grandpa bringing him his cup of coffee topped with whip cream and many other things to 'spoil' him. It was very nice, she just seemed to do automatically, all things that made her the 'do no wrong' granddaughter in their eyes.
Vincent mostly used the big cool puter his grandpa had and was thrilled that he was allowed to print (in color!) all the weather stuff he wanted to. Also he spent lots of time running a hose in back of the house, making wee rivers and lakes...it's dry and sandy there and the water doesn't really sink in. Both grandparents loved to finally get to know him in person, the last time they saw him he didn't talk or respond to his name, etc... and now they finally feel they got to know him. They both seemed to 'get' what was autism, versus what was intentional...all he did 'wrong' was autism, they got that (grandpa took a few days but did get it) and that was a relief cause my son is wonderful, and that quality too often is not evident cause the autism is too often seen with nt intentions, know what I mean?
Vince sure kept us laughing...sadly grandpa fell once, and my ma later asked him if his 'doopa' was ok (that means butt) and Vince, also concerned about his fall says "yes grandpa, is your penis ok?" Baawaawawaa! Grandpa and all of us laughed so hard - though my ma seems like a priss or prude on the outside, she thankfully thought all Vincent's misunderstandings were a riot (which they are).
They whole time, Vince provided the 'rofl' factor, and Carmen the 'cute' factor.
We went to Sedona and Camp Verde...at Sedona we went on the calm Pink Jeep Adventure at the bottom of some canyon, the guide was nice but he quoted several erroneous facts about the plant life (the prickly pear cactus for one) but I did not correct him. But it was a good activity cause my ma and her dh can't walk well. Then, around Camp Verde we went to a cool zoo where you take an open 'safari' in a sort of windowless bus and see zebras and other wild critters roaming right up to the bus. This giraffe kept eating out of my mouth, omg, huge beautiful eyes, he was so so very gentle, he'd look at me with that huge sandy tongue reaching for the carrot or broccoli in my teeth like he was saying gently with his eyes "don't worry, I won't bite you in the face, I only want the vegetables". Man, ya had to be there.
Vince and I caught a very neat lizard which was the most stellar part of the trip for me activity wise (gawd that was so fun - and I really don't know why but it was - he had a blue tummy).
So, there and back, six planes and four lay overs later...here we are safe and sound. Very very very nice trip, my biggest goal happened, the grandkids loved and bonded and made great memories with their grandparents, and visa versa.