I am tired of people saying they'll be my friend and I never hear from them again.

[jennifer]

Just like my title says, I'm tired of people saying they'll be my friend and then I won't hear from them again. I don't have any friends besides my family and no one probably knows what that feels like. So, if you would like to make a friend you could just talk to me.

[DystoniaGal]

Jennifer

A lot of people on have kids or work and if they are like me, there can be days that I don't log on for lack of time. Also it is very quiet on the weekends as most are spending time with their families or taking care of stuff that they cant during the week.

[IndySasha]

{{{ jennifer }}}}

I am like you most of my time is spent with my son and husband or i read alot!

or play on the puter! But if you would like to get to know me I would talk to you!!
:cool:
{{{{{ huggsies }}}}

Indy

[CathyE]

Hi Jennifer,

Sorry you feel so lonely! Unfortunately I have problems using the computer very much, (I believe I am over draining just enough to make me feel poorly) so I'm not a good candidate for a new friend.

However, I would like to suggest that you check out the Forum for Emotional Support. To find it click on BrainTalk Communitites just under the Goodle Ads at the top. Then you'll see all the forums listed. It's down just a bit.

I do understand how lonely it can get, as I find myself in that position a lot.
But I have a husband (who works) & a son (22) & a daughter (20). My "kids" keep quite busy and when they're home they're usually in their own rooms.
My husband loves to listen to music a lot. Plus he wants some quiet time when he gets home from work, so I have learned not to "pounce" as soon as he walks in :D

Good luck to you. Maybe someone else can give you ideas about community programs you could look into. Or arrange for a "friendly visitor" to visit you. That's what we call a volunteer who visits you for a few hours each week here in Canada. Not sure who you'd phone to arrange it. Can anyone help out here regarding this ?

God luck to you & I hope you're loneliness gets resolved.

Cathy (age 55, shunted first time at age 50)

[AMBush]

Sweetie there are lots of very friendly people here, but we've all got a lot going on. Many of us are working fulltime jobs and raising families, and in my case, all of that is complicated by the greater needs of my daughter with hydro.

A lot of times I just have enough time to log on and take a quick look around, see what's what in the hydro world. I'm really bad at small talk, too, so unless there is a topic I feel I can contribute to, I really won't post. Plus, seriously? I have HUGE self esteem issues and generally I don't feel like I have anything to say that other folks would want to hear or even care about.

I'm sorry that you feel that no one wants to talk to you, but I really don't think that's the case. This is a very friendly group, but there's not always going to be a lot of chatter.

Take care, and I hope to talk to you again soon.

[lisa6wks]

Jennifer,
You would be much better off joining a chat room. I have met many friends that way, I even met my husband in a special needs chat room. The people who come here are mainly looking for information and support. A lot of them are so busy with their children and their jobs that they just don't have the time to come in here and just converse. Why don't you look for a chat room that sounds interesting to you. There is a special needs chat room in Talk City I know and I am sure there are others as well. Maybe you can find one specifically for young adults with hydro. Whatever you decide to do, good luck, I know it can be hard to find friends, I just don't think that this is the place to find the kind of friends you are looking for.

Lisa

[kathleenandjoe]

Honestly, I wish I had the time and energy to chat with friends about non-hydro stuff here on this forum. This forum is used mainly for support and experience purposes for hydro patients and parents of hydro kids - in regards to hydro and other health-related issues. Not just to chat, really.

Now would I love to have coffee with all of you and meet you in person - ABSOLUTELY. And would I love to introduce my daughter to you and tell her that you too have a shunt and graduated high school, work, AND play sports. . . thinking about college tooo - THAT WOULD BE GREAT!

But this is a support forum and that happening is very unlikely. We all work and are raising families and are likely in medical debt too.

I hope you stay and chime in when you read of something you've had experience with. For example - hitting your head like my daughter did last week and having it not effect your shunt, playing sports with a shunt, surgery things that you read one of us have questions about or you have experience with, etc. . . .

However, please do not feel bad when we cannot just be there as a friend on this forum regularly. Please do not leave just becasue of that.

I think there are things like myspace, and other community things online and in real life that are appropriate ways to pursue those types of relationships. Have you tried volunteer work? College would also be a great way to meet people. It is WONDERFUL that you have a great family - much more than many.

So please stay as I know that you could offer so much inspiration to those of us raising small kids with hydro - as do Brittany, Liz, Austin, Nat, Brandon, and so many more here. . . .

But please do not be offended if we do not always reply to posts you leave.

Hang in there, and know that we really do care.

Hugs,
Kathleen

http://rileyusmc.shutterfly.com

[jennifer]

IndySasha

Yes I would like to get to know you, if you would like to get to know me. Like I said people talk to me and tell me they'll be my friend and then they drop off, and I am tired of being here if I am not wanted.

[KathiDG]

Hi..I'm Kathi. I'm 29 yrs old and I've had hydro since birth. Like you, I do have some self-esteem issues at times, but what has helped me is that I finally got a break and worked full time for 2 yrs straight. I got laid off shortly before I went in for my last shunt revision. Now that I am recuperated (the surgery was August 18th)...this was the 2nd revision I've ever had...I'm now spending much of my time during the week looking for work. My weekends are usually spent with family. I DO sympathize with your situation, but please understand this is a message board to for support/advice about hydrocephalus issues. Like, I was going through A LOT of headaches for a long time and the people on this board were WONDERFUL...I don't usually find that the message boards are meant for small talk...if you have a hydrocephalus question or need some advice about it, we'd all be more than happy to help.

But to say you're "NOT WANTED"...that's not right. Not everyone has time to hang out on the boards...are there recreation programs for people with disabilities in your area? That may be a good option for you. But please know, you ARE wanted here, if you have any difficulties with your hydrocephalus, we are here for you. And, I DO agree that social issues can definitely come up with us from time to time. Maybe not all of us, but I'm sure A LOT of us can relate to how you're feeling. I think you've been given a lot of good advice. If you look at it from a "support group" point of view, and it definitely sounds like you are asking for help, some people have chimed in with some good ideas to try and HELP you. BrainTalk is simply a message board...it may be easier to get to know people in a chatroom setting.

If my response has upset you in any way, I am truly sorry. It's not that we don't want to get to know you at all. To be honest, the reason A LOT of us has gotten to know each other some, is when one of us is going through a health situation and the rest of us can offer support/advice...I thank God for that, otherwise I'd STILL be having headaches and not understanding why nothing was working...before August, the last time I had a shunt situation was when I was 6 YRS OLD. As far as the not having many friends issue, what has helped me out TREMENDOUSLY, is I am very involved in my church...so, we are not trying to turn you off, but just to explain the purpose of this board, and also we've all given you what I think are great alternatives for making friends...

Take care,

Kathi

[CathyE]

Jennifer,

I hope you're still checking your replies.

I just stumbled across a forum called "Chit Chat" here at Braintalk.

Maybe you can give it a try. It's in the same area as the other one I told you about, just down a bit farther (I think?)

here is the link to it:
http://brain.hastypastry.net/forums/showthread.php?t=1939

Good Luck,
Cathy

[Shown]

Jennifer I have read some of your post and if you are looking for someone to chat with try this one:

http://brain.hastypastry.net/forums/chat/flashchat.php

Shown