Is this stupid?? HELP...:( *sensitive* (Gina)

[LIZARD]

Okay...so I found out from Gina's mom and dad that they had last heard from her over the weekend before she died, and I backtracked and discovered that that last time she and I had talked was Saturday night to Sun afternoon sometime. Her last post was apparently late Sun night, so we're about certain she died Monday sometime, but the cops didn't find her 'til Wednesday afternoon. :(

You have probably noticed my siggy still says the 24th (Wed). I haven't been able to bring myself to change it. Is that dumb?? WTFreak is wrong with me?? :( Anyone ever been through anything like this?? :(

LIZARD, who still can't let go...:(

[Katzi428]

Awwww (((((Liz)))),you don't need to change it! It's not stupid! Hey...in a couple of other forums, I have my dad's birthday & the day he died in my signature.

[Jordan]

(((((((((((((((Lizard))))))))))))))))

It's not stupid; it's grief. Have you thought about getting some bereavement counselling? It may help to talk to someone and realise that all this going over stuff, feeling stuck, complete and utter misery that it all brings - is just part of the process. I'm somewhat lucky in that Alasdair's sister (Alasdair being the love I lost in December) is a cancer nurse and has seen death and the aftercare of the relatives time and time again and has been fantastic in helping me realise that the times when I feel I'm going mad and losing the plot - are normal.
I feel like you do...totally stuck, still bursting into tears every day, frantically trying to memorize everything we last said to eachother, reading and re-reading all the letters/cards/scribbled notes I have from him...it's awful. I hope you have someone else who knew her well you can talk to? How about her family? They'd probably be glad of the memories you have - Alasdair's sister and his identical twin brother both said they can't get enough of that sort of thing.

I really, really feel for you because I know exactly what you're going through. Feel free to PM me anytime you want, even if you just want to rant away. And maybe don't wait to 'get over it'. Maybe we never 'get over it' but just learn how to deal with it and live with it.

Lots and lots of love.

Jordan ******

[LIZARD]

Thanks so much, ladies...and Jordan, I will probably PM you later and take you up on your offer. :o I don't bawl every day anymore, but I do get teary-eyed nearly every day over something about her. Not sure if bereavement counseling is necessary yet, but it's something to consider if it doesn't get better. I have been able to laugh more often, and I do think my severe lack of D is part of the chronic "funk" I have experienced for the past several months. It's slowly getting better, but I know it'll take a long time. I'm hoping getting some real spring weather and more daylight (don't forget to "spring ahead" tonight!) will help some. This winter has been holy hell on me. :(


*hug *hug *hug


LIZARD :)

[ian]

Hi Lizard
its not dum or stupid ... Gina was a on my a friend on my bebo site ... i cant bring myself to delete her from my friends ... no doubt she was ur dearest friend ... keep it on ur siggy .... its ur way of remembering her

[CoolAngel28]

Ian's right,Liz.. *hug sweetie..Kris

[LIZARD]

Thank you so much, both of you, and Ian, I feel so much better knowing that! Thank you!! I don't feel so much like a freak now. ;)


*hug *hug *hug *hug



LIZARD :)

[CoolAngel28]

Thank you so much, both of you, and Ian, I feel so much better knowing that! Thank you!! I don't feel so much like a freak now. ;)


*hug *hug *hug *hug



LIZARD :)


Hey Liz,

You are not a freak..but,you do have a LIZARD identity that you will have to live with.Think ya can handle that??? ;)
Kristin

[LIZARD]

Hey Liz,

You are not a freak..but,you do have a LIZARD identity that you will have to live with.Think ya can handle that??? ;)
Kristin

Yeah. I've had lots of practice. It goes all the way back to high school. :)

*hug


LIZARD :)