Grief

[Worried Grandma]

We lost our girl this sept30 to a brain aneuysm and my husband is totally grief- stricken. She was only 36. She has a brother38 who is putting off getting tested d/t work etc. and etc. Of the 4 grandchildren one has been tested and was o.k. We both just want to sleep a lot. I have a job as a nurse and that helps a lot.My husband is disabled so when I go to work he tends to "shut down" Our faith does sustain us. Any support out there as to how to handle the grief? would appreciate it.
Thanks

[LIZARD]

(((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))). :(

I'm so sorry for the loss of your daughter. I have two kids and can't even fathom it...:(

Have you been to the aneurysm board here yet? I'm sure they can help.

http://brain.hastypastry.net/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=85

Good luck...

LIZARD :)

[Buttons2]

So sorry for your loss. Welcome to BT,great people here. Perhaps your husband could benefit from joining us here? Many other disabled people on BT. If he's home all day I'm sure he could use some cyber friends.

Take care,Buttons

[Chris's mom]

We lost our girl this sept30 to a brain aneuysm and my husband is totally grief- stricken. She was only 36. She has a brother38 who is putting off getting tested d/t work etc. and etc. Of the 4 grandchildren one has been tested and was o.k. We both just want to sleep a lot. I have a job as a nurse and that helps a lot.My husband is disabled so when I go to work he tends to "shut down" Our faith does sustain us. Any support out there as to how to handle the grief? would appreciate it.
Thanks
Hi. I lost my 30 year old son 5 years ago. He had NF2, died from complications from surgery. Was not a total shock as you losing your daughter, but still a shock. From my experience, what your husband is going through is understandable. Everyone finds their own way to survive. Sometimes getting through one day at a time is all I did. It actually hurt to breathe. Going to his grave often helped, although I know that's not where he is. Your husband not working and not having to pull himself together and go out everyday is worse in a way. Better in a way, too as he can give himself time to grieve. I changed jobs a few months after my son died, and went back to school. Was so overwhelmed just trying to survive- I really didn't have the time to work through some of the pain for a long time. Don't want to discourage you - but my grief never goes away. Life goes on and it is good, but the grief is a part of me, as much as my heart beating is part of me. Close friends to talk to; writing my feelings down, just someone willing to talk to me about my son to know he isn't forgotten helps. A father losing a daughter is hard - dad's want to protect their little girl (even grown-up little girls). If you two can cry together; do something in her memory; look at pictures and relive the wonderful memories; find what ever helps the two of you - not what "the books" say you should do. Some of the recovering from grief books have helped me. Some written by people who obviously never lost a child just made me mad. I've always wished I could find a support group for parents who have lost "adult children." What helps me is to realize if I'd never had such a wonderful son, I wouldn't know this pain. And just knowing I had the blessing of being the parent of this wonderful young man makes me know I had more than most parents could ever dream of having. I try to remind my self that for what ever reason, I was the one chosen to live. I wish it had been him chosen to live and not me. But, since I am the one left, it helps me to live my life in a way that I know would make him proud. I went back to school and became a teacher. My Chris would be so proud of his mom. I know your daughter would be proud of both of you. There is a long road ahead - a life without our children. But we're going to make it. I tell my self that every day. To do less would dishonor his memory. I hope this helps. Feel free to respond. If what I've said is totally off track for how you are coping with things, just toss it our and don't think about it again. My prayers - from one parent to another.

[Shanesfight]

I am so sorry for your loss. I have been at the hospital with my son who is 34 for 2 1/2 weeks now. We did almost loose him twice the first 2 days here. The doctors and nurses miraculously saved his life and he is doing ok, but we have a long way to go.

He has an 11 year old daughter who is his biggest driving force.

I'm sure the grief is very hard to deal with as I know how I would be feeling if we had lost our son.

I will pray for your family to find peace and be able to go on living your lives and helping others in their fight.

May God's peace be with you always.

[jess2002]

I am really sorry to hear of your daughter I cannot imagine how you both must feel, I would get your husband to join here as I am sure it would help a little. Jess.***

Again I really am sorry.