I am no longer a victim I am a survivor

[Kashis]

I have one thing to say if you put them in jail one time and they don't learn by the programs there not going to learn get the hell out

I have a complicated brain injury I was abused all my life from family members thinking all this was ok and went on to get married and be abused thinking its all ok I was part of a cycle I finally broke some aren't as fortunate

I am now living with a disabiltily independence gone and I am still a survivor
You don't have to take it and shouldn't I almost died I had 40 head injuries since age 2 and 9 yrs ago almost died due to being head butted 21 times till black out couldn't see for 2 weeks this still affects my life today

Never say its your fault these people have problems and need help most of the time they also come from a cycle this is a disease a sickness and if there not willing to fix it get the heck out

I beg this because I never want to see anyone be me now I may be a survivor but everytime my brain swells I remember I have dealt with this by poetry counsling etc.... Get help Your worth something your worth alot and your children don't need to grow up thinking this is ok what would you do when there wife calls 20 yrs later as your child beat on them or got beat they start to think its normal you say oh I wouldn't let it happen to my child but if your being abused in front of your children this is what your teaching them oh it happens its ok ITS NOT

ITS NOT OK FOR ANYONE TO HURT YOU STOP THE ABUSE DEAD IN ITS TRACKS DO WHAT YOU CAN TO BECOME A SURVIVOR AND NO LONGER A VICTIM MENTAL ABUSE IS STILL ABUSE AND SOMETIME THE SCARS FROM THIS ARE WORSE THEN PHYSICAL SCARS GO AWAY MEMORIES LAST FOREVER THIS ISN'T WHAT ANYONE NEEDS WANTS OR DESERVES



I used to have lots of posts on this sight and there gone since the big crash but I am here to give strength to those who need it when i can please listen to me I lived it I tell my girls don't become a me

hope this makes a difference as if i can change one persons life i have made a difference STOP THE VIOLENCE

[Buttons2]

Welcome back Krissi,we need the survivor's here to encourage those being abused......ultimately they have to want to live & believe somehow that they do matter.

My sister is in an abusive relationship,I cannot help her,she's still in denial. What you said in the first sentence was so right-if you put them in jail,well she actually went to court to prevent him being jailed! I gave up @ that point. How many times can someone listen to "oh,he's changed! he won't hurt me again" The next time she might not be saying anything,and the family will be planning a funeral.

Sometimes the will to survive comes too late. I certainly hope this forum is helping someone out there right this minute to decide they have value & worth & there's a life out there for them if they choose to try it.

Gentle HUGS to you!
Buttons

[81 cherries]

oh my gosh, this brought me to tears.

i was in an abusive relationship for 2 years. the first 6 months were okay, then he lost his job and SNAPPED!!
I thought it was because he was loving me too much and he was "just being my man" but i was so wrong!!

while we were living together, one night, we were arguing and he told me to go home. i said i would but he would not give me the keys to the car (which we both paid for) anyways, we started fighting. he threw me around like i was trash!! that night, i ended up in the hospital. brused tail bone, muscle spasms and the worst pain ever!! when the cops came in to ask what happened...i said "i fell".

I WILL NEVER BE THAT STUPID AGAIN!!!

i knew then that it was time for me to go. i was so scared to leave because i knew that if i was to tell him that i didn't want to be with him anymore, he would get me.

so i lied. i told him that my mother was sick and that i needed to go see her and take care of her.

that's the only way i could get away.

it's been 3 years. i'm happy, healthy (besides the diabetes) and in a wonderful relationship with someone very special.

so, to all the survivors out there...smile...you're worth it!!

to all those still going through all the hurt and heartache...it's not worth it!! get out before it's too late. i'm willing to be you sick "friend" that needs taking care of...anything to save yourself!!

[joy]

That statement It won't happen in a family of mine. I saw it before and it's NOT happening again. Well, just talk! This comes out of my son in laws mother's mouth many times. She saw it at home, they repeated it at their home I'm sure. It is a hard cycle to break!

Just one head butt is why I suspect my daughter has seziures as well. But can't be proved but at least I did say it in front of doctors who took note of it. I was surprised to see a post that I had made last year pop back up. I check in here sometimes but usually just stay quiet. It dwells on my mind enough, you know what I mean.

But I am so happy for those of you that do get out and stay out. And thamk you for coming back here to encourage others to do the same. You never know just what might be reading what you say that will strike a chord or make someone identify with and help them think GET OUT themselves.

[Kashis]

I was put in a position and think the good lord was watching that night if I didn't press charges he was going to jail for second degree attempted murder so this was the choice I was left with

I thought of course of my children and such but he called me and said I have a problem I need help if I get the help can we try again I agreed he went through almost a year of programs and wanted to prove to me an himself I think that he did need this no its not right to go back in my case

I was one of the fourtunate there are only a small few that can do this I forgot the staticsitcs they were on oprah but I am happy to say I haven't been touched in 9 yrs so this is awesome he seen what it was doing to the kids and I think the charges terrified him I am never saying go back but he was man enough to admit a problem it wasn't the usual I am sorry it won't happen again this time he called out for help I prayed alot I am just greatful now that he did this and the good lord watches out for me


I never want anyone to say its ok to go back its alright the courts need to intervine its not there responsibility but its a place to start and the help is what matters

I sure understand denial but I never denied I reached out for help and was told this kinda stuff happens now I found out why they were all being abused and all I got from my motherinlaw was don't say I didn't warn you to this day mind you this lady is still beaten never reached for help thats the problem you get to scarred I did go for help but got drunk was about it that night it took a friend to come see my face to make it possible we sat across the street from my home and watched 6 cops go in and take him out in his jeans and cuffs from a dead sleep he didn't know it was coming I cried of course but the next day when I couldn't see anything I knew I had a good friend that helped me do the right thing

Sad part is she was also being abused and her abusive husband was with her still makes no sence maybe she also wanted to teach him it wasn't going to happen no more but she was still abused after this so its just strange maybe through me she was trying to ask for help I just don't know


I had lots of people watching out for me after that and didn't trust him for years and just recently when we found I had a complicated brain injury I had to start asking him why and all that came to mind but this time I lashed our with no fear this time he knew if he hurt me I could die and that sits in the back of his mind and I confronted him over and over I blamed him he wanted to blame us and I said no way in hell it was you all you never blame me for the damage you have done to me I still have bouts with him on this as I suffer the rest of my life if you read my poem you will know my thoughts

I AGAIN WAS LUCKY I STILL SAY GET OUT BEFORE YOU BECOME ME ITS NOT WORTH IT

I can't even watch movies that have abuse in them as it just kills me inside not even a drama its all comedy here I have to let the past go now as its over no more pain well I shouldn't say that but no more physical pain

I will never hesitate to pick up that phone if this happens thing is I won't ever let it happen again there are signs and they can be seen i will get the heck out for good this time it sits in the back of my mind but i leave it there now that its been so long


Lots of women are afraid if they call these men will come back restraining orders don't work etc... excuse after excuse over and over again or the big he will kill me if I call the cops HELLO WHAT DO YAH THINK HE IS DOING NOW I don't understand as I said I reached out for help so many times and no one wanted to help me so I had accepted it there are so many stories I posted I wish they were still here in such detail its how I released but now there are alot of programs out there and to this day I carry a card for help if such thing happens to anyone else

This is so making me cry as I lived it and just don't know how to explain it any better the cycle won't stop until its stopped I see it this way if your with someone who has been in and out of jail they don't care if they go back or not plain and simple as that

I have a hard time reading the stories of abuse here because people are reaching for help but don't accept it I want to see more posts like mine not those that are still victims taking it and not getiting the picture its like this WHAT PART OF GET THE HELL OUT DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND plain an simple

go to a family memebers change your phone number whatever you can they can't touch you unless you choose to go back for more you get so used to it its becomes normal I have to stop now as beyond crying I am getting frustrated and if I do this my brain will swell which isn't good for me

I will keep posting the positive as much as I can Hugs and healing Krissi


Hugs and healing Krissi

[81 cherries]

Right On!!! I am proud of you...all of you...I AM PROUD OF MYSELF...and that's not an easy thing to say after coming from where I've been!! If anyone out there wants to talk, or needs to vent...or anything, PM me and I'll give you my number. I know it's hard, but I am here.

[Kashis]

Thank you you made me smile you know since things got better I have learned self esteem and self confidence and I tell you what you said brought a tear to my eye as now I understand which back in the day I never would have you touched me and I always say if I can touch just one person I made a difference THANK YOU;)

[81 cherries]

From one survivor to the other...it's to be expected!! you don't have to thank me...thank GOD!!