BrokenBladder check in time

[Mark N]

Lisa, I have been missing you again and hope you aren't sinking back down that dark hole. Come on out and let us know how you are doing and if there is anything we can do to help. I know I miss seeing your postings and good advice. I have come to see you as a good friend and don't want to miss helping you out when you really need it. I hope to hear from you soon

[Nana4&cntn]

Lisa,

I second what Mark said. As a long time Sufferer of Depression I know it is best to reach out!! Let us know how you are doing!

Kathy

[ErinENj]

Lisa, Add my voice of concern to Mark and Nana's. I really, really hope that you are doing alright. Please, check in when you have a moment. Just a sentence to say that are okay if you can.

[GardeniaGirl]

Lisa - please check in and let us know how you're doing ---- let us know how long of a rope we need to toss down in the hole so we can pull you out! ;)

GardeniaGirl

[Kathi49]

Lisa,

I ditto what everyone else is asking. Please check in with us!

[BrokenBladder]

I'm here and I'm sorry for making you guys worry. I'm not doing very well with the depression and I do need help from all of you. I'm not really sure how to even begin to explain what's going on with me other than I feel hopeless and I'm tired of living life that's so full of pain, both physical and emotional.

I'm in need of that rope now and I promise if you throw it down to me I will grab on to you guys and hopefully together we can get me out of this dark hole.

[cindybear]

Hi BB,
I so dearly wanted to pm you but Thought I could say what I need to say to you here...I hope, your hole is getting better and you are able to climb out of it...It is no place to be and to stay...Why I try not to go there,,and like you have many reasons to go there but a couple of times was enough to know that I would rather be on this side of the hole and not inside it...I know your bladder pain is GOD awful pain...I just could not imagine...Just like my brain pain is...I try very hard to keep "mE" busy and not think of the "why me" or the other hundred million things that go through my mind at times...I just think it is the most important thing is get a good compassionate pain docter than anything else..They can help you more than anything..BB, just know, that I am here for you and you can e-mail me or pm me...I do not write alot, but I am here...I feel like I do not fit anywhere,,,Aneurysm people- get fixed and go on with there lives (which I am very happy for them ) head pain people really do not understand..???...Chronic pain, has been the only place that has half way acceppted me...So why I stay here..And have been here since 01..But I know it is very hard to understand something that you do not have...But I can put my empathy out there and understand...Hugs, I am here if you need me, HUGS, Cindy

[Kathi49]

Lisa,

I echo what Cindy said and my heart goes out to you. So, the rope is being tossed out to you...just grab on tight and hold on. I can't imagine the bladder pain either. I KNOW what it feels like just to have what I call minor spasms for myself and they are bad enough. But I don't want to drag you down further either. Cindy is right about a good pain management doctor; they do so much more than just the meds and/or injections. My own has several programs and/or outreach type of programs for people in severe pain or who are depressed or who need assistance. Maybe if you found one he or she could refer you to whomever or whatever you may need. Anyway, it is difficult to even describe depression...for me it was just a feeling that wouldn't go away. But it had nothing to do with CP at that time; it was all emotional. And yes, I laid in bed for many, many days. But again, with the right doctor and/or the right meds; you can come up out of that hole. Bless your heart and hang in there.

[BrokenBladder]

Cindy

Thank you for your compassion and understanding. I think in alot of ways I also feel displaced because not too many people understand what IC is much less the constant daily struggles with bathroom issues.

Kathi

Thank you for tossing that rope and trust me I'm holding on. I think one of my biggest problems is that I have never ever been this depressed in my life and therefore I don't know where to turn. I know that I feel like it's easier to just hide myself away, but that's not getting me anywhere either.

I've been thinking since this morning when I read this post that Mark so kindly started. I've been trying to figure out what triggered this and why it has hit me so hard. In the past when I would get depressed I was always able to pull myself out of it and move on, but this time is different. I think a combination of my bladder worsening, my FMS is in a full blown flare, and loads of financial problems have just gptten me down to a point lower than I ever imagined.
I also feel like I've let so many of my friends down on this board. I feel so angry at myself for just hiding out and not letting all of you know that I'm here just not okay. I'm very blessed to have all of you and I'm really sorry for having worried you. I just don't know what else to say except I do love all of you and I do need your help.

[Nana4&cntn]

Lisa,

I am so sorry you have been so depressed!! It is so difficult to pull your self up alone. Have you sought out professional help? There is no shame in doing so. I have been chronically depressed for 25+ years, I also am medicated and starting therapy again in a couple of weeks. This depression is a dark mean and isolating disease. Please pm me if you want additional info on how to deal with it and make it manageable.

Hugs,
Kathy

[Mark N]

Lisa, forget the rope I have jumped down here with you so you can stand on my shoulders and the others can reach you and pull you out. We miss you and care how you are doing. It is difficult to deal with our pain but our lives have so many other things are effected by our conditions. Our incomes are limited while our meds cost isn't limited. We have family members that struggle with our pain and we take on their burdens too as a result. I knew but have found out with my wife' struggles how much I rely on all of you here. When things get bad I turn here first as I know I will be supported and get good advice too.

Starting to open up is the first step out of the hole and I hope you accept the open hands reaching down for you as I boost you up onto my shoulders.

[Jo6]

Lisa dear, I can listen really good, but will talk it someone needs me too.:)

You mentioned your son. My youngest son is facing some bad stuff right now. I won't get into it, but if you want me to write you, I will be glad to.

Of course my son didn't do what was made up to start with. Just be glad you don't live in Ga. I think they make the rules up as they go along.

My heart hurts for you. WE love our kids no matter. It will break a mother's heart.
Please take care, come here when you feel like it, but don't be alone. that one is lethal. Take care, J