stickman
09-17-2007, 01:10 PM
I PULLED THE OFF OF ONE OF MY WIFES BLOGS.
Where do you start in the telling of a downward spiral? You are helpless from the moment you enter the reality of the disease, whether denial is present or not. The surface is smooth and the slide is so quick, it is easy for people to disbelieve. My hub is 6 foot 3 inches when he stands tall. He has long dark curls that are the bain of his mother and father’s existence. He has a beard and mustache, long slender fingers with a silver wedding band he has worn for 26+ years and a heart that beats only for me. Statistics woo us with numbers; how many spouses stay with their disabled partner; what is the divorce rate or survival rate of any relationship where one person is sick and the other is healthy? Particularly M S. This has become my specialty. I am a surviving spouse. It is one day at a time. It is one moment at a time. I live for 10 minutes each day when we eat together and he will talk about anything but his pain. Now and then I get my old sweetheart back. He will hug and kiss me, asking “ Are you doing alright, kid?”. Oh yes, right now, I’m alright. As soon as he walks away, I lose him. Today he was curled into a ball, sobbing and crying for relief. Everything hurts! Take the pain away from anything, he cried. Make the doctors do something, he screamed. I won’t go to emergency. I won’t go anywhere!!! Why me?! He thrashed on the bed until I thought he would hurt himself. He was sweating, great drops of water rolling off his forehead, down his back. Tears the size of pearls, streaming from his eyes, eyes that were tormented with pain. The last time he went to the neuro, he threatened to reduce his patch in half and take away his pain pills. What kind of doctor does this?! How is that easing the pain and anxiety of a sick man? Or his wife. They push the drugs at him, all the new market, high price sellers that no one really knows what the long term effects are. People are in such pain they will take anything as soon as they can get it. His doctor is mad that he gets online to Boston Hospital and reads what the drugs are doing to him. The long term use of certain drugs cause anger, hostility and edginess to increase. He went for almost 2 years angry at everyone. He weaned himself off one drug, then two, then the doc would put him on something else and he’d read up on it and stop it again. Not to say that what he was doing is right, but is what the doc doing right either? This one doesn’t work, try this one.... The one drug that can ease pain and anxiety, that doesn’t kill your kidneys or put money in the drug company’s pocket and it is outlawed. How incredibly stupid are we? Marijuana is not a drug for kids anymore. It is for the people who are dying from disease, heart attacks and fear of their world. My brothers would have died on meth and the government wouldn’t have cared, but they will ruin families, good people because of possession of this substance. It does not lead to other drugs. It is NOT addictive. It does not do anything to you that you do not already have in you. By this I mean if you are lazy, no good , do nothing SOB, then you will be a HIGH, lazy, no good, do nothing SOB. I smoked pot for 20 years. I raised 2 healthy boys, got good grades and a degree from the local college and almost finished 4 years in education, but for the disease. I worked for lawyers, waited tables, counted money at the bank and managed retail stores. I smoked pot in my spare time. I was catcher for 3 different baseball teams and could catch a ball between my knees, and still I smoked pot whenever there was a joint to be passed. But my poor sweet darling sick man cannot get a joint to ease his suffering without risking everything we have. When we were young and healthy, we didn’t care so much and the laws weren’t quite so strange. Now, the thing that will ease the stress and loosen his taut sick muscles is a blown up, out of proportion crusade by the government to deprive sick people of a drug that has the LEAST amount of risk of all. We are all so tired of taking care of our loved ones and trying to make a living, that we don’t have the energy to protest. The older generations believe the lies about pot. The younger generations laugh. They have drugs that will eat at your brain for the rest of your life and all the government cares about is if a few stalks of maryjane slide from one state to another. This did not start out as a crusade for pot, mostly a vent for the horrible day I had. I am unemployed, caring for a very sick man and desperate for a day that will have laughter and fun in it again. Desperate for a day when I will not hear or read about another sick
Where do you start in the telling of a downward spiral? You are helpless from the moment you enter the reality of the disease, whether denial is present or not. The surface is smooth and the slide is so quick, it is easy for people to disbelieve. My hub is 6 foot 3 inches when he stands tall. He has long dark curls that are the bain of his mother and father’s existence. He has a beard and mustache, long slender fingers with a silver wedding band he has worn for 26+ years and a heart that beats only for me. Statistics woo us with numbers; how many spouses stay with their disabled partner; what is the divorce rate or survival rate of any relationship where one person is sick and the other is healthy? Particularly M S. This has become my specialty. I am a surviving spouse. It is one day at a time. It is one moment at a time. I live for 10 minutes each day when we eat together and he will talk about anything but his pain. Now and then I get my old sweetheart back. He will hug and kiss me, asking “ Are you doing alright, kid?”. Oh yes, right now, I’m alright. As soon as he walks away, I lose him. Today he was curled into a ball, sobbing and crying for relief. Everything hurts! Take the pain away from anything, he cried. Make the doctors do something, he screamed. I won’t go to emergency. I won’t go anywhere!!! Why me?! He thrashed on the bed until I thought he would hurt himself. He was sweating, great drops of water rolling off his forehead, down his back. Tears the size of pearls, streaming from his eyes, eyes that were tormented with pain. The last time he went to the neuro, he threatened to reduce his patch in half and take away his pain pills. What kind of doctor does this?! How is that easing the pain and anxiety of a sick man? Or his wife. They push the drugs at him, all the new market, high price sellers that no one really knows what the long term effects are. People are in such pain they will take anything as soon as they can get it. His doctor is mad that he gets online to Boston Hospital and reads what the drugs are doing to him. The long term use of certain drugs cause anger, hostility and edginess to increase. He went for almost 2 years angry at everyone. He weaned himself off one drug, then two, then the doc would put him on something else and he’d read up on it and stop it again. Not to say that what he was doing is right, but is what the doc doing right either? This one doesn’t work, try this one.... The one drug that can ease pain and anxiety, that doesn’t kill your kidneys or put money in the drug company’s pocket and it is outlawed. How incredibly stupid are we? Marijuana is not a drug for kids anymore. It is for the people who are dying from disease, heart attacks and fear of their world. My brothers would have died on meth and the government wouldn’t have cared, but they will ruin families, good people because of possession of this substance. It does not lead to other drugs. It is NOT addictive. It does not do anything to you that you do not already have in you. By this I mean if you are lazy, no good , do nothing SOB, then you will be a HIGH, lazy, no good, do nothing SOB. I smoked pot for 20 years. I raised 2 healthy boys, got good grades and a degree from the local college and almost finished 4 years in education, but for the disease. I worked for lawyers, waited tables, counted money at the bank and managed retail stores. I smoked pot in my spare time. I was catcher for 3 different baseball teams and could catch a ball between my knees, and still I smoked pot whenever there was a joint to be passed. But my poor sweet darling sick man cannot get a joint to ease his suffering without risking everything we have. When we were young and healthy, we didn’t care so much and the laws weren’t quite so strange. Now, the thing that will ease the stress and loosen his taut sick muscles is a blown up, out of proportion crusade by the government to deprive sick people of a drug that has the LEAST amount of risk of all. We are all so tired of taking care of our loved ones and trying to make a living, that we don’t have the energy to protest. The older generations believe the lies about pot. The younger generations laugh. They have drugs that will eat at your brain for the rest of your life and all the government cares about is if a few stalks of maryjane slide from one state to another. This did not start out as a crusade for pot, mostly a vent for the horrible day I had. I am unemployed, caring for a very sick man and desperate for a day that will have laughter and fun in it again. Desperate for a day when I will not hear or read about another sick