british soldier needs help controling anger!!

[tburge85]

hi my name is tom, and i have a problem with anger.
i call it flashing, when i get so coiled up inside i snap. my wife gemma is amazing i love her with all my heart but unfortunetly it is her that i take it out on. i know what your thinking anouther squadie wa**er. your right, gemma doesnt desver to be treated like this.

it has only surfaced within the last 2 months since i returned from a 6 month deployment to basrah, iraq. we suffered losses and casulaties. had enough close calls myself to the point where all my nine lives where taken and i was waiting for "the one". it wasnt the shooting or the possibility of roadside bombs it was the rockets. throughout the tour we had 750 incomming rockets and mortars, (the rockets being the main cause of loss of life and injury) 9 roadside bombs and 2 major battles with the insurgents.

i have now been posted off the sqaudron due to time served there and am now in a great quiet training job in east anglia (still in the military).
i am enjoying it very much but the quality of my marriage is decaying and it is because of me, my quick temper and failure at being able to deal with simple things quietly, easily and with out anger is putting great stress on us.

i dont know what kind of replys i will recieve to this post, and im not sure what i can get out of it, i just needed to vent out to someone.

thanks for reading. tom

[Cry Tears]

Thanks for fighting and protecting your country.
Sounds like you have PTSD...Post traumatic stress disorder, or something like that.
All the stress and horrible things you went thru then has been couped up inside you...now that its "safe" to blow up or react to the trauma, your wife is the one who is "safe" to show the emotions you've held up inside you.
I'd urge you to seek some serious counceling...
YOU don't deserve to have these ugly feelings well up inside you and your dear wife doesn't deserve this either.
PTSD comes out in many forms.
Could be anger, rage, drug or sex addictions, gambling or just about any compulsion used to "medicate" self so won't have to think about the traumatic events.

I have PTSD from what happend to me when I was younger...I was kidnapped, drugged and raped when I was 14 years old.
Was very traumatic event for me.
I wasn't allowed to tell and my mother forced me to keep quiet.
Years later this boiled over inside my inner soul and damaged my immune system.

That is why I urge you to go into therapy...anyone who's gone thru what you have will benefit greatly from being able to talk and let it all out.
Years ago there was a plane crash in San Diego, Calif...over 250 people were aboard...all killed and bodies strewn over several mile area.
The police and disastor workers had to help clean up the mess and literally pick up the peices.

Months, even years later, those who "helped" pick up the bodies suffered terribly from PTSD...
2 committed suicide...the carnage was unimaginable and affected those who hard a part in helping.

Is not safe to withold these traumas inside you, needs to be "let out" so you can handle life much better and
stop the anger and rage eating away at you and your wife.

Medication may also help you thru this time as well.
Keep venting...lots of people here are willing to "talk" you about this.
You shouldn't suffer longer, you deserve to be free of this burden.
Blessings, Cheryl

[clouds z]

hi tom

good luck
it must be hard
coffee maybe makes me angry

is it post traumatic stress disorder?

im not a doctor so i dont know what to say really

[houghchrst]

Welcome Tom and yes thank you for putting your life on the line. I am really sorry that you and your family have to suffer because of it. Most definitely seek counseling, your wife too so that she may gain an understanding of what is going on with you. You both can learn how to deal with this and find a way to live happy. Good luck and let us know how you are doing.

[LuvMKISA]

Bumping. I'm looking for info on this too.

Tom how are things going for your now? (I have my own soldier i'm concerned about)

[LuvMKISA]

Deleted, double post.