how do you feel in general...???

[ThePaintedMan]

i want to know how it is possible to have a good life, yet hate it.
i am married to a beautiful woman that suprisingly enough, loves me more than anything. she is super supportive of me and my 'issues. we talk about everything. we have a nice house, two nice cars, the raddest dog on the planet.

i 'should' be the happiest guy around but i am not. i feel miserable.
i was just recently diagnosed with bipolar and have only been on my meds for about 1 month(a little less).
my wife and i talk about everything. i keep nothing from her.
we don't lie to each other and the marriage is great.

to top it off, the thing i fear the most is death but i can't stand my life.
i feel miserable. i have had a chronic pain issue for more than 10 years due to degenerative disc disease.
i have been dealing with 'head problems' but now after years and years, i have a psych that i like and a medicine regimen that 'should' help me.

i was just wondering how you guys and gals feel in general...
are you happy more often than not? sad more often than not?



i feel l ike my baseline is neutral but over all, i think my life blows.

[houghchrst]

Good Lord you just described my life only I am not married (very long engagement). I also post at the Chronic Pain forum almost everyday. I am still working on meds that should work. I am sick of my life being this way also. Am I happy more often than not. No I would say that I am neutral or miserable, I am never content, unstressed. Am I ever happy, to me happy is cuddling with my child, laughing with my fiance, reading a good book and Funniest Home Videos. It is never a long time state of being. It is little moments here and there throughout my miserable day. I don't recall having a whole day where I was happy. As for crappy days, oh yeah, lots of them. Whole days! But listening to my child laughing, having my fiance tell me I am beautiful, seeing the sun hit the trees just the right way, feeling a cool breeze on a really warm day, a warm fire on a cool night, a really good Stephen King novel. Those are the little things that keep me going. They may be just a couple of minutes throughout a whole crappy day but they are so profoundly good that they make all the crappy stuff worth it.

I hope you keep finding your moments.

[Shadowrose40]

hi

As someone dealing with both bipolar and chronic pain-- I can tell you that you will never control yjr BP without controling jhe CP issues. Iff you don't have a good pai doc, i suggest you find one soon.

Also, BP med take about 6 weeks to kick in fully.

Best of luck. If you are in FL, I can refer you to a great pain Doc.

[ThePaintedMan]

i have a pain doc and we do the best we can with the insurance games we have to play.....
i feel miserable now

[houghchrst]

I am so sorry. What happened? Pain wise, moodwise, both? Is it just one of those gigantic hills we come to in the road or has the med change screwed you up? I hope you get some relief soon.