Help! Angry family member.

[sunnyslumber]

Hi,

I am a disabled student about 20 or so years old. I'm disabled with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and therefore can't support myself and both be a student w/ any degree of success. One of my parents have a very painful condition, and seems to lash out at any of us (other members of my family) or bait us into long conversations about their condition. This never works because the person just seems to get angry no matter what you say... They often get in my face and threaten to get violent (not just with me), not because I have done anything but because I am in the wrong place at the wrong time. The weird thing is they have a Dr. Jekyl,Mr. Hyde type of personality and can be very nice at times. But you are always afraid they won't be.

Of course it is very tramatic to have to deal with this and my general strategy has just been: avoidance. Is there anything else besides this (and pray) I can do?


Thanks much,


john

[Daisy]

You are going to need to consult with someone about a plan for your future. This person is not likely to change their way and you have a life time ahead of you. I would start by consulting with your physician about what your physical options are either towards a disabiltiy or if that's not an option what types of services you might be eligible for to help you find housing and employment. I check with your city or town and see if they have a local social worker who can put you in touch with local City/Town services as well to find out what you have available to you.

My personal experience is that people like this don't change and the longer you stay with them the more of yourself you lose. It may take you a while to come up with a plan that will give you your independence. The sooner you start planning the better chance you have of getting out.

I'm sorry I missed the student part. I would consult with student services on campus. They often have counselors available and they may be able to coordinate services as part of an intervention to get you the help you need to live on campus.

[sunnyslumber]

Thanks Daisy,:o

It is just frustrating that there is nothing I can do immediately. I'm about to graduate, so then, hopefully I will be able to work enough hours to support myself on my own, but since I'm sick nothing is for certain.

john

[Nana4&cntn]

John, I am so sorry for your situation, and having to be hear. I agree with Daisy. Also, check with a disability specialist at you local Social Services Office they may be able to help you with housing a bit faster depending where you live. Some states are further ahead than others.

Please take care and let us jnow how you are doing.
Kathy

[Nana4&cntn]

are you doing? I know graduation is coming soon and thought I would check in and see how you are.

Kathy

[anzania70]

hey, i know its hard to bear all this, but you have to be little more strong and patient, there is nothing much you can do about it. so stay cool, god will give you strength! take care.

[joy]

i was checking in to write and ask how he is doing. I then checked and noticed john has not been back since feb 12 08 . only hope things improved for him.

[Kelly89]

Honey, I really want to make a comment. When my family wasn't well (2 of them are gone now) someone said to me that I should be complimented that they felt comfortable enough (loved me enough, trusted me enough) to be that miserable with me. It's very hard sometimes. Try to take it as a compliment, as, on some strange level, it is.

However, if they are actually getting violent with you, then things exist that might help, like Anger Management Classes (http://www.angermanagement.net/), baroque music CD's (that calm one down), or even responding kindly by telling them that you love them, despite the fact that they're having this trouble.

All the very best, okay?