Need Help-where to ask this?

[houghchrst]

I really need some help with this and am not sure where I should ask about it. My six year old is having some problems with his bowel movements. For a while he was messing in his underwear and I figured it was him not wanting to take the time to go to the bathroom because he was playing so he spent a couple of hours two afternoons in a row on a weekend with nothing on below the waist. I know sounds ridiculously cruel when I say it but he couldn't have cared less and had no mistakes and the problem was pretty much taken care of for a short while after that. A little mishap here and there but nothing major. Well for the last couple of weeks it has been getting worse and worse, to the point where he says he has no idea that he has to go until it has already started coming out. This last week or two has been terrible, he is in the bathroom at least once an hour because I think he is afraid he is going to mess his pants and often doesn't have to go though he has gone a bit in his underwear. At first we would ground him from something but that just made us all miserable and heartbroken then as it got worse I began to wonder if he did it for attention but that is one thing he is not lacking LOL, now it has reached a point where it is seriously distressing for him. His dad must have smelled something and checked and there was a bit of bowel movement in his pants and the poor child was devastated and started crying and said why does this keep happening. He is on his 4th pair of pants today and has only had one major bowel movement yet has been in the bathroom probably 7 times this morning and early afternoon. I plan to call the doctor in the morning and really hope he is in. I think my son holds it all day at school then when he gets home he has to go but I am wondering if he has held it so often that he can no longer feel when he needs to go. I am so afraid this is something serious. He is only 6/7 and I have cried about this on and off for the last week because this has me worried. After the last couple days dad even has come to realize that something is wrong. Does anyone have any ideas what may cause something like this and if not where I can ask?

I know this is long but I thought you may need to see the whole picture.

[spoiledbeth]

It sounds like something you need to talk with his pediatrician about, kids develop at different rates and he might just not have that part of his body developed yet. It's a problem that is more common in boys than girls. It's also why boys are more likely to wet the bed than girls. The pediatrician can give you some ideas of what to try and help him through this time. He just probably doesn't have good muscle control in that portion of his body yet, and it might be something the doc can give you information on.

Beth in MO *butterfly2

[houghchrst]

Thanks Beth, when he was first potty trained he would have the occasional accident but besides that was doing fine. I don't know. Just scared.

[Mark N]

Christina, Take him to see the doctor as planned, other than that there isn't anything advice I can give. Wait and see what the doctor has to say then make a plan from that point on to deal with this. It is unlikely to be a big problem so don't get too worked up about it. I know it seems like a big problem but health wise it isn't likely to be a big problem.

[BrokenBladder]

Christina,

You should take him to the pediatrician but I wanted to tell you something that might ease your mind a bit.

When my sister turned 5, out of no where she started doing the same thing. My mom took her to the pediatrician and then was referred to a bunch of different specialists, including a therapist. All of the doctor's couldn't find anything wrong with her at all. Out of no where when she turned about 12 everything suddenly went back to normal.

She's now 31 and I've ask her if she has any idea why she was doing it. She finally admitted that her stomach would hurt and sitting on the toilet seemed to make it worse so it was easier to just stand and let it go in her pants.

Please try not to worry too much. It maybe something simple and not anything physically wrong with him.

Let us know what the pediatrician says. Take care Christina and things will be okay.

[GJZH]

First, as a teacher I would like to say to you to please stop punishing your son....Your son may be having problems at school or with a friend or children at school that have caused this problem or he might be developing colitis...Try to remain calm about this and do not seem upset...He needs you to remain calm to help him...They know much more about what causes this behavior today ....If your peditrician cannot find the answers, I would certainly make a call to a gastroenterologist immediately as well...one that treats children.

You also might want to talk to the school..Some teachers are unusually cruel about allowing children to go to the bathroom. I would make certain the school knows of this problem and you need to know of their policy about using the bathroom. It just might be that the teacher is not allowing children to go to the bathroom or only allows them to go at certain times of the day...It just might be that he does not need to use the bathroom at that time, but needs to go at another time...I always allowed children to go whenever they needed. I had an open door policy...They did not even need to ask...just take the pass and go...if they did not abuse the privledge, the children could go as often as needed....The children respected this ...but I also taught older children...but this is important for children of all ages....and might be even more important for your son...I will keep your son in my prayers...

[houghchrst]

Except for a couple of groundings on game day and those couple of hours that one weekend at first, there is not much punishment. I can't bear to hurt his sweet little feelings. I feel worse than he does and I know how important, psychologically, that this be handled delicately. I know he is not doing this to be bad or even on purpose. Okay he is hanging on my arm telling me I am the best mom in all the galaxies in space LOL. Now how can you punish that. School is wonderful, he has a great teacher and a lot of friends. I have known teachers that would take the kids outside for recess and then not let them stop at the fountains, or to only use the restroom at certain times but his teacher is wonderful. In fact I think I will email her and ask if she has noticed anything about his bathroom habits. Usually if she notices something off then she says so.

I did find what is called Encopresis which really sounds like what could be going on so I will see what the doc says and then maybe bring it up.

Thank you all for the support.

[911]

wow chris , i'm sorry this shur sounds like a medical issue but i am not a doc so i dunno , i like what was written by GJZH , that aproach sounds like what i would do ?? just wanted to chime in and support you , i know how hard children are ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, Dave ,,,,,,,aka,,,,,,,,,,,911

[houghchrst]

well we are getting into the doc today at 1:30 so hopefully we will find an answer and please pray everyone that is something simple for my little man. Crap now I am crying again. I hate when things happen to children. Hurt feelings, owies anything.

[brians2000]

I dont want to scare you but if his pediatrician doesnt know or doesnt want to do follow up testing you should take him to a Gastrointestinal doctor or a general surgean. I had to have my entire large intestines removed because of a kink in them when I was a infant. I had some of the same problems your son is having when I was a young boy but I learned when I needed to go and Im sure your son will also

[houghchrst]

Geez I thought I had posted what happened at the doc but the rude post on Child Neurology must have thrown me off.

The doc says it is most likely an impacted bowel and we are going to try a week of regular bathroom scheduling and Miralax. If that doesn't work then we will go from there. He is a pretty good pediatrician so I have faith that he will do all he can. My son's teacher said that the only thing she noticed is that he rarely uses the bathroom at school. They are allowed to go when ever they need to but if she is right in the middle of something important she asks if they think they can wait and if not then they are allowed to go. I made her aware of what was going on and made sure my son understood that he is to ask to go shortly after getting there in the morning and after lunch. Doc says not too worry about when he is at school because I really don't have a lot of control there but to make sure we have a regular schedule at home. Hope fully this will take care of it, fingers crossed.

Thanks guys for all of your support.