Mother's Helper

[Mom2Ava]

Anyone ever hire a mother's helper? How do you go about doing this?

Ava has therapy 5 days a week, each day seeing two different people. It is a bit exhausting at times. I am running on reserves and struggling to keep up with my other responsibilties.

Any thoughts?

Thanks guys,

Jen ( AKA jjbeck)

[Denae]

We haven't ever had a "mothers Helper" so no help here...


I don't know if it would be an option with Ava or not, but sometimes just taking a little bit of time off (a week of "vacation") helps. We have had to do that with Riley, we both got burnt out.

I hope that you are able to find someone to help you out.

((hugs))

[VirginiaNC]

Hi, When James was younger, about 4...I also wanted a mothers helper...but figured out pretty quickly, I could not afford it. I was so stressed out, I decided to take a vacation from all appointments for one month. After the month was up, I saw such an improvement in James' attitude...I cut all appointments back to once a week. When I began to feel run down and too stressed again, (James never enjoyed his OT, he sometimes enjoyed PT) we cut back to one appointment per week. James is now 8 and we only see our physical therapist when we need equipment. Not being seen by a therapist for 45 minutes per week has not hurt him physically and has really improved his self esteem and Mom is alot more relaxed now. He's probably improved physically ..because we have more time each day to stretch and play. Our appointments were a 2 and 1/2 hour round trip each time...too long for any toddler to be in a vehicle every day! So good luck with the mothers helper and follow your momma heart, it knows what your child needs more than any doctor or therapist will ever know. 5 days of appointments is alot for any one to handle, patient or caregiver. Thats a full time job in itself!

[just laurie]

When I needed a mother's helper while dh worked out of state and I'd just given birth to my fourth child, I used a neighborhood teen. But I just needed someone to play with the girls while the boys napped and/or nursed and I napped and showered.

If you're needing more than that, you might consider posting something at a local college--especially in the home ec or education departments.

Also, if there is a church which has a MOPS program or a parent's day out program, they may have some leads for the people they hire for their programs.

Another resource might be your local senior citizens center. There are many seniors who are physically and mentally in great shape but have retired and have some spare time. I know one of my friends had a "grandpa" who took her son to some of his therapies while she was at work.

Hope you quickly find someone who fits the bill for the level of help you need.

Laurie

ETA If one of the responsibilities you are having trouble keeping up with is keeping the house clean, you might want to see what it would cost to have someone come in once every week or two to do the major stuff. When we were taking care of my MIL, we had someone do the bathrooms and floors. That was huge because those are the hardest to do with lots of little ones and not much time. Besides, I hate cleaning:).

[Mom2Ava]

Tanks guys. yes, I am jus looking for someone to play with Ava from time to time and maybe go on doctors appts with me. AND... is we ever get up the nerve to travel or vacation, someone to go with us then too.

Don't want to place an ad, too many crazys out there. I have thought of going to high schools or the Red Cross.

Wondering, how much do you typically pay this type of help?

[Mom2Ava]

Oh ... what heaven it would be to have someone come in once a week to clean!:D

[CoolAngel28]

Oh ... what heaven it would be to have someone come in once a week to clean!:D

Now that's what I call real help..:D By the way,Ava is a cute name..

[just laurie]

Oh ... what heaven it would be to have someone come in once a week to clean!:D

I tell you, I am missing that now. I really, really, really dislike cleaning!

The Red Cross does those baby sitter certification classes, so they may have a list. Also, many high school home ec departments teach child development courses for which the students do a preschool. The teacher will often keep a list of baby sitters from that.

You never know with baby sitters. Once we had one from a local college who was an el ed major. You would've thought she would be great, but she wanted to sit on the couch and tell my kids (2,4, and 6 at the time), what to do. The 6yo desperately wanted her attention so was a little pill. The sitter quit seconds before we fired her. We replaced her with a 13yo who brought bags of crafts, made individualized coloring books for the kids, and never quit playing with them. She is our sitter to this day!

Starting out with being in a different part of the house while they are with your child turned out to be a great idea for us. That is how we figured out the college student had no clue and how we figured out the 13yo was the cat's meow (she was my mother's helper when dh was out of state).

Good luck! It sure soundl like you deserve a break at least as much as you need one.

Laurie

[wheeliebird]

Check with your local UCP they may be able to help you. I know most UCP's have respite care services. From what your explaining sounds as though they may be able to help you.

Good Luck,

Robin

[hunterjjumper]

Also check with any local nursing schools, as sometimes the students are looking for work, even sometimes a place to stay in exchange for helping out, and it is great to have some one with an interest in medicine.

Tammy, Mom to Helen 5, Hydro, VP shunt, CP, seizure disorder, Jill 10 seizure disorder, Evan a 13 yo smart alec.

[Tracy Sheppard]

I was going to suggest also contacting your local High School and colleges, and also trying your local ARC and UCP and churches. Good luck, hope you find what you are looking for.
Tracy

[Mom2Ava]

Thanks guys, Hadn't even thought of the UCP.

[JackHenry&Emma]

I have use college students in the past. I have them hang out with the kids and I do house work. My dh teaches psychology so most of my helpers are psych or elem ed majors. I pay $10/hour. It gets expensive but sometimes I really need it. I would love to use one now but Emma doesn't like strangers.

Julie

[langansmom]

We had a nanny for a while, but it is very expensive. There are services that screen people for you and set up interviews. If that's something you have the resources to do, I am sure there is a service in your area. We were able to choose full time or part time, they had live in and not, you could even choose whether youwanted them to also do any cleaning. At the time, we had a non-live-in full time nanny but we didn't want her to clean b/c we wanted her focusing on Langan. Part time may be more reasonable in price. We never looked at that b/c of our work situation. Our nanny was with us for 3 years and is still a close friend. But, like I said, it was a big hit in the pocket.

Another idea is to check at a local college, especially if they have an education school. Langan's preschool is affiliated with Vanderbilt's education department, and we see signs up all the time advertising Special Ed Masters students willing to work part time with the kids. I am sure it is much cheaper than a nanny service, and I would think SE grad students would be a good choice. Just wanted to throw that out there as an option.

Hope you find what you're looking for!

[mama sue]

Do you have a respite care facility there? Good luck dear......you need a break :)