Recommendation of Adoption books wanted

[Vettey]

Hi

Would love to hear which books on adoption have enlightened or inspired you.

Thanks,

Vettey

[joy]

Hi to you Vettey. I am sorry I really was hoping someone would answer this for you. I have forgotten the ones I liked the best as it has been quite awhile. I do remember looking at our library and possibly even buying a book or two. I do want to say that if you are adopting I am very excited for you. I have many special memories to look back upon and if you adopt I know you will too.

[Vettey]

Thanks Joy

There is so much info on bonding etc during pregnancy and newborns, but would like to do some reading on bonding with an older baby. There are books out there, but i find that it is hard to pick the right ones.

Take care,
Vettey

[Cry Tears]

It something I wish I had prepared ourselves for what we were in for in adopting older children from a foreing country.
They did NOT have the ability to form bonds with anyone and it effected them greatly.
All the love, nurturing and caring couldn't fix their damaged "souls" and they continue to struggle...they're filled with rage, hatred and anger...has been directed on us because they can't blame their real parants as they've died long ago.
I'd give ANYTHING to have a relationship with one of them...I've longed and prayed for this for years....but it just will never be.
M was 11 when she came to us....and D was almost 5...so they were pretty set in their ways.
My son was 12 when we got them...he became terribly jealous and blames us for ruining his perfect life he had prior to the girls joining our "family".
Perhaps if I had more support from outside...like family...but we didn't have that either...my inlaws spent the rest of their years saying "We TOLD you so!"
To me it was sad...they could have been kind and loving towards the 2 girls who desperatly wanted acceptance...instead they just were ugly...what a sad legacy to leave...but was THEIR choice.
I'm really hoping the future will hold better things for us....we are hopful, maybe some day?
But I'd advise anyone contemplating adopting OLDER children, is to be very prepared...learn all you can.
These children rarely form bonds and attatchments...so are incapable of loving....thats what we've been told, as the reason the girls turned the way they have...they don't even have much of relationship with eachother either, but they were not biological sisters...just came from the same orphanage.
Blessings, cheryl

[Vettey]

Dear Cheryl (crytears)

I'm sorry that you and your kids have had such a rough time.

Take care,

Vettey

[foobarwith]

Dear chery, dont upset by the current flow, there rough time will soon sot out :) be happy