New here, but not to pain...

[Vikingned]

Hello,

I just signed up for this forum and hopefully it will help me deal with the fealing of being alone lately. I'm 46, married , and we have a wonderful son of 8 years old.

I worked in Concrete Construction for 25 long years. A few years ago, I stopped working because my back just couldn't take it anymore. Over the past 8 years now, I've been in and out of hospitals, Dr's offices, therapy, ect ect.

I applied for SSD, 3 years ago and was denied, at that same time, financial difficulty set in and I gave up. I went back to trying to work and it didn't work out. Matter of fact, a co worker dropped a large panel and I couldn't move fast enough and because of that my pinky was cut off at the knuckle. OUCH!

Last April of 2007, I applied again, and I've already been denied twice. I do have the support of a number of Dr's and my surgeon is a big support to me. I do have a lawyer now, and she has applied for my ALJ hearing.

Just this week, I was sent for updated XRays and an MRI for my lower lumbar. I've decided to go ahead with the surgery, which will be a fusion/decomperesion of the lower lumbar.


Well, I'm not much of a talker, but just wanted to say hello. Hopefully I can be of some support and also recieve some when needed.....
This is all very depressing to me. I've always been a hard worker and a provider to my family. Now I feel like a big waste. But I'm not going to give up like I did last time. It's just sad our Government doesn't help us more quickly, espeicaly when they can see that we are hurting and can't work any longer.

One funny thing I had to laugh at. My last denial letter, they said I could still fill the position of being a Bed Spread Folder, or Linen Folder....I can't even picture that. ....I should make a copy and post it here. That was like a slap in the face to a Concrete Worker......

Thanks for the ear.....

Ned in Connecticut

[debhun]

Welcome to the board. I hope you find that we are just a big family here. There is many that can help with Info or just a ear for you. I hope I can help you in any way that I can.
I am sorry that you feel low but try and not get you down. Look at it this way you can spend time with your son. He is getting to that age where he will need you more and more. When God shut a door a window is open. I beleive there is a reason for every thing. We may know why later and we my not.
I was disaproved too but I am going back for SSI later on down the road.
People with CP seem to follow a winding road with stops and turns. But we will get there one way or another.

Again welcome
Deb

[Tbackpain1]

Welcome!

I'm sorry that you have to join the CP crowd, but I'm glad you found us. Its a great place to be able to vent about the daily grind of chronic pain and ask questions of others. And, where else can you go to talk to people who understand exactly what you're dealing with!

SSDI is tough. I applied and have been through 2 ALJ hearings, both times the outcome was unfavorable, even with good documentation. I have yet to find an employer who is willing to work within my limitations specified by my doc about my spine. If it wasn't for the pittance I get from Workers Comp, I'd be sunk financially...like you need $$$ stress when you've got enough stress already from constant pain.

Anywho, welcome to the group and keep on posting! :D

Theresa

[911]

ned , like tback i am sorry you have to join us here but as i have , i have found alot of great support with the folks here on braintalk , specialy the chronic pain part , i like you lost part of a finger a long time ago so i know the pain , i have also had my share of back surgury and untill the last it left me in alot more pain than i had started with , anyways good luck with everything including the ssdi thing i didnt have so much problem but i think it was more due to a psych illness i have to so best wishes and good luck , if you ever wish to PM me thru here your welcome to do so as is anyone , thanks for listning ,,,,,,,,,,, Dave aka 911

[Nana4&cntn]

Hi Ned,

I like the others are sorry you have to be here, but glad you found us!! I have only been here a few months and have found a tremendous amount of support. Like Deb said, we are like a family. We all have pain and are in the same boat. Welcome!!

Kathy

[Kathi49]

Hi and Welcome Ned! :)

As everyone has said, we are all pretty much in the same boat in one form or another. And don't you love those denial letters? :D I forget what my first one said but it was basically I could still do sedentary work. Excuse me, THAT is what caused my spinal downfall to begin with LOL! But...they are slowly coming around. Now it is all in the hands of an attorney. Just keep plugging away at them. I think it is pretty common to be turned down more than once. Anyway, just wanted to say hi and welcome. :)

[cindybear]

KEEP GOING you finaling win at the ALj court..Most people do..IT just the wait is long and can delete all your funds pluss...Unless you have a good wage earner in the marriage that is still working..I got my SSDI after allmost 5 years,,It was awfull, Felt like they thought I was lieing..They said I could be a ticket person at a theater..After nursing carrer of 10 years..Anyway, good luck and hopefully the court gets here quick for you...It just seems to drag..But once you have it, it is over with..Thank goodness..Hugs, Cindy

[Mark N]

Ned, welcome to our site. It is a tough adjustment both from a personal standpoint when you have to give up your job and financially as you wait for SSDI. I was turned down twice and had to have a hearing. Twenty minutes in the judge said I qualified and didn't understand the hold up on my approval. The gov't is quick to take our money but slow [it was almost three years for me] to pay it out when we desperately need it.

Good luck with the fusion and the SSDI.

[Vikingned]

Thank you everyone, you've helped me put a smile on my face, something that doesn't come easily these days.

I think the hardest part of everything for me to accept is two things, one: I was a proud family provider, now I have to watch my wife work every hour she can and she pulls alot of double shifts. Margie is a CNA, so I know she is now the one carrying the family on her back. I don't know what I would do without such a loving and caring wife by my side. She is my rock!....

Two: Our son David is going to be 8 years old in a week. It really hurts me, and I"m sure it hurts him also, the fact that it's almost impossible for me to play catch with him and pick him up and play. I did just sign him up for baseball though, and I'll try my best to support him and at least watch him and cheer him on.

[cindybear]

Chronic pain takes alot away from us, but it doesn't take away the love we have for our children/SO and or grandchildren..and the one thing I know wwe can do is be there for them...(maybe not physiscally like we'd like too ) but emotionally. WE can cheer them on better than most people...We are louder and prouder..to see ours do good..HUgs, Cindy

[Mark N]

Ned, you are fortunate to have a supportive wife and son. I have been limited by spinal issue for the entire life of my son who is 16. Even though I have been limited in my ability to play ball with him we are very close buddies. It is possible for our pain to bring us closer to our families. We can let the pain separate us but it isn't necessary that it does that to us and our kids. It is natural right now to have it get you down just as it got me down but you may find it isn't the problem you think it is.

The part about not being the breadwinner is something that you will come to terms with on your own. It isn't easy watching our wives work extra when we can no longer work. The main point is that we can't work not that we won't work. I hope you are able to come to terms with this as it can eat you up if your don't. There are so many ways our pain and spinal conditions effect our marriages and it is hard to come to terms with them when so much of our lives have been disrupted.

[Lil E]

Welcome Ned,
CP affects every aspect of your life unfortunately. With family support and the great people here it will be easier to navigate its twists and turns. Hopefully you have a good pain doc, thats half the battle. You'll find there is a lot of knowledge in the archives, the only dumb question is the one you don't ask. See you around.

[GardeniaGirl]

Just wanted to say welcome to the forum.

It has been a bit slow around here for a while - not sure exactly why, but glad to see a new face.

Sorry you are among our ranks though!

I have been dealing with my battle against chronic pain for over 10 years now.

I will be facing the nightmare of applying for SSDI probably within the next year.

I have a very flexible 3/4 time position that allows me to work around my health problems, but I am struggling even with all the accommodations.

Like you and most people on this forum, I have prided myself on my career and how hard I have worked in it all these years, so the idea of being a person who doesn't work is just a major mental adjustment to make.

anyway, Hopefully you will post more - there are a lot of good people on this forum.

take care,

GardeniaGirl