Please help, just found out my 17yr old is addicted

[Jibokri5]

Hi all, Please help me! My 17yr old son finally admitted to me that for a month now he has been taking Oxycontin, percocet, Klonipin or any drug he can get his hands on from someone at school selling them! He wanted to stop, he broke down and told his older brother and me. He was crying and kept saying, "please I need a psychiatrist now"!

My Son has always been the very sensitive kind. His friends(girls) call him crying all the time, he helps to talk to them and help. The hardest thing was, moving here to help take of my Dad(same house) while he had cancer. He was very hands on helping him and my Dad passed away with my Son watching. It was horrible. I myself have numerous spinal surgeries and take meds myself. He has watched me suffer for years now. Living here with my Mother is hell itself. She is driving us all mad. My Son goes to his old HS, I drive him daily. He said though that he feels like he's locked in this house with my Mom driving him crazy and only seeing his friends on the weekends.

Well, Feb 28th, I was in a very very serious 4 car accident on the highway after dropping him off at school and I was almost killed. That is when he started to try to "stop his pain and worrying" with any pills he could get his hands on in school. He said I deserve better and he cannot help me and it kills him. He has NEVER taken my pills, he said, "I know you need them, your suffering bad" and I've never come up short. He saves his money and buys them from a** pusher at school! His close friends kept warning him to stop and begging him too, but he didn't.

He told me last night, I want help, because I don't want to stop. We had a long talk, we've always been open and after talking to me, his friends and brother he Then he told me, "I want help, because I made promises to You, my friends and my brother to stop and to myself, I can do it with help, my body wants them, but I don't". He's been hot, shaky and throwing up now, withdrawls. I didn't want to send him to school today, temptation. I can't keep him out of school long though and tomorrow(Friday) he has to go to school and says, "I can handle it, I will say "NO"". He also had his friends hunt down that kid selling them and told them to keep away from my son and do NOT sell him anything.

I'm scared to death. This is so not like my son and I never could tell or see the signs. I honestly couldn't. He got thin, but he was also not eating. He hid it very very well and broke down and told me everything! I cannot tell my hubby, he won't understand, he will yell, I just know it. I even tried to talk to hubby about peer pressure and taking pills(he knows my son is depressed and needs help) and hubby yelled, "Is that it, he's taking pills"? I said, "NO".

Please help, I'm doing the best I can. I'm trying to find a therapy center that will help. I have no money, but he has insurance and I need to keep it quiet from My Mother(she's really unbelievable), my siblings(cops and self righteous), and my husband(who will flip his lid).

How hard will it be for him, taking any meds he could get his hands on for a month, never mixing them? Taking one pill of something, almost every other day. How can I keep him out of school? Why are drugs so prevelant in school? It pisses(sorry) me off!!!!! He honestly never has stolen any of mine though, not even one. He's worried sick about my pain and problems.

I'm worried sick about him. Sorry for rambling but I'm scared and seriously since the car accident, I'm still not in great physical(I got hit on the highway, spun around and ended up facing the wrong way in the high speed lane and hit head on again by someone going 75mph, my Son knows the whole thing and saw the results of it and I think it sent him over the edge) and my mental shape is filled with anxiety and panic attacks, I thought they couldn't get any worse, but, OMG, they have!

Thanks for reading if you have. God help Him and Me please.

[Amber]

The good news is he wants to stop. It's difficult to say how severe his physical withdrawals will be (re: missed schooled days). If he was not taking them everyday then the withdrawals should be minimal, especially if it has only been a month. Sometimes the psychological withdrawals can manifest themselves into physical withdrawals such as anxiety, depression, cramping, etc. I suppose the best advice I could give is that you alone cannot help your son. You may want to re-think not telling anyone else in your family as you run the risk of enabling your sons addictive behavior. Secrets about addiction are breeding grounds for addictive behavior. At the very least have your son attend NA meetings and perhaps you could attend some Al-anon meetings.

I wish you and your son all the best.

[houghchrst]

I hate to say this but I think the best thing for your son would be an inpatient treatment program. I know that it may seem harsh because you may say he has not been using long and he really wants to stop but he is only seventeen and he needs to be out of the environment that he currently is in to learn the skills to stop using for good and to learn other ways to deal with his feelings of helplessness and fear and other feelings before going back. He needs to learn the what, why and how before he goes back on the streets. Summer is coming, maybe it is a perfect time.

He may not be taking your drugs now but you can believe that there will come a point in time when he either has no money, or they are not so easily available to him and yours will be. I know, I am a recovering addict. Please do this now for him before things get any more out of hand. You will have to talk to your husband. You will have to make him understand why you did not want to tell him. You do not have to tell the entire extended family if you do not want to. It is not really any of their business. Just that your son is having some problems and he is getting some help. No details. Let them speculate, you concentrate on him. If you are asked simply tell them that things are being taken care of, you would rather not discuss it and pleasantly change the subject.

I hope you get him some help soon. I usually post more often but I have been very sick. Though when I saw this I felt the need to post. I have a 15 yr old son and while he is made aware of the culture and the consequences regularly, I still live in fear.

[houghchrst]

Hi Jibroki5, I just wanted to pop back in this morning and say a couple more things now that I have had the night to think. First is you and your husband must present a united, supportive, loving, understanding front. Your husband is going to be angry, embarrassed, hurt, and disappointed. He will want to vent, throw things, cry which is fine and natural but he really mustn't do the throwing or too much yelling at your son. Expressing his feelings is only normal. Let him do it before he confronts your son. Try to have your son gone when you tell him. Give him time to vent then you two can talk and come to some decisions about getting help.

There are day programs that will try to match your son's curriculum and he goes there during the day and also does counseling and in the evening comes home. Talk to his counselor, principals and let them know what is going on. The local hospitals should have info on who to contact regarding any metal health treatment. When he finishes school he can enter an inpatient treatment or continue day treatment. Whichever his treatment counselors feel is better. Has the dealer been turned in to the school and police if not why? Keeping him home from school will not keep him from using.

As for family not knowing, you can bet that somewhere in your family whether it be children, themselves, close friends or extended family they have had close experience with drug abuse or alcoholism and despite their self righteousness they are your family and you may find a champion among them. It is your choice. He is their nephew and will need all the support he can get and by them being in the police force maybe they can scare him a bit (while being supportive). As for your mother, do not be afraid to use the "shut up mother", or the kinder "I would rather not discuss it, if there is any news I feel you should know then I will call you". Though I always like the "shut up mother" lol.

My son is the same way when it come to being very emotional, he just called me last night in tears because his girlfriend got a raw deal for a family and she had just left him almost hysterical in tears and he felt helpless and angry and so wanted to help her. He always has been a tender soul and has friends calling for advice, girls for a shoulder to cry on. He is highly sensitive to my chronic pain and often stays at his grandmother's because it is hard for him to be here and watch me suffer. This is something he just informed me of. I am a newly and ongoing lol, diagnosed chronic pain sufferer. A hard thing to be with a history of drug abuse.

Anyway, the only way I can give advice is because these are the things I would start with if I were in your situation. You may PM me if you like and I do hope you feel free to post and will keep us updated. My prayers are with you.

[Leeaelle]

Hi dear Jib ~

Bless your heart, you're going thru some very tough times right now not to mention your spinal problems, etc. My heart goes out to you!

I truly believe your son should go to an inpatient program ~ not a 30 day program but perhaps a 2 week stint to get him detoxed and get a bunch of meetings under his belt. Also he'll meet other young people who have the same problem as he does, so that will be helpful to him. Getting off drugs can be dangerous and depending on the person and the drugs, one can even have seizures. It's probably unlikely in your son's case since he's not been on them that long, but you never know.

My son was in rehab at that age for alcohol abuse and I highly recommend it. Whatever you choose to do, my prayers are with you. God bless ~ I know they say that God doesn't give us more than we can handle, but He's surely testing you right now. ;) Keep us posted, ok? Hugs, Lee

[Matuboo]

Hi all, Please help me! My 17yr old son finally admitted to me that for a month now he has been taking Oxycontin, percocet, Klonipin or any drug he can get his hands on from someone at school selling them! He wanted to stop, he broke down and told his older brother and me. He was crying and kept saying, "please I need a psychiatrist now"!

My Son has always been the very sensitive kind. His friends(girls) call him crying all the time, he helps to talk to them and help. The hardest thing was, moving here to help take of my Dad(same house) while he had cancer. He was very hands on helping him and my Dad passed away with my Son watching. It was horrible. I myself have numerous spinal surgeries and take meds myself. He has watched me suffer for years now. Living here with my Mother is hell itself. She is driving us all mad. My Son goes to his old HS, I drive him daily. He said though that he feels like he's locked in this house with my Mom driving him crazy and only seeing his friends on the weekends.

Well, Feb 28th, I was in a very very serious 4 car accident on the highway after dropping him off at school and I was almost killed. That is when he started to try to "stop his pain and worrying" with any pills he could get his hands on in school. He said I deserve better and he cannot help me and it kills him. He has NEVER taken my pills, he said, "I know you need them, your suffering bad" and I've never come up short. He saves his money and buys them from a** pusher at school! His close friends kept warning him to stop and begging him too, but he didn't.

He told me last night, I want help, because I don't want to stop. We had a long talk, we've always been open and after talking to me, his friends and brother he Then he told me, "I want help, because I made promises to You, my friends and my brother to stop and to myself, I can do it with help, my body wants them, but I don't". He's been hot, shaky and throwing up now, withdrawls. I didn't want to send him to school today, temptation. I can't keep him out of school long though and tomorrow(Friday) he has to go to school and says, "I can handle it, I will say "NO"". He also had his friends hunt down that kid selling them and told them to keep away from my son and do NOT sell him anything.

I'm scared to death. This is so not like my son and I never could tell or see the signs. I honestly couldn't. He got thin, but he was also not eating. He hid it very very well and broke down and told me everything! I cannot tell my hubby, he won't understand, he will yell, I just know it. I even tried to talk to hubby about peer pressure and taking pills(he knows my son is depressed and needs help) and hubby yelled, "Is that it, he's taking pills"? I said, "NO".

Please help, I'm doing the best I can. I'm trying to find a therapy center that will help. I have no money, but he has insurance and I need to keep it quiet from My Mother(she's really unbelievable), my siblings(cops and self righteous), and my husband(who will flip his lid).

How hard will it be for him, taking any meds he could get his hands on for a month, never mixing them? Taking one pill of something, almost every other day. How can I keep him out of school? Why are drugs so prevelant in school? It pisses(sorry) me off!!!!! He honestly never has stolen any of mine though, not even one. He's worried sick about my pain and problems.

I'm worried sick about him. Sorry for rambling but I'm scared and seriously since the car accident, I'm still not in great physical(I got hit on the highway, spun around and ended up facing the wrong way in the high speed lane and hit head on again by someone going 75mph, my Son knows the whole thing and saw the results of it and I think it sent him over the edge) and my mental shape is filled with anxiety and panic attacks, I thought they couldn't get any worse, but, OMG, they have!

Thanks for reading if you have. God help Him and Me please.


Well, you've gotten a lot of help from some very sharp people who know what they're talking about. The only thing I'd like to add is two things, he has a family who cares and he's young, that's more than I have.


Good luck to him and your family, God Bless.

M

[houghchrst]

Hey M, yes you are right. There are a lot of kids out there who have parents who are too busy or too wrapped up in their own worlds to notice or care. Family can make all the difference. I know for me it was a tremendous support. Oddly enough they are almost all users LOL but they were all for my getting clean and sober. That sounds weird, how does that work lol. Well it did.

Have a good night.

[Matuboo]

Hey M, yes you are right. There are a lot of kids out there who have parents who are too busy or too wrapped up in their own worlds to notice or care. Family can make all the difference. I know for me it was a tremendous support. Oddly enough they are almost all users LOL but they were all for my getting clean and sober. That sounds weird, how does that work lol. Well it did.

Have a good night.


I don't know hun, don't know how it works. I haven't spoken to anyone but my mother (out of 10 family members) for years.

However, it DID work for you, it sounds like they really did care for you and sometimes, that's all that counts.

Good Night!

M;)

[houghchrst]

That is sad. Happens though. Resentments build, hurt feelings that can't/won't/aren't overcome, many families are split due to these type of things. What makes it worse is when there is contact with only one family member, what happens when that family member is gone?

We have had our differences in our family and we do have the black sheep, he is an alcoholic and is on the verge of living on the streets and though we hate the thought of it we are reaching a point where any more support is enabling and he is almost 40, he has no where to live except stays at my mother's and a "girlfriend's" and mom is getting ready to go into a treatment program, fingers crossed, so when she gets out he will have to learn to make his own way, get help or get out. And while we have all had our fights and disagreements and our periods of not speaking we still know that we are all we have so we always find ourselves coming back together. There is usually an unspoken apology but sometimes that is the way it is with us. Love keeps us together and always will.

[annabel]

Hey, from my own experience, ie being an addict and my 18 year old nephew admitting the same thing Saturday night - I drove two hours to his house to give him advice from a standpoint of having been there:

I begged him to go to a four or five day detox. It's a safe way to get clean, and while there they will start him with some basics in relapse prevention.

I do believe you need to tell your husband. Secrets don't help a marriage. As far as the rest of the family, it's none of their business.

[Matuboo]

Hey, from my own experience, ie being an addict and my 18 year old nephew admitting the same thing Saturday night - I drove two hours to his house to give him advice from a standpoint of having been there:

I begged him to go to a four or five day detox. It's a safe way to get clean, and while there they will start him with some basics in relapse prevention.

I do believe you need to tell your husband. Secrets don't help a marriage. As far as the rest of the family, it's none of their business.


Some detox facilities can be rough. I went through Ten Broeck on 8MG of Klonopin per day and about 60-90MG's of Hydrocodone, not to mention 20MG's of Ambien a night for six years. The Hydrocodone WD's weren't that bad but the Klonopin was horrible. I was there eight days and the only thing they gave me was 6 Librium the whole time. My blood pressure (which is normally 115/70 was up to 145/110 and my pulse was 140.) I thought I was going to have a stroke or a heart attack, benzo WD is so nasty.


To their credit, they did keep track of my vitals but I don't see how they can completely deduce how well someone is doing by simply taking their BP, temp and pulse. I know it does give some indication of how welll someone is doing but please!:confused: I mean, I only slept about an hour a night. Still, I made it through alive so I guess you can't call it a failure! Physically though, it was the most miserable thing I've ever been through and I don't think it's important that someone suffer that much, especially if they come in on their own accord. The nurses and staff were also unseemly and rude. I will say that the counsellors (CD) were nice and helpful but the nurses and doctors make the ulytimate decision and have control over your detox, or lack there of in my case.


This is just one facility though and it does not have a good reputation, there are lots out there that are much better. I was just glad the doctor let me go after eight days so I could get out and do a proper taper rather than suffer for months on end. As for the opioids, they're nothing compared to benzo WD's (cold turkey.)

[annabel]

You really need to find a good center. The one I went to had a withdrawal chart that they went over with you every day to see where you were and if you were a candidate for suboxone. They were also compassionate, wonderful individuals.

I've never had addiction issues wih benzos; took them for a time prn. When I went into detox they stopped me cold turkey and I had no withdrawals. But from what I've heard, I'm the minority. People on my floor w/ding from them went through some really, really rough times. You're right; opiod w/d, while wishing you're dead going through it at least it won't actually kill you.

[Matuboo]

You really need to find a good center. The one I went to had a withdrawal chart that they went over with you every day to see where you were and if you were a candidate for suboxone. They were also compassionate, wonderful individuals.

I've never had addiction issues wih benzos; took them for a time prn. When I went into detox they stopped me cold turkey and I had no withdrawals. But from what I've heard, I'm the minority. People on my floor w/ding from them went through some really, really rough times. You're right; opiod w/d, while wishing you're dead going through it at least it won't actually kill you.


I could never have been so lucky! I have been through detox before but I was there for another reason and didn't have WD's. The facility itself was pretty decent in terms of being relatively nice but that doesn't matter if the staff doesn't treat patients appropriately. It also housed mentally ill people who were put on the same floor which was a bit odd. Not that this really bothered me as most were just nice people with problems but it seemed strange. They also didn't really make it a point to seperate males and females, I shared a hall with women and I know there were people doing the wild thing! As for the nurses, I found only one or two (out of 20) who were nice and concerned about my symptoms. The Librium did help when they gave it to me but again, 6 pills for over a week stay didn't cut it. I was sick as a dog. They never even considered the hydrocoeone withdrawal. Even after I got out (stayed off the hydro) and went back on the Klonopin to taper, it took me a good 10 days to feel normal again.


I think, at 8mg's per day, Klonpin WD's can be pretty nasty. Especially if you've been on it a long time. I am down to about 2.5 per day now after about six weeks, a pretty fast taper compared to what Fred used to recommend but it's working ok. Hydro WD's make you feel really nasty and cause a lot of stomach problems and severe depression. Benzos are more likely to cause your body to just do really weird things, like make your heart race, cause severe muscle spasms (everywhere in your body) and relentless insomina, not to mention horrible panic attacks out of nowhere. I was taking some heavy duty (knockout) antidepressants and they didn't do a thing to help me sleep.


You're right though, every facility is different, I've heard of some really good ones but not around here, my options were kind of limited. I couldn't really go out of state.

M

[annabel]

I went to McLean Hosptial, which is also a mental health facility and considered one of the best. I'm lucky, because I live pretty close to Boston so I had many choices.

The highest dose I was ever at on klonopin was .5 1 mg per day. That's a big difference than the 8. I think w/ding off that would have killed me!

[Matuboo]

I went to McLean Hosptial, which is also a mental health facility and considered one of the best. I'm lucky, because I live pretty close to Boston so I had many choices.

The highest dose I was ever at on klonopin was .5 1 mg per day. That's a big difference than the 8. I think w/ding off that would have killed me!


Well, Boston is a pretty large city so I'm sure the facilities there are much better. Glad you found a decent place to go!


Yeah, .5 is probably not going to cause any problems at all, it shouldn't anyway. My doctor was actually prescribing 6MG's per day and early refills were never a problem, a pretty high dose to be handing out! It wouldn't have killed you but I can tell you that it would have been nearly impossible for me to continue cold turkey with the symptoms I was having. They would have lasted for much longer than the doctor in the center said too, he claimed two weeks which is BS.


To the original poster, I hope that your son is doing well and I'm so glad that his problem was recognized at an early age, that is a blessing.

[Phil]

Hello (((Jibokri5))),

I am just a recovering addict who bases my opinions on my life experiences.

First, God bless you, your son and your entire family!! This must be such a nightmare for you. First, your son probably does need to be admitted to a lock down detox and if possible, a combo psych ward. IMHO, he needs the services of both. I have used the services of both. Please make him tell you the name of "this drug dealer". I would go all the way with this. This drug dealer is literally killing your son. This drug dealer needs some jail time.

I would call the police, the school board and talk to the school principal in person. I would not let them brush me off!!

Your son needs immediate attention. This is a very serious problem!!
You sound like a compassionate concerned very loving mother.

I do need to tell you and you may already know about OxyContin. Depending on the strength of the pill, one pill could potentially kill him. You did mean OxyContin and not Oxycodone, right? They are both the same drug but OxyContin is much more potent. Oxycodone can be too but the milligram would have to be awfully high in my humble opinion.

He sounds like a wonderful human being. I am glad the two of you are close. I am sorry for the loss of your father and the stress of your mother. I am very glad to hear you survived your accident!!

You are in my thoughts and prayers. Please let us know how things are going.

All of our love, Phil and Samantha

[Michael]

First, I want to say I am sorry your son is going through this. There is a plus, better to go through it without any legal problems and at a young age. All of these will make a big difference later in life. As long as he stays clean and sober!

Is he attending AA or NA? If not, do everything in your power to get him to attend a meeting once a day for a minimum of 90 days. Also, make sure he just does not “attend”, but becomes involved by getting a sponsor, talking during and after meetings, etc.

QUOTE, “How hard will it be for him, taking any meds he could get his hands on for a month, never mixing them? Taking one pill of something, almost every other day. How can I keep him out of school? Why are drugs so prevelant in school? It pisses(sorry) me off!!!!! He honestly never has stolen any of mine though, not even one. He's worried sick about my pain and problems.”

Quote “How hard will it be for him?” It depends on the drug he was taking the most of, how much was he taking, and was he taking it daily. Some medications withdrawal, specifically benzodiazepines and barbiturates can be fatal. Klonopin, which falls into the category of benzodiazepines, can be fatal if the user abruptly discontinues the medication. He would have most likely had to have been taking it several times per day, every day to become dependant on the drug. This is when it is very serious. If he was taking a benzodiazepine every day, I would get him into a medical setting supervised by nurses and physicians immediately. The consequences are too strong- death!

It doesn’t sound like he was taking any barbiturates. Some of the more sought after pills for recreation use would be Seconal, Amytal, Nembotal, and Tuina. The same advice goes for these meds as the benzodiazepines.

The opioids, which include OxyContin, Percocet, Lortab, Morphine, Dilaudid, Demerol, Heroin, etc., are all very powerful drugs. However, when they are discontinued abruptly they do not carry the same degree of risk of during withdrawal as do the other classes I just mentioned. In fact, the only reasons patients usually go to a medical detoxification are because of the very unpleasant side effects they cause. Insomnia, lack of appetite, flu-like symptoms, night sweats, irritability, etc.

I hope everything works out the best for you, your son and the entire family. I am really sorry you do NOT have a support system to help you deal with this very serious problem of addiction. I wish you and your son the best. If you would like to e-mail me, please ask and I will provide you with my address.

Mike

[zep4141]

Get him to inpatient treatment right away. As a Parent, you are legally obligated to get medical help. If your child broke his arm you would get him to a physician immediatly for treatment?

[Buffheart]

Before sending him away, make sure you find the best centers that you can. Some programs even include animal therapy or take the patients out to do other challenging things, like rock courses