Nightly Journaling...

[milivica]

I have an idea. I want to start this thread on nightly journal kids and moms can fill out with the purpose highlighting all the GOOD parts of the day. See? To help train the asd mind as well as the mommy mind to focus and pick out positives.

Like one question could be "what was the funnest thing today" and if that's too vague it could be "the funnest at school during recess"...down to the last question every night can be "What are you most looking forward to tomorrow."

I'm about to fall over here, I'm pooped. But I'd like to start a thread, where we record and share questions we all are upon, that pull from our day all things positive, and from our kids' days too.

I have two motives. To see how it effects us as a group to enjoy sharing positives, but also to get in the habit of it...to see if it changes our outlook at all by forcing ourselves to focus on POSITIVE episodic memories.

If so, let's think of like 5 to 10 questions, nothing with a long answer to evoke feelings of success, competence, and positive emotional memories.

What made you laugh today?
What was the favorite thing you did today?
(and so on...)
I just know I'd like the last question to be "What are you most looking forward to tomorrow". I think that'd be a nice thing to focus on before bed, aye?

So c'mon ladies, think of questions. Questions that when answered, evoke pleasant memories and feelings. Both our kids and ourselves will answer.

Anyone game? Think of more questions.
Lisa

[Kristen (ColeysMom)]

I think that's an AWESOME idea!!!

We are sick here and VERY tired...but I just popped in cuz I'm gonna bust if I dont' tell you guys this...I know this isn't EXACTLY what you intended but since you wanted some positive things here you go:

The mail just came, and in it was the summary report from the developmental ped. The VERY last sentence:

"Coleman does not, at this time, appear to any longer have behaviors consistent with the diagnosis of PDD-NOS, and this diagnosis is WITHDRAWN."

There's a lot more that I want to talk to you about in her report...but I can't even tell you the weight and darkness that seems to be gone just from that one sentence! I know it's not that simple, but clinically he no longer had PDD, and that feel triumphant!

and, now I can exhale!

Mili, I'll do better (more in line with your intentions) next time, k!

[LauraP]

Awesome news Kristen! Just huge! I think that gets to count for a week of positive news, if not YEARS!!!

OK, I can't possibly compete with that, but yesterday I had had a really crummy, work-kicking-me-in-the-face sort of day, and topped it off with a LONG commute in the rain and picking up Sierra at her after-school program, and then a LONG drive home (and she missed Cheerleading, because it took us so long to get there), and I got home and was beat. Unlike in previous years, which I now have to view through the dim memory of years (thank GOD for that too!), she was great company during the commute, was fairly quiet, and gave me her funny little responses only when I asked her opinion. She didn't mind the rain, didn't lose her temper, and was ready for bath, brushing teeth and bedtime and no arguments. It was nothing spectacular, and that is really wonderful!

To append to Mili's questions:
1. What made you laugh today?
2. What was the favorite thing you did today?
3. What did someone say that you remember with awe (it was so simple and concise that you had to stop and think about it)?
4. What one thing that happened today do you think will make a difference in the future?

[wallyw1]

Wonderful idea, Mili. It reminds me of Oprah's gratefulness (I think I used the wrong word) journal. The idea was to get people to think differently. Now why didn't I think of using that concept back then. Thanks, Mili. I think your idea will work with our normal grandson--he is 13, I can think of many older people that need that concept too.
Gay, Wally's Mom

PS I think the word was gratitude.

[MomOTwins]

Today's up things:

Funniest and most awe-inspiring: Andrew's response to the question "Did you flush?" when racing out of the bathroom while getting ready for school - "Oh! I almost forgot!" (ok, he was almost as far from the bathroom as he could get, but he did have an explanation for racing back to the bathroom). It was the most NT way to start the morning that I've had in a while!

The one thing that'll have the most effect on my immediate future: I got to the accountant with our taxes, finally. For us, this is a big deal. We run two home-based businesses, DH works for the state of NY, and we've both got investments from when we were single (you know, the BC days ), so the paperwork is mind-blowing. Of course, using Quickbooks just makes it MORE complicated, not less.

The one thing that'll have the most effect on my [B]long-range future: I've been doing WeightWatchers since the beginning of the year (No, I didn't want to get into a weight loss war with you other ladies by talking about it here!) and tomorrow is weigh-in and meeting day. I made the mistake of stepping on the scale today (after suffering through 2 days of strep throat) and saw a number that shocked me so much that I had to re-weigh myself. I lost 3 lbs. since last week! Yes, yes, yes!!! This program works, my life is changing, and I'm totally psyched!!! OK, got to work out tonight to make it really stick!

Favorite thing that I did today: DH has every other Friday off (during the weeks when he works 10-hour days rather than 8-hour days). We spent today talking, dealing with family issues and plans, and just hanging out together like we used to do before having the boys. What a nice Friday treat! Not as good as a vacation for the two of us, but a lot like a mini-vacation. As everyone here knows, we take what we can get!

Have a great weekend! I'm off to edit a manuscript on cerebrovascular disease after the boys go to bed, DH will be making Rubber Rocks, and if I'm sure I'm not contagious, we may get some Activity Points on the chart later this evening (you WW ladies know what I mean :rolleyes: :rolleyes:).

[Isabelle]

good idea...now i am to tired...later i'd think ;)

[Mother's Heart]

I'm going to answer for last night. I was so tired I dropped out z-z-z-z-z-zzz.

oops. below is my stupid verbose long answer. Now...since it's not supposed to be a long detailed answer:

Best thing Friday: Donovan went to the dr, drive thru food, hospital (x-ray), sis in car, wal-mart, and home time: His behaviour and interactions were so n.t. calm, alert, responsive, interactive and tolerant. Communication with the keyboard was great. It was soooo nice, outstanding to have an effortless normal looking outing but the best thing was the natural give and take interaction between us and better yet between him and the public. I'm so pleased with him.

Impact on future (besides the above):
Good news: the SIL rep called and they have a text to speech device available for us to try out. :) and instead of it being the first one she mentioned that would've been less perfectly matched to him it turns out they have the VERY device I wanted to have him try out, the one that looks most hopeful to me. :) :D :)

longer version below. guess I';m supposed to delete that.

Best thing: the way Donovan handled the day. He went to bed at dawn, I got him up at 2:00 to take him to the Dr. Didn't feed him first, he had nothing to drink either. He seems to have something embedded in the arch of his foot. Well, he got up, whined a little about being hungry (well yeah, I think he went to sleep hungry :( ) then got dressed, went straight to the car and got in (calmly, not anxiously or with any help) Was so calm and patient going and entering the dr.'s office, behaved nicely in the waiting room, and when the nurse called his name he turned his head, got up and quietly walked through the door with her without any intervention from me, just as if he were any other adult being called in to see the doc. He did head a little quickly down the hallway to the room, not knowing she wanted to weigh him first. But inside he handled it all perfectly, went back to weigh...did that with the nurse's directions, not mine. He returned to the room nicely. As we waited we had nice conversation, he's making great progress with using the keyboard. Then the doc came in. Though he didn't look up at her when she greeted him (he was drawing in a notebook) he cooperated great with the exam which had to hurt some. At the end when she asked if he wanted a sticker, do you like stickers? he responded "not really". She commented he was doing really well with the keyboard.
Then we went to a hospital (different from his usual one) where he behaved similarly through going with me to the bathroom, waiting his turn, doing the film, waiting lying on the x-ray table for about 20 minutes :eek: while they read the film, then out to the car and to pick up sister, and even dealt nicely with having sister in the car (imPOSSIBLE!) Then we went to WallyWorld where he cried on the walk in, explained he was too tired to want to walk long and wanted to sit in the w/c. We went back to the car to get it and he handled that. If I'd chosen to turn and go back on an ordinary day he would've melted down bigtime. (but this was his choice and to his advantage) Anyway...he was great inside the store for a long time. unbelievable.
and great at home the rest of the night.

I was so proud of him. The pleasing thing was not so much that it made it less effortful for me and drew less negative attention to him (yes, that's nice)...but the natural interaction between us...indeed between him and other people. He responded naturally and casually to conversation and interactions with everyone. :D :) :D There were only three teeny little moments where he behaved out of 'normal' (not looking up at the dr when greeted, tossing a soft toy while we were registering at the hospital when the lady spoke too loudly, and hurrying into the exam room at the doc's) I actually think *I* was more embarrassing to his teen sister in the store than he was. ;) hmm. Normal stuff, in OUR family! wow

(good news, got a call from Indepdt living ctr that they have received an aug comm device for us to trial. The sound of his 'voice' is one step closer to being a reality. :))


aside: Mili, nice idea. This is very much like something I did 30 yrs ago during a particularly rough and lonely time in my life, when everything seemed so unbearable and the future looked frightening. As a stab at survival I bought one of those blank journal books and Called it my "Good Things Book". The intent was to write down the one positive thing about my day so I could see past all the hard negative stuff. I sat down to write and was startled to find it took pages to write about all the far beyond good things about my day. And the things were deeper, life impacting good things, not superficial events. And almost every day the list grew longer. (that was before my verbosity came into existence too :D) Days without good stuff are rare. This exercise saved me! So now we have The Good Things Book with an interactive RDI teaching twist. you are an intriguing woman. :D