Learning how to deal with my brother's TBI

[Amandad1321]

My oldest brother got hit by a motorcycle on September 15th of this year trying to save a dog from getting hit by a car. He was hit on his left side rolled and landed and hit his head. He had massive bleeding and was dead at the scene the revived him. He spent about a month in the hospital...mind you this is both ICU,the regular hospital room and rehab. We know he should have been in longer.
But until we can get him some help to get back into a rehab program we get by. There are many days that are better than others. He tries his best. He wants so much to live a a normal life but has a hard time communicating and usually just ends up walking around in sort of a daze. It's so hard to see him go through this. I hate when I end up talking to him like he's a little kid. I know he knows something is different about him but he really doesn't realize it yet. It's just hard . A lot of this still seems so unreal. Anyone else have any advice or ways to talk to him ?:confused:

[debhun]

Well I can tell you that it is a very long road. He knows what he wants to say but it will not come out the way he wants. Don't push him to try and remember what he wants to say. He will just give up and get mad. Let it go then come back in few. This gives him time to do his own thinking. He know he has been hurt but will not remember what happen to him.

A good thing is flash cards with pic like a boat cat etc. Have him to go thought this. It sound dumb but it is not. he has to let his brain learn to pick up things again. It has been a few year when my hubby had his skull broke like a spider web. It was back in 1997 he still has troubles. My aunt just had a stroke in march of this year. She still has trouble with words. I will talk to the both of them and see what besides flash cards.

Deb

[Amandad1321]

yeah when he is well rested he doesn't mix up words as much and quite often will stop for a second then correct himself. Yes he does have quite a long road ahead of himself. He's doing great considering they told us he should be dead.

[seanreit]

These guys have a lot of hope to offer:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=oi2KkqVwE-I

[Amandad1321]

that does give us a lot of hope thank you for sharing that with me. :)





These guys have a lot of hope to offer:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=oi2KkqVwE-I

[tooncesthecat]

Your brother might need more structure in his day. Perhaps you can create a schedule of sorts which might include such things as simple chores, leisure activities, rest breaks, etc.

[crunchy5]

Has he had testing to determine areas he may have trouble with, i.e weirnke's aphasia, and it would probably help him to talk to a counselor familiar with tbi. It sounds like he's stuck, and may need some help greiving. Remember, it's the ones we are close to that get hurt. The anger and frustration are perfectly normal. That energy, however could be of better use learning to cope i.e. compensatory strategies.
Mike

[crunchy5]

I survived a tbi, GCS 4 and a broken neck, in 93.
Got my BS in psychology in 99, my CBIS in 02, my COTA in 03. I'm new to the board and still feeling my way around. So far, I LIKE!
crunchy5

[Shown]

My husband suffered his first TBI on October 15, 2005 and then again in May 2006. It has been a long road, days have been really tough, days have been really good.

How do we deal with his memory and speech, patience is the only way I can describe it. As long as he is not rushed or under pressure he is fine. I let him know that it is okay to not remember. He gets a kick out of the way I describe his brain now, I tell him that his Sparkies are Misfiring. That is exactly what is happening just like spark plugs in a car, your brain sends out all of the signals and now they are misfiring on him.

My hubby and a dear friend from the Chat frustrate me though because they say that they are stupid now, I remind them that the knowledge they had prior is still there is just has a hard time making it to the surface now.

I notice with hubby though if he is trying to say something and forgets if I go back and just tell him what the conversation was prior to that sometimes he remembers not always but sometimes.

I cannt even begin to imagine what it must be like for him now, but I let him know all the time that it is okay, as long as I can reach out and touch him it is okay we can get through the rest.

I try and control his stress level and things that would stress him as much as possible, but he does not live in a bubble and sometimes that is difficult.

All I can tell you my new friend is PATIENCE!

Shown

[Kevin Jackson]

Something I found in my study of my delima as a man. We still want to feel in control. Wanting that respect we felt, we constructed before the head injury. Even when we get up in the morning we go in to that mode. 9 times out of 10. After about an hour or two after we wake, we feel we need to go back to bed. Mental overload. Then the defence mode kicks in. mood swings easyly angered/adjutated. No one wants to say I'm sick in the head. Or treated any differant, but we are. To a lesser or greater degree. And those loved ones we see everyday we still try to prove were who we where in the pass.
Too thoses of you that fall in this catagory. Those loved one understand their a glich in the main frame. Theirs no need to prove anything to theses people. But its in us.Old habits are hard to change.
I left 5 Steps on my post. That I think will be usefull in a more vitale day to day life style. Of course tweak it to suit you. But the basics will work.