good and bad :-)

[bluesky63]

Hello. I usually post on the MS board. So you folks don't really know me. But . . . hello. :-)

I wanted to share with someone that I was excited that I just learned my local MS Society is going to honor me with an award at their annual dinner later this month. It's for being an extra good volunteer, because I have joined the local disability board as a citizen rep and am trying to help with disability issues.

The "bad" part, which makes me feel honestly pathetic, is that while I am excited, I don't have other people to share the excitement meaningfully. Unfortunately one of the effects of being disabled for years has been increasing isolation. I am fortunate that there is one friend, and I am lucky to have children, although they are so young they don't understand or care much, but overall my world is small.

I posted on the MS board last week when I won a photo contest and I felt silly because only three people replied, so I don't want to risk posting another thing thta is a very big thing in my rather small life and having it go thunk.

So I figured if I posted it here, in the official emotional support forum, perhaps someone would officially say, yes, it actually is exciting to be honored.

I'm cringing at the thought that they might expect us to bring friends and family.

I hope that doesn't sound like self-pity. It isn't. It's just a fact. I used to have a rich, vibrant life full of children and friends, and the combination of moving into a new community, being disabled, and separating from my husband has changed my world completely.

Enough. I came here with the impulse to share -- I sat here thinking, I want to call someone, but there's no one to call -- so I am writing to all of the invisible computer people instead. Isn't technology amazing. :-)

[joy]

Why hello bluesky. I am glad you shared with you. It is an honor. I suspect that on the MS board that 3 was a good number maybe because they hhhave a lot of things to? well don''t know just what I'm aiming at but that maybe everyones' lives are filled with how to live it and not much else. This place is not as big as it once was also I don't think.

In any case I am glad you shared with us and it is heartfelt. Will you come back and tell us all about it? I once shared e-mails or pm's don't remember which with a woman that was also called blueskies and I was beginning to think it might be you until you said your children were young. She had a beautiful older daughter around 17 or so and sent me a picture of her and some of her friends once. I lost contact with her and have always regretted that I did.

I understand all to well that feeling of having no one much to share things with. Having disabilities and having to stay home a lot sure leaves a person out of the friend game doesn't it? I found out that if I was not able to go out to eat or out shopping that I got left home. So home is where I am most all the time and really don't have enough energy anymore to do anything else anyway. It is sad how it changes things. :( . Please keep us informed about your night out. I promise I will find it interesting.

[bluesky63]

Joy, thank you for replying. You are very sweet. :-)

I think I see the board in some ways as one loss; I used to be very active there, but it becomes harder and harder to participate. Back during MS2, MS, and MS4, we had such a warm and active support group, amd I felt like part of a real community. It would have been common to get a dozen replies very quickly. I shouldn't necessarily compare the board as it is to what things were like then, but I remember it warmly and I do miss it and the community feeling.

I would be happy to report back. I am glad to have a place to do that, sort of a virtual coffeeshop. Now I'm off to bed -- thanks again, and pleasant dreams. :-)

[Buttons2]

Dear many of us are in the same boat! Yes you found the right place to post this wonderful news! Good for you! Try not to stress over a GOOD thing!

Bluesky you might also like to join in on a long thread Javi began on this forum. We try really hard to come up with 3-5 positive things everyday. Maybe just stuff we are grateful for. It's hard to do at times! But we've all benefited from at least making an effort. Plus it's a great way to connect & make some friends here on BT.

About the MS post,well I've certainly noticed how very busy that forum is on here,seems like many new posts everyday. I agree with Joy that we may never get back what we had on the old BT.....but ya know what? We can still make this a great expereince,we can still reach out & share the good along with the bad!

Can you tell us more about you? I also have become reclusive & my cyber friends are very special to me. I look forward every day to reading their posts. We may have lost old friends-but we can make new ones! People who will understand our pain & limitations.

I bet we can come up with ideas to help you make new friends in the new environment too!

We will look forward to hearing more about you & it's very nice to hear of someone getting a reward for their volunteer work! I used to be a volunteer coordinator,I know just how special volunteer workers are! In fact I actually got my job as a direct result of my own volunteer work!

Way to go! Buttons

[houghchrst]

Hi Bluesky. What an honor, you should be extremely proud and grateful that you have the ability to earn such an honor. I hope the ceremony goes well and I am sorry that you feel so lonely, don't, we are here and even though most of us may be alone physically we know we can come here and then we aren't really. We all have each other. Hope you don't mind if I help you celebrate a little.



http://bestsmileys.com/ballons/4.gif



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[tic chick]

congratulations bluesky!!*bunch

it is indeed wonderful for others to recognize our efforts in making the world a better place.

i think it would be wonderful if you could take a friend with you to the dinner who could help you watch your children while you are being honored. this is such a positive experience for your children to share, knowing that their mother helps other people who have problems. i think children are never too young to learn that volunteering should be a part of everyone's life.

so, have a nice dinner and enjoy the accolades. *sparkle


jeannie

[waves]

I posted on the MS board last week when I won a photo contest and I felt silly because only three people replied, so I don't want to risk posting another thing thta is a very big thing in my rather small life and having it go thunk.ohhhh, i soooooo know what you mean.

So I figured if I posted it here, in the official emotional support forum, perhaps someone would officially say, yes, it actually is exciting to be honored.well i officially and unofficially congratulate you, first, and YES, it actually IS exciting to be honored.

I'm cringing at the thought that they might expect us to bring friends and family. regardless of expectation - perhaps more a practical issue if there are refreshments involved - i think others will be there alone. i mean heck, i went to my prom alone (i cringed too). once there, i noticed other ppl had too. I believe you will be alright. whenever you cringe, try to ask yourself to "BASK" instead! :) This is a glorious moment for you!

And yes I agree that while it may not seem so at this time, your children will learn positively from your efforts and achievement.

Again, Well Done, Bluesky!

(clap clap clap clap clap ;))

~ waves ~ (you don't know me either, but... hello! ;))

[JAVISI]

Bluesky,
How wonderful it is that you volunteer! You must be great at it if you are going to be rewarded for it! I think most of us can relate to the loss of friends. When I was vibrant and working I had many friends but when I lost my ability to work I lost so many friends. Most of the friends that I have are cyberfriends, on this site. I can share the good the bad and the ugly and they all come to my rescue!*cg01

I hope that you continue to come to this thread we are all close here but we also welcome others with open arms! It is nice to hear happy things that are going on in peoples lives. It can be fun to share with your kids but we all need some adult friends too!*topoftheworld

So here's another CONGRATULATIONS!*bunch

And a great big WELCOME!*fantasia

Dreaming Big and Reaching for the Stars! Javi;)

[bluesky63]

Thank you to all of you. You're very kind to be so nice to someone you don't even know. :-)

I feel like I'm not even a particularly good online friend anymore because my online presence is so sketchy. When I first became affected by MS, I was so grateful for Braintalk. I know that in the MS forum I almost felt it was my unofficial role to always welcome new people and make sure that no post ever went unanswered, whether from new people with worries or from older people coming back.

But over time even keeping up online has become so much harder. It's been years since I did that stuff. Now I mostly just talk to the screen. :-) But sometimes I manage to get in a reply that I hope helps, or at least amuses people. Humor is a good way to deal with things.

About me . . . I am a single parent of three children. I often think that when a parent is disabled, the family is disabled in many ways. We would be less affected if we had a support system, but we moved into a new community fairly recently, and for whatever reason we have not had the community I envisioned.

I try to be very positive, but I think I am feeling alone more this month because it is the anniversary of my sister's death from inflammatory breast cancer eleven years ago. She was only 36 years old. We were very close; we talked almost every day, and we fully expected to grow old and have a lot of fun together. I miss her. I think about her all the time and I don't have anyone to talk to about her.

I find myself torn between having her things around the house so I see them and they are still part of our life, and then wanting to put them away so I might not think about it for a bit. And in an interesting twist, my first child is beginning to look like my sister, even showing her facial expressions. This has been tugging at my heartstrings, but again -- I have nowhere to go with it. And it's a bit hard to work into casual conversation -- "By the way, my daughter that you don't know is starting to look like my older sister that you don't know -- and oh yes, my sister died of a rare breast cancer when she was 36 -- how's the weather?"

I suppose that's enough for now. :-) Thank you for offering a place to share with all of you who understand how things feel. :-)

[JAVISI]

We are very much a like!

I have 3 children also, they are older now. Which I am thankful for. There is no wey I could care for them in the condition that I am in. In fact they would be burdened with caring for me. I am divorced, Very Thankfully!!:D

When I first started posting on BT, I too tried to post to anyone that did not get a response. I started threads, and spent a lot of time here, but now I have been so ill I don't post even half as much as I used too! I know that their are others that have taken my place, posting to the new people and keeping threads alive. So I don't feel as guilty as I used to!:o

Come back and give us an update when you can!:)
Dream Big and Reach for the Stars, Javi;)

[joy]

Well I am now even more thankful. See if you had not won that honor and posted about it we would never have gotten to meet you. I will share a bit about myself here as well. I am older than anyone that has posted here I'm sure. But only feel that way in how my body makes me feel, lol. My mind has a lot of catching up to do.

I have 2 children and I will just share that they are adopted because they are and I have shared that other places here on this board already. My husband used to wonder why I shared that fact, about them being adopted as often as I did. And my answer was well every woman always gets around to talking about the day their child was born or whatever, the facts. And I have things to share too. And mine took a lot longer and was much more trouble than most anyone realises unless you have tried to adopt. In other words, it was all very special to me and meant the world!!

I have 2 grandchildren. The oldest is 7 and a girl and the youngest will be 3 next week and is a boy. I just love them so much and I used to say my kids were my pride and joy. When the grandkids came along I shortened it to just joy! So there you have part of my reasons for my name - from joy.

I am home a lot because I had an injury in my late 20's. Before I recovered from that I had fibromyalgia and this was in the 70's. I also hgad some weird jobs in my day that helped cause my body problems with my spine. I have osteoarthritis in every joint in my body, 2 pages of things that have scoliosis, collapsed disc, and more I am trying to forget. My last thing is idiopathic peripheral neuropathy and that has caused me to have dead limbs and that's no fun for sure. But I am still out of wheelchair for now but it is a struggle every day to just move on my dead feet and legs. My hands dying is still painful and typing is done with 2 fingers. But I can still manage it all and am grateful that I can still see well enough to log onto Bt everyday and see how everyone is doing.

I can see where you need someone to share things with bluesky so I hope you will continue to do that with us all here. I found out that once I was housebound mostly that everyone deserted me so it is great that we have a place that we can share with others. That way if I do get out ocassionally I can still try and be the type of person that others don't mind being around. It gets to be pretty tricky having so many health troubles and managing it and still being good enough company so others won't mind being around me.

[Buttons2]

Bluesky, I think many of us have gone through moving into a new community & not knowing anyone there. And like Joy mentioned,when you become ill you find many of your friends staying away.

So we just have to make new friends! And this is a good place to start.

By the way I'm also a single mother,however my sons are probably your age! Guess I'm the next oldest after Joy,who has become very special to me on BT.

Now Javi has gone through more than I can relate here,but she sticks with us! And she knows how much we care.

HUGS Buttons

[JAVISI]

Bluesky,
I was just wondering how things are going. I often times still find myself trying to save the world and then realize that I have neglected the most important thing, myself! We should be proud of our accomplishments and enjoy sharing them with friends, even if they are cyber friends!

My cyber friends are so close to me that I can tell them anything and they all give me care and support. I would call it a type of unconditional friendship that I thought I had in the working world I lived in. I intially felt abandoned and hurt by the loss of their friendships but found that true friends are there for you no matter what and I have found that here!

I hope you join what I like to think of as our little army that not only helps eachother but also those that are hurting and are in need! I know that when I am sick they come in and take my place and I ndo the same for them. We all seem to be drawn to the same people, It helps take the load off.

I just want to welcome you to join our little family that has come to be by fate! So Welcome!

Dreaming Big and Reaching for the Stars, Javi;)

[houghchrst]

Morning bluesky. I too hope you stick around. I am kind of new to this particular forum, though have been a member of BT for over a year, and have decided to stay. They are all wonderful here, kind, supportive and caring. I hope you don't mind if I chime in a bit about myself. I have 2 children, 15 yr old BiPolar who is wonderful, a sweet smart 6 yr old both boys. I am egaged (8 yr engagement 9 yr relationship lol, yes I am afraid) to a wonderful kind, caring, hardworking, sensitive man who takes care of me and gives me a lecture everytime I try to over do it. Besides family and one friend out here in the world I have made a few friends here that I wish to hold on to. There is much more but it has been listed on other forums and I don't wish to take over your thread. Any questions ask away and you may pm or email me anytime.

I am truly sorry about the loss of your sister. I can't imagine. My mother and I have that kind of relationship and her health is failing as she ages and it is heartbreaking. I think that one consolation with your daughter growing in resemblance is that you will look into her face and see your sister and after a while nothing but a warm feeling with a little extra love will come to you. I hope so.

Don't feel bad about not being able to post so regularly. We all have good days and bad and some of those may run into weeks. We understand and here they ask about you if you are MIA lol. I come here everyday and yes I too often just talk to the monitor lol and leave unannounced. Some days can't muster up the energy unless someone is checking on me. Then I at least leave a still here :).

That is enough for now. I hope you feel better soon and find a smile in your day.

[Tootsie]

Hi bluesky and welcome to our little support group. I don't always get to the computer every day, and am usually at Alzheimer's or Fibromyalgia Forums first. Sometimes, people there need a long, involved reply, or at least I think they do, so I don't always make it here.

I think it's wonderful that you are still able to volunteer in some way. It gets you out of the house and in contact with other people to minimize the isolation. I am fortunate in that I've been in the same house for over 40 years, and the same church for about 30. As I lose touch with friends I worked with, I sit down and pick up the phone. As you can see, I never use a word, if a phrase or paragraph will do! I sure can't prowl the malls and ********* outlets like a used to. Cheerio.