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Cry Tears
09-20-2007, 08:03 PM
I've had years of turmoil, was sexualy abused, despised by my own father, used by my mother as her maid and babysitter to my much younger siblings.
While my mother lived 75 miles away, my siblings lived with foster family.
~~~
I was 14, left alone on 10 acres far from town. My dad always gone out gambling came home about every 4-5 days. I was desperatly lonely, wanted to just be dead because no one cared about me...no one...except I'd met a girl while swimming in public pool.
Her father kidnapped, drugged then raped me.
My mother refused to let me "tell" and was forced to hold all this "within".
We moved a few months later.
By then I'd attended 9 different school and was only in 8th grade then.
~~~
In late Oct, I had suicidal "ideations" while driving 80mph on wet winding road.
I went off a steep embankment...is a wonder I wasn't killed.
4 months after this, our home totally destroyed by a flood.
My very sicko religeous mom claimed was my fault for satanic poster in my room.
They moved into small apt...no room for me, was only allowed to sleep on the couch till I found elsewhere to live...so at just barely 17, I walked out of that "home" with half grocery bag that held every possesions I owned.
Now mind you...I was NOT a regelious girl, never back talked or disobeyed!
I was nearly a model child. I even held a near full time job to help pay my own bill for private christian school.
I just didnt fit into this very "clikcish" school.
I was very dirt poor, had just moved into the area and didn't have a single freind. Most kids there came from wealthy homes.
I was often chastised in principles office because I smelled like cig smoke.
They'd search my locker, purse and all, just sure I smoked.
They refused to listen to me...that my father smoked and the smell got onto my clothing and things.
Some kids were cruel enough to hold their noses as they passed by me in the hallways. I was often all alone in tears. I didn't want to be alive.
I was failing school anyway...got mostly D's and F's....I'd spent my every waking hour helping my 2 younger sisters (They both now hold PhD's)
And when our mother came home from work usually midnight, I'd fix her a meal, freshen her uniform, rub her feet and listen to her crying and lamenting about my father who was abusing her. I loathed and despised the man and he, me, but ten fold more. I recieved many face slappings and beatings, often for no reason what soever!
Most of my class mates parants were doctors or medical proffesionals there at Loma Linda Univ Hosp. a Seventh Day Adventist organization.
~~~
After being turned away from my "family" I met an older man.
That lasted long enough for 1st pos pregnancy test.
My only option was Booth Mem, a home for unwed mothers in Los Angeles.
But I left a month before delivering my son. I'd had a dream that God told me I'd never be ever able to bare another child, for me to keep him.
I kept my baby, was born 1 month before my 18th BD.

I met and married a complete opposite from my dad. I was NOT attracted to Larry, But I knew he'd offer me something much different than way I grew up. We've been married 32 years now, and has been the only stability in my life.
~~~
Sadly, my dream was true, I was never able to bare his baby, but he accepted and adopted my son as his own, but his folks were terribly unaccepting to us both and openly shared their disdane towards me.
They were appalled their son would marry an uneducated girl with an illigetamate child. They tried to their dying end to get Larry to leave me.
They even went as far as offering me a large sum of money to leave thier son alone, as I was the cause of his deadly mouth cancer!
~~~
We adopted older 2 girls, 5 & 11 yrs old, from an orphanage in Mexico.
When the girls were safely in our home, they told the horrors that took place in the orphanage...a Christian organization, but satanic rituals used against the children to keep them from talking/telling.
We exposed them and turned over this information to proper authorities.
They were all arrested, imprisoned and have since all have died.
~~~
A year later we moved to Oregon on C-Mass Eve...
6 months later, Larry had a lump on his tongue.
He was 36, I was 34. He held a very good job with Motorola corp, engineering emergency radio and 911 systems here in the Pac NW.
Was deadly form of mouth Cancer. He had near radical surgery and radiation.
During all this the oldest girl began running away, drinking herself into comas.
I've written that saga on another forum, (Alc Family)
I had to work full time now all 3 children in Christian school.
Life was soooo hard and I wasn't sleeping, had no freinds, no loving family to console us. I wanted to just be dead.
~~~
If things couldn't get worse, they did. My inlaws came for a C-mass visit.
They'd actually came with the conviction they could finally get Larry to wake up to the fact that all these problems were all my fault.

When he refused their offer (had secretly held a meeting with Larry on Cmass Eve), then on C-mass day after having dinner in total silence...:eek:
Larrys mother stood on our front steps, told me I was the most worthless person on earth...
that she'd never seen such a disfunctional, uneducated idiot...
that I was down right horrible and that I had caused their son to have mouth cancer, that was all my fault, was killing him.

More poison continued, what a horrible home we had, filled with used furniture and junk, my car a shame to the road....just anything she could to hurt me! Larry brother has a gorgeous home in private gated community.
But our money was spent on the girls immigration, adoptions, citezenship, church schooling and much needed medical care...they were in very poor shape when they arrived in our home.
We also pay tithes and offerings first before spent on "stuff".
Those were OUR values, convictions...but they only saw it as wasted money.
~~~
She spent 20 mins describing to me what a poor exuse of a human I was.
Then she started in about MY kids...what a disgrace each and every one of them were....were ugly, Mexicans...only brought shame to everyone and had turned our once quiet and very functional family into the most disfunctional group of misfits she's ever seen.
She was a high school councilor, highly degree'd (PhD) as is every member of that family....except Larry...although he's since recieved his, they were never told so....didn't matter to Larry what they thought.
If you don't at least hold a master's, you're worthless!
While she continued attacking me, Larry stood behind me, silent, head down.
His mouth still filled with ulcer sores from having 2 months of radiation.
I stood there frozen with fear...tears and snot running down my face, all my children looking out the window, listening to her every word.
~~~
You'll be shocked by what I did next....I cried out, "Forgive me...I'll try harder...what does it take for you to accept me?" I kept begging over and over...(How stupid and shameful that was)...and I reached out to hug her!:eek: ...is what I did whenever desperate for affection and acceptance.
~~~
But she recoiled...like the rattle snake she was...she only struck, her fangs deeper into my heart as she continued spewing out more vitrionic poisonous venom.
They turned around, drove off. But she wasn't finished with me just yet.
~~~~~~~WELL...MERRY F'N ***X-MSS!!!~~~~~~~~
Is what I really wanted to say and then pushed both of them off our front porch...both fall into the pile of rocks below...but I didn't...I just stood there shocked as both Larrys "parants" drove off.
She wasn't finished with me yet....:( as she wrote several letters to Larry, describing what a total failure he was, was nothing more than a mouse saying "yes dear" as a fat pig (me) drove us all off a precipous, picking up speed and disfunction as we headed downhill.
That I'd kill us all by the time we hit bottom.
~~~
Larrys ENT and Surgeon both had a close relationship with us, took us under their "wings"...the ENT took our kids skiing a few times too.
They read the letter and heard what Larrys "mother" had written.
They wrote a letter back to her, claiming SHE would be responsible for her son's demise because of her horrible attitude....and threatened to sue her for getting in the way of his patients healing!
~~~
We did have a close relationship with a few church members as we were helping build a new church. Larry was "well" enough to engineer and install the sound system, saving the church over $20,000!
And someone paid most of our kids school bills for 3 years!:eek:
But that didn't stop me from feeling every word Larrys mother had said to me. I beleived her every word...my self esteme is THAT low.
All I could think was everyone would be better off with my death.
I wanted to just die in my sleep, would pray this each nite.
~~~
Then if this wasn't bad enough, my folks moved to Oregon, stayed with us. Bob (my bio-sperm donor) wouldn't lift a finger other than his middle.
He's always leached off anyone around him. My mom worked as RN full time.
Bob continued his rage and hatred towards me.
One time he didn't like the way I'd talked to Larry.
He overturned the kitchen table, then beat me.
He slapped, kicked, pulled my hair, telling me how much he's hated me my entire life...that EVERYONE wished I was dead...that he was going to kill me!
My "mom" just danced around me...all my children and 12 yo brother watching this...Larry trying to get Bob off of me...and my mother yelling, "Stop, STOP, its almost SABBATH!"...OMG!...the woman just doesn't get it...the man was trying to kill me! ~~~...continued on the next post.....

Cry Tears
09-20-2007, 08:05 PM
~~~
A few months after this...Bob called me...don't know why, but he told me how much he hated me, that for everyones sake, I should go kill myself.
That did it!
I got in my car, set out to finally end it all...was going to find a truck to have a headon with...but then decided I didn't want to hurt others.
I ended up in the ER, seeking help.
It all came out...the sexual abuse I suffered, the kidnapping, raped, my years of my mother only using me...my incredible lonlieness...always turning to "The Lord"...but even feel He's failed me.
~~~~
We continued with our struggles with both girls...we had no business adopting them...had no idea our thinking that a good family, love and God would fix them....how wrong we were.
Our home was always filled with chaos, upset, crying, yelling, punishing.
We no longer had money for the wonderful trips and vacations we used to take and our motorhome became older, unable to get newer as we'd always enjoyed "pre"girls"
My son began changing. He was deeply filled with rage and jealousy and hid the fact he'd been raped by a church leader just befor Larrys Cancer ordeal.
It didn't come out till he was 20 years old when he too threatend to end it all.
To this day he's filled with hatred and rage towards me.
told me he will NEVER forgive me for F'ng up his perfect life.
He's asked me many times..."Wasn't I enough"?...why did YOU get them? Wasn't I enough..?"
~~~
Then I began to fill sick...first was Fibromyalgia, then Crohns disease, then muscle weakness, Neuropathy, Thyroid.
Larry too has had return of the cancer...also had to have another radical surgery 8 years after the first one.
I was suffering....really suffering badly.
Then...a drugged out creep hit me head on....I survived that crash with only soft tissue injuries and nerve damage to my right arm.
Also making my Fibromyalgia worse.
A year after that I had a gall bladder surgery. A nerve in my bil duct got damaged and has left me in pain 24/7 and no one can figure out how to fix this other than give me pain managment.
I struggled with wanting to live...I wanted to be dead...plain and simple!
To me there was NO reason what so ever to live another day.
I began having severe anemia....back in 2000.
I have/had a needle phobia and having blood test and IV's were just a nightmare to me.
My hemaglobin was so low it nearly killed me...was 5.1 hgb:eek:
I didn't have enough oxygene to feed my brain.
~~~
My much yonger sister, Bobbi and I had become very close.
I adored her two darling girls...always perfect little ladies.
She has a PhD in psychology, so was always helpful, but always advised us to send those 2 girls back to Mexico...but I didnt want to "fail them" AND GOD as well.
So I kept trying, but I would never get a "Mother of the year" award.
I was abusive towards them as well as I was always upset by the running away, drinking, lies, stealing cheating and sexualy acting out.
Basically refusing to obey.
~~~
I was terrified of always being so anemic...I was a mess.
Bobbi turned against me...and then my mother also turned her back on me.
I'd call my mom from my hospital bed, sobbing, begging her to talk to me. She'd hang up. This went on for nearly a year.
Everyone was shocked by that "familys' behavior.
But I just took it to heart, wanted to just die...my prayer every nite was to God to just let me die in my sleep.
I often woke up with my heart beating 200X per min, my blood too low was near death. This nightmare continued for nearly 3 years!:eek:
There is a fate worse than death!
But during this time, my son married, divorced...of course blaming it all on me, but he had no one to turn to other than us.
I became very close with his one child, my granddaughter Madi whom he has total custody of...see, money does buy everything! He had more $ and was able to gain custody.
He leaned on me to help raise her...but now is using her as a pawn to hurt me.
With my entire family gone...only Larry to have help me...I just suffered day in day out....laying in bed, too weak to get up I was always too anemic, but couldn't find the cause.
Finally opened me up to remove a swallowable camera they'd given me, but got stuck in my intestines....they found a baseball sized anuerism bleeding away inside me. Finally...the nightmare would be over...or so I thought!
~~~
Larrys cancer returned...this time only could cut out the leisons as they showed up....every few months he'd find another.
Was always a worry one would break off go to his brain or lungs.
Is like having a black widow spider hanging over your head all the time!
You just cant ever feel "We've made it!".
When Larrys mouth cancers settled down a bit...my health took a nose dive further down.
I began having severe muscle weakness and twitching.
I was barely able to swallow or chew I was that weak.
I got neuropathy all over my entire body on top of all this.
Could this suffering get any worse?
I wanted my life to be overwith. What is the purpose for my livng another day only to suffer?
I won't go into details...but I spent several hours contemplating ending my life. But I chikened out...I didn't do it ONLY because I didn't want to hurt Larry or my grand daughter, Madi.
I love both of them deeply.
~~~
I found this web site, Braintalks and found the reason for my Neuropathy was a B12 deficiency. All those Gastroenterologist I'd seen for the gall bladder saga and Crohns disease and the anuerism...they removed 3 feet of small insteines and NEVER gave me B12!...is only place you absorb it! Idiot docs!
They failed me miserably! Is down right blatantly incompentant!:mad:
~~~
Once I began taking the B12 per Roses advice, my body began to heal.
Its been a near nightmare being told I may have ALS, MS and other drastic diagnosis. I've recently tapered down off Prednisone (steroids) as my Crohns disease has been helped by not eating Wheat and glutens.
I no longer have diarreah...something I've had every single day for 25+ years.
Turns out was allergy to that.
But since I've gone off the steroids, my muscle weakness is so much worse.
I've been bedridden now for several months now...so what this means really is the Polymyositis they once diagnosed me with.
Its not a fatal disease...but is NOT going to be a fun way to live.
We have 3 level home...that is hard to navigate with muscle weakness.
I love our home...it sits on a parklike setting overlooking the valley below and mountains behind us.
If this muscle weakness doesn't change or gets worse, we'll have to sell it and move.
Which brings me to today.
My son is now using my grandchild as a pawn....is refusing to allow me to see her....we've recently asked him to pay back the money borrowed he used to pay for his last divorce and gain custody of Madi.
He just got married 7/07 to a gal he hardly knows.
Beleive me...he can well afford to pay this back...they're building a 4,000 sq ft custome built home!
I watched Madi the entire summer, never was paid a nickle...I didn't ask, new better!
But now, for some reason, he's playing this little "game" with me and won't even let me see her for an hour after school!
~~~
His wife and new MIL I think have lots to do with this...my son has told them some pretty ugly things about me....all untrue!
But is his way to hurt me. He allowed me to have Madi only because his way of not having to be responsible and involved with the wedding, trips to exotic vacations...etc.
I'm back to having those ugly feelings...."why live another day"...and I just don't know what to do with this.
I am seeing a councilor...same one for years.
I feel let down by God...that He hasn't stepped in to help me with Madi, my sister Bobbi...has been 5 years since last talked to her...but, she is bi-polar,
My "shrink" tells me...I am NOT mentally ill, but I was raised by craizies who used me and failed me miserably...and that Larrys parants were down right evil....and that my sister is the one who's crazy despite her being a psychologist!...and that the 2 girls we adopted could never have turned out any different had they been raised by Mother Theresa!
That I did my best for what I had to deal with.
Medications for depression don't work very well for me....I've had terrible allergic reactions to many medications...especially depression meds.
Last nite...all I could do was wish myself to just not wake up in the morning and this nightmare all be over.
I feel I'm such a bother to Larry and he could have had a much better life had I not lived thru the accident, drugging etc.
There is NO way out of the painful condition of Fibromyalgia...and having years of pain in every muscle of my body....just doesn't make me come to "terms" with this. Some days are more painful than others tho.
Sleep is the ONLY blessed releif I get...thats if the pain doesn't "over'ride" the sleep meds as it often does...then I must lay in bed, in so much pain, I pray my life be over!
I will NOT kill myself...beleive me...that wont ever happen only because I never want to hurt others, especially Larry.
I often wonder if those people at that orphanage put a curse on us?
Look at all thats happened to Larry and I, especially me!
I was the one who pushed to have them arrested as I'm appalled by sexual abuse and others getting away with it.
How do any of you who have so much in your lives, find a way to keep from wanting your lives to be over...and not end your life?
Like I said...I will never take my own life...I'll leave that up to God.
I realize this post is way too long...but I don't have anywhere to turn to.
Thanks so much...cheryl

ainee
09-21-2007, 01:19 AM
Dear Cheryl - what can I say? - I've never suffered in life like you have - quite the opposite. The only thing I can say is that I know about lack of oxygen to my brain - this was due to injury and/or toxin, probably with a fair bit of stress thrown in from about 1997 - but I was able to cope most of the time. I guess God makes us strong to survive when He knows we need a bit of a hand - and sometimes when we can only "see" one pair of footprints in the sand - that's when He carries us.
I know you have read and replied to a few of my posts - I believe MOT would help increase the oxygen circulation and oxygen content to your body and brain and also help with the anaemia and other symptoms your experiencing. Maybe if these symptoms weren't so bad, you would feel better and have better health.
You never never know - if you never never go.
I'm always praying to God that someone will gain better health because of my experience I was lucky that I had the treatment information I did - I wouldn't have survived without this knowledge - and I will keep trying to get the information to those who need it. Maybe someone just around the corner can help me - and also help you. I learnt a little prayer as a kid - I say it every night, along with other prayers.
Jesus friend of little children, be a friend to me
Take my hand and ever keep me, close to thee.
ainee.

mama sue
09-21-2007, 03:44 PM
{{{Cheryl}}}
My heart is hurting for you. You have been through so much. I pray that you will continue to seek Gods strength and love as He IS the divine healer and HE WILL walk with you. Keeping you in thought and prayer.

houghchrst
09-22-2007, 04:26 PM
Cheryl, I see you here at BT often and read your wonderful, kind, caring, helpful posts and do not understand how anyone can hate you. These people that you come in contact with are as your "shrink" says the crazies. how one person can have so much chaos, hurt, and trials in one life and get through is amazing. You are amazing. You are surviving and helping others here at BT. You do not need those people. You do not need their validation. Your adoptions, you do the best you know how. Let them go. There is nothing you can do now. You are what is important. Write your grandchild letters, cards and take pictures and keep them in a lock box for her and when she gets older you can give it to her because I am sure her father has probably started poisining her mind against you. When she reads what you have written and realizes that her father was wrong he will be the loser. You and your husband still can just enjoy each other's company. Play games, talk, read together, watch movies, just cuddle and giggle. You can only be who you are. You need to heal and I know it must be agonizing to think about your children and family but you and your husband are your family circle now. Your stress and worry will only make you worse. I know you know all these things but knowing and taking action are two very different things. You are very brave and strong. Your world just needs to be smaller and quieter. I could just be babbling and have no clue as to what I am talking about but I think you are amazing and thank you for sharing.