ms-joyzee
10-31-2006, 04:46 PM
I'm hoping to gain some insight on this subject. Please stay with me here. I was married for 23 years. During our marriage, my ex and I were best friends with a gay couple. The gay couple were mutual friends to both of us. We met at the same time so it wasn't like I was friends with them before my ex or vice versa. All of us were extremely close, so much so that we traveled together, we celebrated every holiday together. We lived together at one point because my ex and I were in between houses. We were like adoptive family to each other. We shared so many laughs, somber moments, health issues, etc.
Well, two years ago, my ex and I divorced. After the divorce, one of the gay individuals shared with my son that he would not be comfortable remaining as my friend. He told my son that the friendship would not be same unless the four of us remained together. The gay couple has maintined a friendship with my ex, but they have totally disconnected with me.
After the divorce, I was crushed about them not wanting to remain my friend. Being crushed turned to anger and now I can't say that I feel anything. I contacted one of them a couple months ago only after I learned he had inquired about me. I attempted to bridge the gap and extended an invitation for both of them to visit me in my new home. He said he would get back to me but never has.
My ex told me about a month ago that our friends have no more use for me because for one reason or another they think I was having an affair which led to the divorce. This couldn't be the furthest from the truth. Quite frankly, if they feel this way, why can't they just come out and tell me this themselves? Honestly, who are they to judge me? I didn't have an affair, but even if I did, who are they to judge me? I'm not saying their lifestyle is wrong, but it seems a lot of people judge LGBT because they believe the lifestyle is wrong. I could care less about LGBT lifestyle. They were my friends and that's all that mattered. All I care about is that I thought we all were good friends and I never thought for one moment the friendship was based on whether my ex and I stayed together.
I don't know what to feel anymore. I reflect on the friendship and miss the commraderie we all shared. But then I have to tell myself do I really want to pursue a friendship with someone who is judging me based on what they think occurred?
Thanks for listening. Even if I don't get responses, it helped me to put my feelings down in writing and perhaps doing so will assist in the healing process.
Well, two years ago, my ex and I divorced. After the divorce, one of the gay individuals shared with my son that he would not be comfortable remaining as my friend. He told my son that the friendship would not be same unless the four of us remained together. The gay couple has maintined a friendship with my ex, but they have totally disconnected with me.
After the divorce, I was crushed about them not wanting to remain my friend. Being crushed turned to anger and now I can't say that I feel anything. I contacted one of them a couple months ago only after I learned he had inquired about me. I attempted to bridge the gap and extended an invitation for both of them to visit me in my new home. He said he would get back to me but never has.
My ex told me about a month ago that our friends have no more use for me because for one reason or another they think I was having an affair which led to the divorce. This couldn't be the furthest from the truth. Quite frankly, if they feel this way, why can't they just come out and tell me this themselves? Honestly, who are they to judge me? I didn't have an affair, but even if I did, who are they to judge me? I'm not saying their lifestyle is wrong, but it seems a lot of people judge LGBT because they believe the lifestyle is wrong. I could care less about LGBT lifestyle. They were my friends and that's all that mattered. All I care about is that I thought we all were good friends and I never thought for one moment the friendship was based on whether my ex and I stayed together.
I don't know what to feel anymore. I reflect on the friendship and miss the commraderie we all shared. But then I have to tell myself do I really want to pursue a friendship with someone who is judging me based on what they think occurred?
Thanks for listening. Even if I don't get responses, it helped me to put my feelings down in writing and perhaps doing so will assist in the healing process.