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View Full Version : New here~my question to all


sunshine11
01-01-2008, 02:58 PM
Hello and Happy New Year!
I'm going to wait to introduce myself with details till later.

I have a question about a very good friend of mine. He's 42, (as am I) and he's married 3 yrs., and has a precious 1 and 1/2 year old. I've known him for
about 4 years. He's kind and caring and very responsible and I've never seen him mad or angry...but I'm curious about a violent incident that happened to him 3 years ago that he just revealed to me the other day.
He's a sole employee at a rental car place...he's often there late and has one mechanic that comes and goes and a boss that takes lots of vacations. So basically, he's the only one there alot of the time. One evening he was waiting for a customer to return a car and it was past closing time. He told me he got robbed while he was alone in the office. He said that two guys came in to the office and held a gun to his head and ordered him to give up all the cash...(he made a bank deposit earlier and had only a small amount in the drawer). They made him lay face down on the floor and repeatedly beat him in the head with the gun and kept asking him where the rest of the money was. This went on for 20 minutes he said, till eventually the guys fled when that customer he'd been waiting for finally arrived. This is all he's told me. I was shocked and asked him if he'd taken time off after this brutal crime and he said no, he went to work the very next day!
Now my question for you is if a person can return the next day to the work ...(this was the 2nd robbery, but the first one he wasn't attacked) is this odd to you? I mean, I told him that if this had happened to me I would have need time to recover. But apparently he just continued back to work the next day, and he even said, who else would there be to work if he didn't go?
Anyway, this is strange to me because I'm concerned for my friend.
Does this mean he'll maybe blow up one day because he's holding it all inside?
I knew him during the time of the roberry but he never told me about it.
Should I just consider him a very strong person (which he is) except that this is a horrendous thing that happened to him but he doesn't seem as affected.
What do you think?

houghchrst
01-01-2008, 05:32 PM
Every body handles things like that differently. Does his wife know what happened? Maybe he went to counseling or something but just did not feel the need to reveal something so personal to you. Maybe he was not injured very badly. Many people are very private when it comes to things like that and if he is just now telling you about the incident that happened that long ago then he may have dealt with the problem but thought it too personal to tell you. Even the best of friends have things they don't tell. If he doesn't seem to be having any problems then I wouldn't bring it up. If he is then I am sure that would be between he and his wife. You may want to bring up your concern to him but I would just let it go after that unless you see something happening that seems not quite in his nature.

Welcome and happy new year.

Buttons2
01-01-2008, 09:26 PM
Welcome to BT,we need all the sunshine we can get!

About your friend,I agree we all react differently to trauma. I wonder why he just now saw fit to mention this to you?

There is a condition called Post Traumatic Stress Disorder,that would be the only thing I could come up with that might be causing him to speak now.

Can we assume he did have to discuss this with the police & his boss? Is there any chance he made all this up? Sometimes we just think we know someone-when in reality we do not!

You didn't mention his background,perhaps violent robberies had happened so much he was immune to it? I agree this strange,but I'd try to just let it go.

sunshine11
01-02-2008, 02:07 AM
Thankyou Christina and (sorry don't have your name): Buttons,
Really good advice, I'll do just that and leave it alone because he seems so "together" that me bringing it up isn't necessary, only for my own curiosity.
Funny you should mention him making it up...a friend I told this too said the same thing today... you never really know a person, even when you think you do.
As far as PTSD, he isn't showing signs at all, and is able to just bring it up...maybe to get a response from me, I don't know. But to go to work the very next day after taking a gun beating is just unbelievable except if it was a regular thing around him in his life...don't know and I'll leave it alone.

Thanks for the welcome. When I get done putting my son to sleep I'll try to come back and write a more formal intro...
Happy New Year~
I can't promise more sunshine but I'll certainly give it my best :)