Autism On Oprah Today 9/18

[Jamies Mommy]

Just a reminder Oprah will be doing another show on Autism today featuring Jenny McCarthy and Holly Robinson Peete. http://www2.oprah.com/index.jhtml

[milivica]

Part of me totally wants to watch this, part of me knows I'll wind up feeling 'cold' toward the women cause of the unlimited resources, options, I feel like a jerk when I feel like that.

I'd love to know what channel Oprah is on, one thing I'd be happy to do, is communicate about RDI to those moms. Jealous of their money or not, I'd never not try and help a kid.

What is up with me? I know money don't = happiness, why do I feel so petty and jealous, of moms that I can compare myself to (autistic child)....and so guilty when I feel I have so much more (state funding and a good dh and stable family - not money).

Anyhow, unreal I can't find on my cable, what time or when she's on or on what channel. Grrrr.

[Kristen (ColeysMom)]

Funny Mili...I totally want to ask her what services/therapies, etc. she does...I dont' think anything is too much $$ if it'll help...and of course I'll put anyone to the wall to caugh up the money if I can somehow make a case for it...I'd also hock my engagement ring & sell my house if it means Coley will have every opportunity to reach his potential, problem is that you can go threw a gazillion so called 'cures' or whatever before finding something that actually helps or provides some sort of information to work with, ya know...

So I suppose the advantage that these moms have is that they don't have to be so discrimatory, can try whatever seems to be promising...plus they likely have input from people that know first hand what works and what doesn't...so I'd love to just bleed her dry for the 'secrets' she holds!

As for figuring out how you can catch the show...what do you have for cable service?

[Kristen (ColeysMom)]

Mili...try this link:

http://www.tvguide.com/listings/setup/localizeus.aspx?RedirectUrl=%2ftvshows%2foprah-winfrey%2f100340

[peglem]

Part of me totally wants to watch this, part of me knows I'll wind up feeling 'cold' toward the women cause of the unlimited resources, options, I feel like a jerk when I feel like that.
.

I totally feel that way, too. But, i think its because they tend to get up there and tell everyone how horrible and devastating this is and I keep thinking that they have the resources and everything so much better than me. I worry what will happen when I'm gone- they have the resources to make sure their child will always be well cared for. I know autism is difficult for everyone, just feels like I've got it a lot worse than they do. They've got the resources to take their child to that "expert" on the other side of the world who is not covered by insurance. I honestly don't know how much a bunch of money would help Allie, but it seems like I would feel more secure about her future and my ability to go to any lengths to help her.

[milivica]

Peglem, yes, exactly. And you better believe they won't have to endure tongue lashings telling them what a sh!tty mom they are from errogant doctors who'd fear losing their practice if they did. They won't go through the only doc's their crappy insurance covers - but the best. They won't get all the disapproving looks from strangers while they walk with the nanny, it's like I've been 'suffering' with autism myself, then with my son, for all my life, and all his life. Do I get to tell my big sob story for all to say "oh poor Mili, poor Vince - oh let's help them". I don't know one of us here, who got the support they do and will - like Oprah never asked me to come on her show. But the part that guts me, and makes me feel mean feelings and roll my eyes at their 'pain' is Vincent never got any support, or the best of anything, or even the mediocre of anything - I totally don't wish their kids had less, just hurts my kid doesn't have even close to the same. And they have all the money and resources to keep from losing their mind by the 5th fecal smearing of the day, maids to clean, entertain, etc... so these kids aren't with overstressed mom's at their limit at all times, engolfed in worry about 'what about when I'm gone' 24/7, so, their mom's are not a shadow like I was, of the bubbling joyful mom I was at first. Sure, now finally, I have hope thank God, but where was even an ounce of support, up until RDI finally started working? Other than here, where else, who else, did I have - I feel like no one. Sure, there were moments of support, but not help for Vince. Hard to explain. So yes, I feel like a jerk, I feel insensitive to them and haven't even heard their story. Though I will try to contact them on one of those 'post a question' type things. Always got to try and help and do the right thing, even if I'm jealous. I can handle being a jerk in thought, but not in action. Ya know?

I said it years ago, once the stars start having autistic kids, then finally OUR 'lowly' kids will have some hope. There has to be money in it for the media, enough so sponsors want to pay for their products to be in their show cause it will be watched by a large audience...though you'd think 1 in 150 would be pretty darn large! Has to be money in it to talk about autism for more than just Eli Lily (grrrrr).

[milivica]

Whew. Sorry bout that rant. I had a major cranial impaction, or what ever that funny phrase Grimey said not long ago.

Kristen, thanks I got the time now. Yeesh, I wasn't getting anywhere on any links with the 'search' button or anything, thank you. It's on at 4pm my time.

Like Grimey and puss, I don't want to watch, I have to. Heh :confused:

[Kristen (ColeysMom)]

I don't think the show has anything to do with poor mes...

I think I know what you are saying, but you can't be thinking like that...I know, I know...I have my days too...bawling & worrying...the hardest thing for me is family get togethers...watching all the kids have so much fun together, while Coley amuses himself with someTHING else. It makes me sad for him that he isn't enjoying people as much as he should, and then I can easily go to a place where I worry about friendships & relationships, etc. But I do my best to try not to sink to that place where I will just be a big bummer for him to be around (or anyone else for that matter).

I am also a shell of who I once was...it IS really hard to have someone be the absolute MOST important person in your life, a little guy that you would bleed ever drop for, and then have someone else treat you as though they are worthless...so what does that say about me????

I get it...and you are right, we are all of different means, and lord knows I could REALLY use a maid, even to just clean my bathroom & do my laundry would be an ENORMOUS help...and I could go back to work and probably afford that, but then I wouldn't be home with him and who in the world would give him what he needs???

They definately have wads of money that we don't have...I shutter to think about when I'm not around, or even his young adulthood...hell I'm scared to think about grammer school...it IS a different thing...and you are absolutely right about that difference...you could e-mail Oprah about it, because it's an AWESOME point 1/150, what WILL all these people do, because the VAST majority of them are not well to do!

But back to the show...from what I understand Jenny McCarthy is on a rampage to get to the source of the autisim epidemic...I don't know much about the other woman or her child, but I saw Jenny on the View once where she & Rosie made a pact to bring all the attention that they could to the problem...and Oprah is a good start with her...how many billion viewers!

I still think they can help us (even beyond bringing attention)...with all the cash they have, they could TOTALLY share secrets that we just don't have access to...if I knew one thing that would have a profound affect on Coley's development, and KNEW for sure that it would provide progress...I WOULD hoc my jewlery &/or sell my house...I've got one shot, so it would have to be a sure thing...or at least a pretty safe bet...cuz I won't get that chance again, ya know...they've done the hard work for us, likely trying EVERYthing...if they devulge their findings, we wouldn't have to ride the rollercoaster...just go straight for the big kahuna, ya know...

As for the Drs...well I don't know about you guys, I have no way to know who is better than another, except public information...and using that as a guide, I don't take no for an answer from my insurance company...I have no idea how much Coley has cost my insurance company, but it's likely pretty scary! His first year of life was $1Million after that I stopped adding it up.

My philosophy...get to the root of the problem, and the source of the financial burden ends...other than that therapies and constant follow-ups will bleed them dry. It's a pretty basic concept. And if I have to, I remind them of that! Having a good ped helps too! We used to have a pretty $hitty one...and honestly I don't think we'd be in 'this' shape today had he LISTENED! But that's a whole 'nother rant for a different say...but that is why his new ped & I don't let anything slide by now!

It's on here at 4pm too, I'll be watching for sure! Hope it's good!

[milivica]

Well, it wasn't awful, a couple of things Jenny said I really liked. Can't believe after all these years, Holly is buying into the "you only have a short time where there's a window" deal.

Not a syllable about RDI - I really need to get through to that Jenny girl, I think she'd get it.

OH cripe, there's no more link on to talk to them about autism (RDI).

If any of you can figure out a way, for me to contact that Jenny girl, please let me know. There's something about her, I think she'd get it, I think she could do a lot of good for kids on the spectrum.

Really pisses me off she gots a millionaire boyfriend, cripe sakes. Other than that (grrrrrrr) she was sensible, loved her idea about not having a one size fits all for vaccines.

Mili

[Kristen (ColeysMom)]

You know what's the CRAZIEST thing!!!

While reading the RDI communication stuff...I SWEAR to god, the image that popped into my head was to be as animated as Jim Carrie with voice & facial expressions! How ironic is THAT!

I bet he's AWESOME with her kid!!!!!

I'm going to check the link now...she said tonight, and I wonder if it's even been seen on the west coast yet...

be back in a minute...

KJ

[Kristen (ColeysMom)]

Oprah.com Message Boards

Thank you for your interest in the Oprah.com message boards. We know many of you want to talk to Jenny McCarthy and Holly Robinson Peete. Due to the huge response, our message boards are currently experiencing slowness. We're on it! The boards will be running smoothly again shortly. We appreciate your patience!

Keep Checking...plus there's this message under Jenny's picture
Check Back Soon!
Come back to Oprah.com later today for more information.

[milivica]

Yeah, I've been getting errors for 1/2 hour now. I keep clicking 'refresh' and so on. Now there's a new message saying there's an error in my request. Grrrr. Here's the actual addy http://www.oprah.com/community/thread/1812 , I even tried punching in 1813, 1814, 1815, up to 20...keep getting the same message.

Ya know, can you imagine what ****** could do, to get a LAW that there must be RDI Trained staff in all schools, not that that will help dietary issues, but, that is something a parent can do on their own - and yes it's a struggle, I did it for 3 1/2 years. I'm about ready to rev up to try the fructose thing you do. I mean what the heck, what if there's a big difference?

Remind me about Coley...I know I've already asked. He was a premie, but born nt, yes? Vince was born with autism, I mean right off, he freaked, only wanted to try and focus on the light above my bed in the hospital...finally, unable to sooth him, I set him down to use the bathroom...as long as he was on the bed UNtouched, and staring at the fluorescent light, he was fine. Touch, mommy's face in his face, forget it.

Anyhow, just trust me, he was BORN with autism, he's gotten better over the years, but never can I 'touch' him like I do Carmen, both mentally and physically, there's that wall there. Not totally sure how many of the bricks at this point are his, or mine - when I helped create 'vince world', the only world we could all survive in around here.

[Jamies Mommy]

If any of you can figure out a way, for me to contact that Jenny girl, please let me know. There's something about her, I think she'd get it, I think she could do a lot of good for kids on the spectrum.

Really pisses me off she gots a millionaire boyfriend, cripe sakes. Other than that (grrrrrrr) she was sensible, loved her idea about not having a one size fits all for vaccines.

Mili

Mili,
Jenny is a the spokesperson for TACA Talk About Curing Autism perhaps you can reach her through their website
www.tacanow.org

[milivica]

OH Thank YOU!

I'm STILL, trying to post on Oprah...I posted 10 messages, then the puter would say 'error'.

Yes, I'll email her. I'll know if my email actually got through to the Oprah forum thing, cause I posted my email.

And please, no one tell me all the reasons I shouldn't have. It is my MORAL obligation, I not subjecting myself to crucifiction here, it's an honor to be able to try and be helpful. So no neigh sayers please.

Except GrimeyGuts - gotta keep that old 'game' going between us here, keep the place amusing ;) through the stress.

[milivica]

sorry, I'm a bit tapped out...frustrated I wasted 3.5 hours...talk to you guys later. I fine! just darn crabby. Grimey better have something 'snappy' for me ;) to perk me up.

[milivica]

Holy cow...I posted on Oprah - though I have no idea how to 'join' a live discussion, the ladies could be writing me back right now, how would I see it? It's not like our chat room

Omg, and I sent the email intended for Jenny, so it starts like "Dear Jenny, I couldn't get through on Oprah, here is a copy of my email"

DUH!

Ok, off I go - better mood now.

[Kristen (ColeysMom)]

DAMN! I wanted to post, I wanted to talk to you guys...DH had to work an extra shift tonight and the kids gave me a run for my money...I'm SPENT!

I finally got onto the board and could see 49 pages of posts, then Audrey started...I don't have the patience to read anything right now...poop!

Anyhow...Mili, I'd love to read your e-mail to Jenny...I'm sure she'll understand about posting, don't worry about that!

But I gotta go to bed...catch ya tomorrow!

KJ

[milivica]

Ok, I can't even find my email to Jenny!!!!! Cripe that Oprah site is tough! I posted as Milivica, so you all will know me there. But, here is my post, and I hope it's good, inspirational, just hope it helps moms to find what I have found with RDI. Here's my response to the emails I'm getting (I posted my email on Oprah, no neg. comments allowed, I know it's crazy - I didn't want to, I HAD to).

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thank you so much for writing. I'm going to do my utmost, to describe to you, that which is so intangible.

Diets and all other valid biomedical interventions aside, I want to encourage everyone, to do the one thing it seems no one is doing with autistics - helping them gain function.

There were two doctors, a husband and wife. They read through gobs of books on typical child development, to try and figure out what 'milestones' do not develop or develop poorly for our children on the spectrum...as well as what develops, then is lost. It's so intangible it's hard to describe, but, they isolated several aspects of development that pertain to ALL people on the spectrum. Instead of creating a world your child can tolerate (picture schedules, driving the same way everywhere every time, manually explaining rules of politeness to no avail, never ever ever moving the toaster to avoid the inevitable meltdown, etc...) what this intervention does, is build the neurological deficits your child has. For instance, if there are 100 milestones typical children develop, well, your asd child has developed 95 - and those 5 - effect everything in his life. Sort of like 5 weak links in a much larger (neurological) chain.

I swear to you, this works for every child, because it's not for 'autistic' development, it is typical development children without autism gain automatically, packaged in a way children with autism can gain from manually - with you as their guide. Look on google or ask jeeves for negative feedback, you won't find it, not by anyone that did the program (all the way, not half hearted).

The program is called RDI, it stands for Relationship Development Intervention. It's the first thing in my life, that was not bull. The site is www.rdiconnect.com . I thought the site looked like flowery promises from yet another doc that would profit off my kid's autism - it is not. No need to mention my name, cause I'm just another parent in the program, that has worked miracles for my child, and to my surprise - worked miracles for me. Not just in the new world RDI has opened for me, but for the first time in 11 years with my son, I feel like his MOM, not his teacher - scientist - researcher - dietician - therapist, but his MOM. And a competent mom at that. I call that a miracle. You know how the Crocodile Hunter was about crocs? That's about how enthusiastic I am, about RDI. Which, anyone would be after searching a life time, and finding answers and direction at last.

Two years ago, I was at last considering an institution, for fear of my other child's life, I won't go into detail, it was horrible facing that decision, having been in those places myself as a child. I do not have what would be called a high functioning or compliant child, by any means. It was horrible for so many years, for so long I felt like a head on collision with a semi that careened into my lane, might be for the best for us all. Dark, dark days. Now, I have nothing but hope. HOPE, real actual hope, after all these years being told he'll need residential, will need heavy antipsychotics for the rest of his life, cripe I believed it all, thought they were experts - and being on the spectrum myself, it was a unfortunate case of the blind trying to lead the blind.

Yours is the first email I got, so the first I responded to. I hope it's ok, I plan to copy and paste this to everyone as I expect a large response. I know how crazy it was, to put my email on Oprah, but finding 'sanity' for the first time, with RDI, well I can't forget where I came from, those dark desperate crazy days of not only being a parent of a child with autism, but having survived autism myself. I don't want my kid to survive autism, I want him to be a kid, have a childhood, have friends, a productive job and loving wife - and have lots of grandkids. NOT to much to ask, anymore.

I hope all of this will make sense, I totally stink at summarizing. As I said, giving out my email on Oprah might be crazy, but as person on the spectrum, doing what is 'right' means everything to me. I speak to you, as a mother with a child on the spectrum, who now sees a real 'life' for my child. One in which HE gets to make the choices about his present and future, not some overworked frustrated low paid worker in a ward where fear and pain are the only constant, in my child's life, someday when he is grown and I am gone.

Give the concept of your child gaining FUNCTION, instead of skills, a chance to sink in...it is a very difficult concept, all therapies focus on skill, not function - gee why didn't I ever wonder, why my kid was sitting at a table 35 hours a week, being 'taught' to stack blocks without a meltdown - heck he could stack blocks, why teach him that, why teach him blind compliance? I don't want him to be all other and no self, that's all blind compliance will lead to, that and frustration, depression and likely self abusive behaviors for an outlet. When you are typical, and have had 'function' since birth that has developed automatically.

I would HIGHLY recommend, going to that site, and getting a better sense of what RDI is, and find a RDI consultant in your state. When I got a consultant, there was no waiting list, dunno if it will be the same for you. At our first meeting, it was like for the first time ever ever EVER, I was taken by the hand and told, "your son has autism, ok, here's what you do...." and week by week, have received guidance. RDI is paid for by many insurances, as for us our son is on disability so the state pays for his RDI because it is proven, and progress is documented. You send tapes to your consultant every other week, to make sure you are helping your child gain function, not 'skills'.

Back to 'function', the crux of RDI...it’s important to know the difference between functions and skills. You might think you are “doing RDI” if a child is participating in an activity, but if the child is just “doing the activity” and not developing positive episodic(emotional) memories, then it’s likely they are just practicing skills or going through the motions, as I suspect Jenny's son might have done with her example about throwing the ball...that is not developing functions. See? Is her son referencing her face? Is he noticing weather she is interested in the game or not, or is she merely a 'receiver' and 'thrower'. A child on the spectrum can mirror typical behavior, they cannot share themselves by imitation though. Do not worry if your child is so called 'low functioning'. In RDI, there is no such thing, you work on the function deficient in ALL persons on the spectrum. And relax, guess what, there is no 'window of opportunity'. If there were, I'd not have made the progress I have, starting at almost 42 years old. I am not the oldest either! I have no idea where this 'window of opportunity' stuff started, the brain is not solid, neurology is not concrete....when an older person has a stroke, they can relearn things, develop new neurology to speak, move limbs, they're not 'too old'. Well, autism is neurological, create better neurological 'function' and you automatically gain the skills....like a stroke patient learns to talk, move their arms, your child learns to enjoy a game with you because you're having fun both contributing to the activity, or enjoy a conversation because you're both sharing feelings and thoughts and ideas, not cause a conversation is an opportunity for your kid to unload every fact he knows about dinosaurs, the epidermis, or cheese - completely unaware of weather you are interested or not.

Here is an example from the RDI site:

[milivica]

For example, a compliant child might “go through the motions” without any real sense of joy, competence, or meaning. They might be able to toss a ball back and forth, without sensing any enjoyment or competence in doing so. In other words, they may be emotionally flat, just going through the motions, rather than actively engaging with a reciprocal social partner. To use another term, skills without functions tend to be “instrumental” – that is, practiced without an “experience sharing” focus. Some examples of skills without functions:

* A child playing “patty-cake,” going through the routine and getting the actions and words right, with no sense of fun or dynamic interaction.

* Being able to read but not understanding the meaning of what is being read (this is seen in hyperlexia, for example).

* Talking in sentences but not understanding that one of the purposes of conversation is to share experiences.

* Going to a party and making sure to greet all the other guests and say the “right thing” but not enjoying oneself or relaxing.

* Having instrumental social skills such as greeting guests, but not being able to participate in relationships that involve co-regulation.

* Knowing the words to a song but not being able to enjoy singing it with another person.

* One that Dr. Gutstein has used in workshops: Being able to tell a joke but not realizing that the purpose of a joke is to share laughter.

In general, people who have developed skills without functions can be:

Compliant but not interactive

Capable but not purposeful

Knowledgeable without applying their knowledge to practical situations (especially social situations)

Knows the “rules” but not the point of an activity

Two other sites...one I post on constantly, for 7 years here http://brain.hastypastry.net/forums/index.php you'll have to register, it's all free. We're totally broke, so if I recommend it it's either free or paid for by the state or insurance.

Another person I completely admire, had done several videos on YouTube, to to www.youtube.com and look up silentmiaow and be sure to see at least her interview on CNN as well as her video about being an UNperson. She's wonderful.

Finding RDI, was like finding a lake of cool clear water after dying of thirst (for answers for my son, and myself) all these years. I see others, dying of thirst the same way I was, I can't take everyone to my lake, but I can at least give a map. When you get a blessing like getting your child back, that is a blessing that must be shared, or luck that must be shared depending on your beliefs. That's what posting my private email on Oprah (probably a little crazy) was about, sharing RDI, my moral obligation. If you are in Illinois, my consultant is the BEST, I cannot vouch for every consultant obviously. The program however, the RDI itself, is the first sound real thing I've ever found that works. I would absolutely pursue biomedical interventions, RDI will not cure epilepsy, food allergies, etc... But there is NOTHING out there, what so ever, that help children on the spectrum gain function, gain developmental milestones.

I have no idea why the whole world, isn't talking about RDI. I'm guessing cause the doc's that created it, have a patten on it, so other's can't profit, just them.

What I do know, is because of RDI, now I'm a mom with a son. Not a mom on the spectrum with a kid on the spectrum. Not a mom worrying 24/7 about what he'll do when I'm dead someday, where he'll wind up, how he'll be treated, how he'll be mistreated. He has a true chance now, a real chance at everything I ever dreamed for him. Oh we still have a ways to go, RDI is about development, so like with typical kids, isn't a quick fix, milestones take time of course. But what it's exactly like, even though he's 11, it's as if someone has handed my baby back to me, and I get to raise him finally, as a my son with nothing but hope in his future.

My very best to you,
From the bottom of my heart,
Milivica

[NTLegend]

I guess you haven't ever heard that saying, "Money can't buy happiness"

Oh, but maybe you have. So . . . have you heard about rich people not necessarily being happy either?

Well, then, here it is:

"Money doesn't always bring happiness. People with ten million dollars are no happier than people with nine million dollars."

:D :D

[tgrimes]

sorry, I'm a bit tapped out...frustrated I wasted 3.5 hours...talk to you guys later. I fine! just darn crabby. Grimey better have something 'snappy' for me ;) to perk me up.

Aww, I don't have anything. I was crabby too, but for no good reason I had a good day.
I see you are talking R-ay-Deeay-Iay for everyone again, so i'll have to bug you on that!

[Kristen (ColeysMom)]

Mili, my eye's are crossing...I'm sorry, thanks for being SO quick to respond, but I gotta hit the hay! I'll read it tomorrow, K...

BTW - did you check out Jenny's other site? I gotta do that tomorrow too....

Night!

[milivica]

Money doesn't always bring happiness.

NT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes, I've heard that. What ever idiot wrote that wasn't looking at his checking account with MY balance in it!

Seriously, I get that saying sometimes, but well mostly, no. Or at least I'd like to test that little 'theory'.

I will say, RDI is the first time I ever felt RICH RICH RICH.

And I'm thinking RDI is the first time Grimey felt like she wanted to KILL KILL KILL.
(she is up to here [holding my hand over my eyebrows] with hearing about RDI)

Look on www.rdiconnect.com

You are truly your username, an NT legend. Take time to look at, investigate, scrutinize, and tell me what you think.

[tgrimes]

I got one:
"money doesn't bring happiness but it sure buys your choice of misery"
I forget who said that, I will look it up tomorrow.

[NTLegend]

The saying that I posted is . . .

"Money doesn't always bring happiness. People with ten million dollars are no happier than people with nine million dollars."

[Uh, it's supposed to be funny. You know, a joke . . . !?! ] And by the way, not all that NT and never was.

I think RDI makes a lot of sense. If I weren't so preoccupied with other things, I would absolutely sit down and learn all about it. Actually, I should -- because I keep shooting myself in the foot with (grown) kids, plus other assorted folks. Hmm. Maybe I will . . . after we get back from our next trip.

Does anyone live in New York? Boston? Newport, Rhode Island? Montreal? (We'll be traveling up the East coast . . . and ending up in Montreal, then back down to NYC by train.)

[milivica]

Holy cow, yeah you're right, I didn't really read it. Gotcha.

I'm in Wisconsin, darn!

[Jamies Mommy]

Mili,
In case you don't get to Jenny through the Oprah site she will also be on the following shows

09/21/07 ABC’s 20/20
09/24/07 Good Morning America
09/25/07 The View
09/26/07 Larry King

You Go Girl!

[Kristen (ColeysMom)]

Hey check this out: http://www.comcast.net/entertainment/index.jsp?cat=ENTERTAINMENT&fn=/2007/09/20/768815.html&cvqh=itn_carrey

Mili, BTW - They are removing posts with links and personal info, so your RDI post and the other about civil rights is likely gone.

[milivica]

Uh, thanks JamiesMom, I was uh, wondering what to do in between bon bons. Ok, seriously now...I will be only too happy to do that. What I'd really like to do is figure out how to just get through to Jim Carey - I know lots about his bio, I really think he'd get RDI. He was alllll into those self help books etc...

And cripe, I can't believe how old he looks, bad doo for him too. Doesn't matter I know. OH - I have to ask, was anyone bothered, by Jenny's concern about finding a boyfriend, like, my husband, marriage, none of that mattered I was so crazed. My married life is still on hold, so to speak, I have no effort or focus on it. Then again, I never needed that 'shared emotion' type of stuff. I can tolerate and even enjoy it now, like on our vacation - but it's like I can't do two things at once, I'm a mother first. Wife-ing is secondary, that means cleaning, cooking, etc... all the stuff 'good' wives do. I'm like the emotional foundation of this family, not the scheduled organized foundation or anything.

Trying to actively seek out folks to tell about RDI, is something I do and have done so continually, it's waring on me. Almost like it wares on me to try and GET help for Vince and never get it, it's waring to try and GIVE help - I know I'm right, for the first time ever ever ever. And maybe I'm just getting pms-y, but I'm kind of getting tired of feeling like I'm forcing it down folks throats cause I know once they get it, it will forever better their lives and the lives of their kids, and the families they tell.

It's like, I'm bad at drawing the line. I spent what, 3 and a half hours getting that post to oprah, got three replys cause it got buried, then removed I suppose cause yes I had links on the site.

If someone knows HOW to really get in touch with someone that wants to try RDI, I'll be there, no sweat. But, I dunno, guess I got my big lake almost to myself for now. Bummer, it's so much more fun to give and share and watch kids blossom.