Asperger Syndrome and Eye Contact

[Salsa]

I posted this question on the Asperger Syndrome board, but it doesn't get very many replies, so I'm posting it here too.

~Salsa
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A student in our ECE (early childhood education) probably has Asperger Syndrome. (Tip toe walking, poor social skills/very self-centered in comparison to other students his age, seemingly no empathy, likes to rock and shake his hands in the air, talks but in an odd tone of voice (high pitched & inappropriate inflection), repeats things he hears), doesn't like to be touched, poor eye contact), to name a few.

I'm wondering if anyone can help me with this, though. When talking to him, I'm careful to get his attention but I am not sure, when doing this, if it is good to make eye contact (which he avoids) or look off a bit so that he is not as uncomfortable.

Also, any ideas to help at nap-time. He gets really loud (seldom naps) and has woken up other kids several times.

[peglem]

Well, I'd ask his parents about the eye contact- they probably know his preference the best. I guess I'm a little confused- how do you make eye contact if he doesn't? Maybe this will help: The reason autistic people don't make eye contact is because it doesn't aid in communication for them. For NT's- eye contact is is part of the communication- it helps us to understand better. Not so for autistic people. But, If he doesn't make eye contact with you- how would he know to be uncomfortable with you looking at him?

Since preschool, my daughter has had an "eye contact" objective on her IEP...It always gets marked as "slow progress" on her report cards. Yah, I'd say 10 years on that objective is mighty slow progress. The thing is nobody is trying to teach her how to use eye contact for communication. She'll do it on cue, but until it serves some function for her (other than making the cue-er go away) she won't incorporate into real life.

As far as the nap goes- you will not be able to get him to nap unless he's very tired (although my kid seems to get more hyper when she's tired). So, what can he do during naptime to keep him quietly busy? What things does he find soothing or calming? That's what I'd be looking at.

[tgrimes]

Wow, that's a really good explanation, peglem. I wonder if you could ask him "do you know what color my eyes are?" then if he goes right to look, that means it's not uncomfortable, so you shouldn't worry about looking into his eyes.
Geez, now that is really politically correct, worrying about whether it's okay for YOU to look into his eyes... shows real respect.
Now see, I would have already asked that kid " (name) , should I look over there when I talk to you, or into your eyes?"
Knowing full well I could expect the anwer "....eyes..." :)

[Mother's Heart]

could he have something that is scheduled for him outside of the classroom during naptime?

Even 'quiet' activities (like watching a video) are noisy, movement times for us. perhaps coloring? might not work to do that in the same room with other kids who are being expected to nap. not fair.

how about helping him lie down under a weighted blanket or bean bag and an adult sitting nearby to cue him to remain in place if he starts to jump up? have you asked an O.T. for suggestions? How about music in earphones?

I really don't know if you can keep his sound level down. Have you paid attention to other times when he might be quiet? Is he ever quiet? what is happening then? Is he doing something? Somebody else doing something? What about looking at something very interesting, like maybe a light up toy? working legos? a jigsaw puzzle? Have you given him a fidget thing to mess with in his hands? (would he throw that?)

Just brainstorming.

[Salsa]

What I mean is that he avoids making eye contact. If I try to make eye contact with him, he looks away.

Communication with Mom is not the best. She seems to feel that there is nothing unusual about her son. :(

I'd love to use a weighted blanket but that seems to be a no go. I've suggested it a couple times-- but I'm an aide, not the head teacher. I've rubbed his fingers (the web of the fingers) and have tried something similar to (mild) joint compression with his hands/fingers. That helps him calm down for the time being, anyway.

He does better when given alternate things to do but his attention span is fairly short. His loud voice and running around in the room during naptime is a real problem, though. It has helped-- sometimes. Haven't found any sort of reward/s that help any to reinforce acceptable behavior either. :(

I have brought in some headphones with a radio in it. I've only tried the white noise so far, though. I've tried a squeezy for him to hold, but he's thrown that. :(

Salsa

[peglem]

So, no IEP? I'm sorry, I assumed you were talking about a special needs preschool. Too bad mom is in denial, the child could probably benefit from sensory integration therapy (for 1). I hope he is at least getting some speech therapy. So, now it seems like the problem at naptime is you can't find a reinforcer more powerful than what he gets by running around making lots of noise. What was very calming for my daughter at that age was swinging. But she was in a special needs preschool that had a swing. Wish I had a cut and dried answer for you, but what you need is an alternative behavior/activity that will meet the same need as what he's doing.

I'm wondering what happens if he is given a negative consequence for this behavior? Its hard to tell sometimes how much is stuff they really can't help doing (need to do) and how much of it is just doing whatever he can get away with. Sometimes it helps to just say "The rule is...." ...we stay on our mats at naptime, ....we are quiet at naptime. After he's heard that ad nauseum, then you can ask him what the rule is at naptime. I'm saying sometimes this works because sometimes autistic kids get kinda obsessive about rules...but not always. It may help if he always knows exactly what's expected of him. Don't assume that he knows- he doesn't have social framework and doesn't pick up on cues that his peers do. Like when I was teaching, most kids if they'd start fooling around I could just give them a look and they'd get back on task, or I could just go stand next to them and they'd straighten right up.

Gee, I just don't know how helpful this has been. God bless you for working so hard with this little boy and trying to understand him...and respecting him. I hope you find some good strategies and I hope if you do, you'll share what worked with us here...

[Kristen (ColeysMom)]

He sounds kinda like Coley...

I'm interested in the answers you have to Pegs questions.

Coley could care less about rules, and very little about what others are doing. And rewards/praise just NEVER worked & still don't. OMG! ABA attempts were pretty comical! Also he is VERY loud and hyper.

Having said that, what helped him a lot was music. I've also used meta music with him.

I wonder how your little guy sleeps at night??? Coley didn't sleep well at night, so naptime went well, sometimes too well...like 6 hours worth...so I wonder if maybe he needs a bit less sleep at night so he'll get tired at nap time???

What about tuckering him out, do you have an area to run him down???

Anyhow, you may want to try classical music and try to get him to just sit still and listen to it in the earphones. If that doesn't work, do you think you could have a radio in the class playing light classical while everyone naps.

I have a feeling he will sit still to listen to it though. Coley hated the head phones so we had to be strategic about the speaker placements in his room...but once the music was in stereo for him, it caught his attention and he stopped and listened. He's still a HUGE music fan...these days he likes jazz.

I feel terrrible about the mom...I have a friend whose SIL is in denial and I just feel so sad for the child...they both could be getting so much help that they aren't! I don't really know the protocol for something like this, but is there some sort of obligation on the schools part to communicate these types of observations to the parents and suggest an assessment or anything??? If so I would assume that should come from the lead teacher...what does s/he have to say about all this?

Ya know, sometimes I think doing nothing works better...I don't really know all that you are up against here, but I wonder if just constantly reporting the bad nap-time behavior, as well as the other things (while you do nothing to assist really) to the mom wouldn't help drive the point home so that more appropriate services could be given, ya know?

What is ECE? Is that like Early Intervention or something else? Why is he there if he isn't special ed? I'm kinda confused.

But I'm wondering if you are a program where he could be kicked out for not being manageable...not that I'm suggesting that, but I wonder if that worry would get the moms attention.