Family and CP

[Nana4&cntn]

Hi All,

Today was my youngest grandsons first birthday party!! I was so happy to be there. My pain has been off the scales lately. I was unable to get down on the floor to play with him, I was able to hold him when my daughter handed him to me.
The problem is everyone thinking I am stoned!! I had taken meds several hours prior and was NOT stoned. It is so frustrating when my kids think I am loopy and it irritates me. I was using the cane as usual and in quite a bit of pain, but functioning pretty well. I don't know how to make them understand the meds don't make me loopy!!
I stayed much longer than I should have. When I got home I got an ice pack and literally passed out in my recliner. Well, it is a few hours later and more sleep.

Well, I guess that's it for now. Thanks for listening to me whine.
Kathy

[Debbie71]

I know what you mean about your family thinking you are stoned all of the time. I am currently taking oxycontin 20mg twice a day and oxycontin 5mg throughout the day if needed. I have had a fusion at L5/S1 and now I am in constant pain...haven't worked in 6 months. My husband actually counts my meds. Some days I don't even take the 5mg and just stay in the bed on the heating pad and he swears that I am in the bed asleep because I am taking too much meds. My mother says that I just need to throw them all away and just lose weight. Why is it so hard for people to understand that we take the meds for a reason...We are constantly in pain!!! Hang in there...

[Kandra]

Kathy,

I'm so sorry your family feels that you're "loopy" when you're not! Maybe don't tell them anything about your meds in the future? You might even consider telling them a "fib" and say you've decreased your meds. You shouldn't have to do that, but you shouldn't be put through the emotional pain that comes from your family thinking you're loopy!

Wow, Debbie...your husband actually counts your meds??:eek::( The amount of oxy you're on isn't a huge dose at all. Do you think your doc talking to him and your mom might help?

[Domzy]

Wow! I am so sorry to hear that your family isn't more supportive of your situation. It was a great suggestion for your doctor to speak to your family. Maybe take someone with you to your next doctor's appointment.

I hope you are feeling better today. :)

Kathy *forgetmenot

[Kathi49]

Kathy,

I am sorry to hear your family is making statements like that. :( But Kandra's suggestion is a good one. I'd see if any one of your family members could go with you to the doc the next time. Most of my family understands it all now. But IF someone says something cute, I just say, okay, IF and WHEN his EVER happens to you, we will have a nice little chat. :) And usually it is my daughter that might make a little quip every now and then. But, boy, who does SHE call when she is in pain? LOL I know it is aggravating and irritating so feel free to whine. The bottom line is...they probably just don't understand it all and the need for medications and more importantly...they just don't feel what we are feeling.

[houghchrst]

Kathy I am so sorry you are in so much pain and that your family is having so much trouble understanding. I really don't know what to say because everyone in my family seems to have some kind of issues either with backs or something so most of them get it. The best I can do is agree with the others and pass on a hug.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{KATHY}}}}}}}}}}}

[Gimpy]

For me, my meds are never discussed with my family other than my husband. Since he and the girls are the ones that see me in the severe pain episodes, they understands the need for the meds. The rest of my family, 1200 miles away, I don't care what they think about me anymore, good or bad. It has been brought up at family gatherings before, just pain meds in general conversation not necessarily about me using them, and I told them that I would never discuss my medications with them, period, and they have never asked again.

As for my children, I think they are understanding because they have seen what the pain can do to me. If they were grown and gone when all this started, their opinions might very well be different.

Really, tell them all to go take a hike, it's not their body and they can't possibly know how much pain you are in.

Another solution, is to walk over and stomp as hard as you can on their foot and then tell them to suck it up, it can't be that bad. :D:D Just a thought!


From what I've read of your posts, I doubt very much if you would abuse any of your medications, Kathy. You are very level headed and your family should realize that if strangers do.

Linda

[Nana4&cntn]

Thank you all for your support!! The thing that gets me so pissed off are my 2 youngest kids. They were here when all of this started, my son was in the van with me when I was hit. Maybe, they are just concerned and it comes out wrong or I am over sensitive. Who knows, My mom and oldest son are fine with everything that is going on. My Aunt lives down the street and thinks I am loopy all the time!! I do not talk with her about the meds.

Kandra, It is a good idea about taking one of them with me to the doc. Maybe this summer when school is out I can get my daughter to go with me as she is a teacher. We can take the baby with us.

They all let me babysit the grandkids so they must have some trust that I can handle things. Maybe it is the stigma of opiates, who knows but we will be having a talk and soon!! I will let all of you know how it goes!

Linda, I like your idea of stomping on their feet LOL.

Than you all again for all of your support it really means a lot to me. I have decreased my meds significantly, but we went too far too fast so I am back to where I was. Tolerable pain today:)

Take care all, you are the best!!
Kathy

[Mark N]

Kathy, I agree with what everyone is saying but I do want to offer something different. There are times we operate slower and are effected by our meds but it seems that we are doing just fine. I don't talk about how much I take but I do need to let other family members know I am taking my meds so they know why I am responding the way I am. I go from 'normal' to in pain and not tracking well to meds effecting my attention to out of it from pain or meds.

It may be that you feel ok but others see you responding slower than usual. It is hard for us to know what our response really is. I have a standing rule in my family that they can overrule when I drive. I am cautious about when I can get behind the wheel but if I am not quite with it they can say you can't drive right now.

We are walking a fine line with the strong meds we take and not only do our families need to be supportive but we need to be aware that we don't always know how we are tracking. I think it would be a good thing to take a family member to your appointment. They clearly need some education why you are on the meds you are on and why.

Debbie, I am sorry that your family isn't more supportive and are reacting the way they are. They clearly have no idea what kind of pain you are dealing with.

[911]

i am sorry to hear this as this has been the typical response of my blood family they have thought i had a problem for years , well sandra and my new family doesnt see it that way at all as i am not stoned , yet my old family did infact the times i was in the psych unti they all thought i was in rehab ????????? go figure they never bothered with me now that i inherited some money well i hear from them all the time but you can guess what thats about but i have given up on them long ago , what is importaANT is that my kids have seen the me that i am happy , not stoned , they dont think i am infact just about everyone in my life didnt think i would ever make it back , i hate to say it to hell with them . i did have a siter i recently found out spent some time herself in a psych unit well i wonder how she might feel if i said she was in rehab ??????????? sorry i am bitter but i really feel for you (((((((((((((((nana))))))))))))))),,,,,,,,,,,,,, Dave

[Nana4&cntn]

Thanks,

Mark, I guess I never thought of it the way you put it. I could be responding slowly, My mom is the only one who knows exactly what meds I am taking. She has been to many appointments with me, a lot of times she has had to drive as I was in too much pain. My kids have also been to appointments, but that has been years ago. I am going to ask my daughter to go with me once school is out and before the baby comes. My son has a heavy job as an electrical engineer and would never be able to get off to go.

Dave, I am so happy for you and your new family. It is tough for anyone to have to be in a psych unit, let alone not to have family support. I just can't fathom the people in your other family believing you were in a rehab facility. Here they aren't anywhere near each other.

I am keeping you, Sandra and the boys in my prayers. Are you near the beaches? This California girl is dieing for a beach fix. Maybe the pacific in August.

Take care,
Kathy

[Mark N]

Kathy, It is too bad your family is reacting this way to you. I know you have many good times when the meds aren't making you react slow. It is just too bad your family doesn't distinguish the differences with you and know you aren't under the influence of your meds except rarely.

Hang in there and hopefully they will become more understanding in the future.

[911]

thanks Nana you are in my thoughts in prayers , yeh i am very very upset with my "blood relatives" so much so i dont wish to talk to them and didnt tell them we moved , my ex wife gave them my cell fone number and i started getting calls again but i am shortly going to stop that in a big way as my new family cares for me just the way i am and they mean more to me than you can imagine , it's been such a long time since i have had anyone in my life who cared about me the way they do , i am sorry for your family nana but i certainly understand your postion ,,,,,,,,,,, Dave and Sandra

[Peter B]

Kathy,
Does your appearance lead people to think you're stoned or is it just the fact that they know you take meds cause them to think you are?

Pete

[Nana4&cntn]

Pete,

I think it is a bit of both, I have let my appearance go and have horrible circles under mt eyes. Make up is just mascara and lotion. I also am unsteady on my feet and use a cane, the PN doesn't help much either.

My kids and immediate family know I take heavy hitter meds. I am sure they are looking for signs of being stoned. I take all med as directed and a lot of times don't take them if I don't feel I need them. Yesterday the party was at 1pm and my last dose was at 9am, toward the end of the party I was in serious pain and needed to take meds but waited until I got home at 4:30.

Thanks for asking,
Kathy