sudden overwhelming anger

[spinnymommy]

I usually (well I did until the web site crash) post in the traumatic brain injury section, but I felt that since anger (and rage) is such a big part of my life since my injury,
it would be appropriate to post here.

Ever since I got hurt, I have unexplained anger crop up on me. I just get sooo
mad. Look out world.

I have started running into a room by myself when this happens and just yelling and crying and cussing until I calm down. If anyone tries to follow me I SCREAM at them to stay away. (I never used to be this way)

This works well at home, but in public it is more difficult.

I don't mean to go on and on. If it is inappropriate for me to post in this section, please let me know.

Spinnymommy

[trekker]

Dear Spinnymommy,

Your anger is certainly understandable for several reasons.

Anyone who has an injury or disease where their bodies no longer function as they used to, and that no longer respond to brain signals that you try to send has to be one of the most frustrating experiences a human can go thru.

If you also have problems with the brain itself piled onto the physical limitations, there is additional reasons for emotional blow ups. And worrying about public blow ups is just another stress piled on to the many you already have.

Add everyday stresses and you have a recipe for explosions (have had a few myself just from stress).

There is also the possibility that you have unresolved anger from what caused your injury, and what you have had to go thru to recover. The injury itself could be in a part of the brain that affects the normal controls that we use for anger management. This may be something you might want to explore. Can you find an anger management class somewhere in your area? If you contact your doctor you might be able to get him to prescribe a class so that your insurance might cover the cost...just another therapy that you might need so to speak. Maybe they could help you come up with a way to deal with your emotions when in public at least.

By all means, come here to vent when you need to.

[spinnymommy]

Thank you so much for your reply.

It is good to have somewhere where I can talk about this without
fear of being judged. I think you may be right about many of the
reasons for my anger. I know the brain injury itself has caused some
of it, and my neurologist has prescribed large doses of vitamin B6 for that,
and my anti-convulsive drug (I also have epilepsy as a result of my injury)
also helps he says.

And after I started the vitamin, it really seemed to help a lot. At least
in frequency.

I hadn't thought about anger at my whole physical situation and the cause
of the injury. It probably has a lot to do with this.

Anger management classes are not an option for me.
For one, I can't drive. But the main reason is that because of
my injury I can't handle being in groups, and if I try, I cannot understand
what is being said because of over stimulation.

Trying to face my feelings about my stupid brain and all my stupid issues resulting from it not working right is probably what I need
most now. Thank you for mentioning it.

Kerin

[joy]

Hi Kerin. Welcome. I checked your first post carefully to see if you had any mention of seizures and you did not mention it. I noticed that you did in the second. I checked because my daughter has seizures and is on an anti-convulsive drug, sometimes two at a time. I think that in itself causes her to have more of an anger problem than she use to have. But well worth it if it helps prevent more seizures. You might check to see if this is a side effect of your drug. Post anything you want. If it does happen, the regular posters are good to help point out that we are meant to be a supportive forum, not critical.

[Cry Tears]

Hi to both Kerin and Joy.
1st of all...Kerin...don't berate yourself about your brain injury...you didn't ask for it....and must deal with this terrible challange...I can only imagine what a trail this must be for you...also not being able to drive because of this. I'd rather have you as a freind ....who's honest enough to write about it, than be freinds with a person who has no sympathy for others and hides their flaws. Every single person on this earth has some sort of flaws...some have more visable flaws...some are able to hide them well.
No one can understand pain and suffering unless they've been through it.
God has a lot to say about those who suffer infirmities....that He's is closer to their hearts.
But gosh....I get angry at Him because He doesn't magically make me all better and take my pain away.
My anger isnt visable...I turn mine inward...this is why I have Crohns disease, it goes straight to my gut! Its anger turned inward.
I'm having some inward turmoil...thinking of my family who has taken to shunning me for the last 4 years....broken my heart. I have been clenching my jaws....almost breaking my teeth...and hurting my jaw muscles.
Its called passive agressave.
A councelor likened it to having a huge dog climb up and lick your face, while he's peeing on your legs! So my anger isn't visable...no one knows but me.
It would be better if I did scream, yell and run to my room...instead I go shopping...buy worthless junk, filling my house up with too many things...and no room left to store it all.....I swear...I'm going to end up on Oprah show if I dont get a handle on this.

Joy...you wrote a few weeks ago that you had some health challenges...are you doing better? can you share whats going on?
You can PMme if you'd rather....that sharing on open forums.
Thanks for your response to my past posting,,,,at least I know I have a few cyber freinds!
Gotta run....sew some jammies for a gift for BD party granmonkey is going to tonight....gosh....I better get going.
Blessings to you both....Cheryl

[spinnymommy]

Crytears,

Do you play any sort of musical instrument? That can help get the supressed anger out.
How about dancing - even if you are no good. That can help too.

Running has always helped me (although if I do it now, I'd get lost)
Really, exercise, especially one that has a strong rhythm to it can help get
it out instead of keeping all of it inside. At least, it helps me when I am willing to get off of my rear end and do it.

Joy,
If certain parts of the brain are damaged, it can cause difficulty or inability
to control emotions including anger. Seizures can cause damage to the
brain. Your child's anger could be caused by damage rather than the meds.
I guess this isn't encouraging to either you or me, but I thought I'd share
the information. I find I'd rather be informed than in the dark.
(my anger problems were actually worse before I started my seizure med)

Kerin

[joy]

Hi Kerin. I'm glad you are still posting. Thanks for the information, I'm always searching for anything that might help with my daughter's problem. I am glad your medications help you some with your anger. Hers really did get her into a lot of trouble that night because of the head of mental health was on duty and her dumb husband could not just say, she has seizures and leave it at that. Bunch of stuff happened that should not have and she is worse off now because of it. Unfortunately when you are in the middle of a spell, seziure or whatever is going on, you are not able to speak up on your own behalf well enough. And so it goes on for now. Keep us informed if you don't mind as to how you are doing. Just hearing some good news about someone else can lift my spirits up enough to keep hoping. ;)

[Cry Tears]

Crytears,

Do you play any sort of musical instrument? Kerin

Hi Kerin....Yes....I do play the piano...also used to play the pipe organ,but thats pretty hard to do...took years of lessons.
My piano is way downstairs and I've hardly touched it.
Last week I did play a few numbers in front of large audience....was at the nursing home doing elder care....during lunch. It was embarrasing missing keys, playing wrong notes...ug! But they enjoyed it....thats all that matters.
Two of my kids are very musically talanted, so their music lesson became the focus while mine took a back burner.
I don't feel well enough to persue playing again....although there's nothing more that I love than the pipe organ. I used to bring down the "house" when I could play at a church that had a real pipe organ...open up all the bellows and deep pipes.....its very tricky to play as there is a time delay....what you play on the keys comes out later....you can't stop to listen to what notes you're playing else you get confused. And this is nothing I could handle today, so I'll have to stick with the electronic kinds....gosh, I'm not making sense....am in horrible pain from the root canal I had on Monday.
Hope your day goes well. Cheryl

[brians2000]

My name is Brian. I don't have any major Anger problems, I have always seemed to hold most anger in plus I am one of these type people to always worry if I offend any. A few years ago I did start taking an antidepressant/Anxiety medication because I did sometimes get mad because of chronic pain associated with my spine problems and other medical problems. I would get upset trying to work while in pain and sometimes I could feel myself get upset. My doctor told me alot of anxiety/depression comes from the chronic pain of not being able to do what I did years ago. Anyway I did not mean to talk about my problems because my emotions never flare anymore but I was wanting to ask about my lifelong best friend. Although we have always been best friends he has a major anger problem. He blows up at everything but me. He fights with his brother like they are going to kill each other and I have also watch him get angry with his lady friends. I have mentioned he may need some type of medication for his anger. Funny thing is me and him never have angry words toward each other. We really are best friends but I fear one day he may hurt someone or get hurt himself. When we were teenagers he had an OCD where he washed his hands continually and he would go back and check if he locked a door over and over. He has know grown out of that, I believe but he still gets into rages at the slightest things. Kevin my friend came from a broken home with an alcoholic father so I believe that could have contributed to his anger. Kevin himself is now an recovering alcoholic at the age of 36. A few months ago he meet this very loving lady who is also a big christian. He seems happier now than he ever did and he told me last week they have never had angry words toward one another. Sorry if I am rambling on but I just fear that one day he will turn back into an angry man and that will cost him is well paying job and his relationship with his new girlfriend. Do you think his past has something to do with his anger and is there anything I can do to help him without making him mad at me. Kevin has no physical problems and he keeps in great shape running and working out but he does have emotional issues. Anyway it was nice meeting everyone in this forum. I usually post in the Chronic Pain or spinal Disorder forums but from time to time I like to meet new people in subjects that interest me. Thanks, Brian

[potatobug]

Hi Kerin hello everyone-

I can relate to the overwhelming feelings of rage you are experiencing.I have been dealing with bipolar disorder and anxiety( or schizzoaffective disorder depending on who's diagnosis is on deck at the time,)For more than 20 years now and have been on medication for most of those years.I often have unexplicable episodes of rage, where I need to get away from everyone near me, I fear I will hurt someone at times,most often myself.I have cut myself, I have thrown things I scream;This is philosophically against all I believe in(I have been practising Buddhism for a few years now,as well as other spiritual ventures)and I am often appalled at myself(again against my practice.)

What I am trying to express is that the rage anger frustration whatever it is labeled,is destructive, and also so difficult to get a handle on.For myself, I meditate daily(when I am feeling more clear)and practice yoga on a daily basis as well.Sometimes I also do some form of martial art or tai chi.Even with these preventative measures, I still often find myself in the grips of a nightmarish rage which then leads to panic and other results.I try to use the most homeopathic remedies especially being that I am seven and a half months pregnant, such as lavendar and sage, as well as tepid baths with eucalyptus oil and epsom salts.These remedies often work but for some reason, the panic and rage still sometimes takes over.

Again, I am truly sorry for your pain and suffering, I hope I didn't go on too much about my own experience, I just want to illustrate that I understand,and feel a little of the same of what you must be experiencing.

Wishing you the very best, and sending good vibes your way-

be well.

Patty

[joy]

Welcome Patty. Glad you found us and congratulations on expecting a little one. I adopted mine so will wait with you if you don't mind ;) ! Do you have any other chidren and do you know the sex of this one? Sorry for being so nosy :o but it's an excitement I missed out on. If you don't want to answer, that's ok but did want to welcome you.

[potatobug]

Hi Joy-

I have a two year old daughter, this baby is a boy.I recently got out of the hospital-Ill post more on that later-so I havent been to any boards til today.Not feeling that great-

Patty

[joy]

hi, potatobug. I started a new post asking about you. Look for it ok.

Hope everyone else is doing ok. If not, let us know if you want. I find writing about things helps me.