My friend is dying

[Bobbi]

I got a call at 5:30 this morning that he "isn't going to make it." I didn't know what it meant, and feel like such a fool that I had to ask; it "made" someone have to spell it out for my lame brain.

He's in a coma and on life support. Family and doctors are just waiting for his dad to arrive; his father was out of the country and had to be called home.

My friend is a CPer, too. I love him and his wife so much and this hurts worse than anything.

I've known him most of my life.

I don't know what to do. I have nothing I can do. I have prayed and prayed and prayed.

His mother called tonight and told me "It's over." They're only waiting for his father to arrive.

Gawd, I love her dearly too. She's actually one of my best friends. It hurts so much.

I can't really say anything to those closest IRL to me because? They are his family. I've grown up with them and... this was a total shock - even to his mom.

I just hope, hope, hope whoever receives messages from people in the universe that the person, body, entity, spirit or whatever understands: Let him pass peacefully and make sure he knows he is loved and will be missed more than words can express.

I'm sorry. I knew how it feels to be hurt, but my heart has never been broken like this. I don't want him to die. Can't I trade places? Please.

[brians2000]

Sorry to hear about your friend. He sounds like he is also young and that is what is so bad. Your prayers are more important than all the medicine. Hopefully he will pull through. BTW what does he suffer from? Brian

[Mark N]

Bobbi, sorry to hear this news.

[Bobbi]

Thank you for your thoughts for him. Even if no one understands, I'm thinking he will still receive the positive thoughts and stuff no matter where "he" is right now. He'll still understand.


It is the end of his life according to his mother. She called and she said "It's over." His organs have shut down and he's on life support, which is what's keeping him alive (long enough for his father to arrive and say goodbye).

I know this is going to be one of the longest nights of my life, and thought before posting. But... just needed to cry or something (as if tears have been a problem).

He has CP following a horrible vehicle accident a few years ago. Out of respect for him and his family, I won't be very specific. His mother is also a member of BT (I helped her sign up).


He was suddenly hospitalized due to an infection, which has also come as a "shock" to his immediate family.

He also has Diabetes (Type 1). Right now, I don't know if the infection was an effect of physical condition or diabetes-related. His mother said she can't talk about it - what led to this. She can barely talk about anything... much less how everything led to where it is now. That will come with time.

His mother and additional family are not expecting he'll survive. Doctors are keeping him alive until his dad arrives.

I've tried not thinking about it, and also holding out for a miracle or something, but when I heard his mom say that "It's over," I got it. It hit. I have no idea how life goes on after such sh&**y events. I know it does since I lost a cousin and, later, my best friend to cancer. I didn't forget but maybe healed? And, everything old is new again :(.

[BrokenBladder]

Bobbi I'm so sorry about your friend. It sounds like this was really a big shock to everyone. I will pray too and add to your prayers.

If there's anything good that comes out of this I believe it's that he will be in a better place with no more pain.

Bobbi take care and cry all that you need too.

[gambles]

Bobbi,

I'm so sorry for your pain.

I just sat staring at that line and simply don't know what else to say.

I could say that I do understand pain of loss because I just lost my husband.
I could say that no one can understand because every situation is totally different.
I could say that it does sound like he is going quickly and peacefully which is what we held on to when my father died, but that helps much farther down the road - not now.

The simple fact is that none of those will help you one little bit.

I'll just stick with : I will keep you and the family members in my thoughts and prayers. I strongly believe death isn't the end. I'm so very sorry you are all going through this.

Suzanne

[simby]

bobbi,
i am sorry about your friend. I pray the family will find the strength they need to carry on.
And i am sorry you are hurting so much. I know what you mean about having been hurt, but nothing breaks the heart so savagely as this.

be strong,
hugs,
sims

[Pamster]

Oh boy Bobbi, my heart goes out to you and his family. It's never easy to lose someone you love. I wish there was more I could say other then we're here for you Bobbi.

[Boxerlover]

Bobbi, you and his family will be in my thoughts and prayers. I am so sorry.

Melissa

[Bobbi]

Thanks everyone.

The viewing was today; the services and burial are tomorrow (Tuesday).

I've spent the weekend writing a eulogy.

Undoubtedly, it will be a memorable service; the entire family is bickering and doing the blame-game. So many are so angry at one another that I suspect cops might be called to the services. It's that ugly.

I hate to do it, but... I will leave if there is too much tension or if a disruption breaks out and it's nothing but chaos.

[BrokenBladder]

Bobbi I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend. I sure pray that today the family can unite together and not fight as that would only make it harder on everyone.

If you need to leave, don't feel bad. A family fighting at a funeral isn't something that you need to see or hear.

Please check back in with us and let us know how you're doing. May God Bless You Today and The Family.

[Bobbi]

((( Thanks, Lisa )))


Times like these, and it seems no one can do anything that's right for everyone.

I've included a story about my friend and his doggie; it's bound to make people smile :D.

I hope that the day goes without incident, only that's not realistic, considering how people have been behaving. I think I've learned some new curse words this week :eek:. I've heard enough to last a lifetime.

[Gimpy]

Bobbi, I'm so sorry for your loss. A close friend is as bad as a family member, sometimes worse. Please know I have been thinking of you.

Love ya girl,

Linda

[Bobbi]

I'm home. It was a beautiful service held outdoors; it was so classy. His wife really pulled it all together so well. It was also videotaped.

He was buried with military honors. Military provided the bag pipers (is that what they're called?). His wife was composed until the flag was folded and handed to her.

No one did anything out-of-line. Whew!


I've learned a huge lesson: make sure to have a living will and a last will and testament - that others know where to find easily.

[BrokenBladder]

Bobbi it sounds like the service turned out to be beautiful. I've been to a couple of military services and they're tough to get through. Thankfully everyone held their tongues. My heart goes out to the family and to you Bobbi as this was a good friend and that's a hard thing to deal with. I thought maybe you could use some flowers for your table.*forgetmenot *forgetmenot

[Bobbi]

Thank you, Lisa.

Taps, the bagpipes, and the final salute were the most difficult (for me) - aside from my friend dying.

Yesterday, I am so thankful, was purely about him - a sincere and deep reflection and honor of his personality, his likes, and his life.

[Mark N]

Bobbie, sorry to hear of your loss and glad to hear it all went well. Taps is the saddest song I know of and it always reminds me of military funerals.

[Bobbi]

"Amazing Grace" always chokes me, too, Mark, but the story behind it also makes it one of my favorites.