XTinaMarie474
09-16-2007, 08:16 PM
Hi Everyone,
I just found this forum and decided to tell my story.
Four years ago I became severely depressed (won't go into details). I checked myself into the psych unit at the local hospital and was there for a week. While I was there I was much better, but once I got back home to "REAL LIFE" all the stress hit me again and I went downhill again.
I was seeing a psychiatrist and a therapist, was taking my medications religiously, but nothing was helping. I was a mess. Crying all the time, shaking, anxious, sad, felt horrible, got about 4 hours of sleep a night, could barely eat - maybe once every 4 or 5 days (I lost 7 lbs ina week and I was only 120lbs to start with), was totally stressed out.
I told my therapist I was suicidal. She said "Suicide isn't the answer" and had me sign one of those agreements. That's it.
One day at work I began feeling light-headed and dizzy - like I was going to pass out, so my employer called an ambulance to take me to the ER. I had them take me to the hospital where I had spent a week in the psych ward. They said I felt bad from the lithium I was on. (I think it was from the combination of stress, not sleeping and not eating) The psychiatrist came in and I told him that I was not getting better, was much worse than when I was admitted to the hospital, that I couldn't go on like this. He told me to follow up with my psychiatrist the next day about my lithium level and sent me home.
The next night I overdosed on Xanax, Vicodin, Klonopin, and Flexeril. I was found by a neighbor 14 hours later and rushed to the ER. Once I woke - 36 hours after the overdose - they realized that I couldn't move anything except my left arm. They did an MRI and found that I had a spinal cord injury. I was tranferred to another hospital where they decided that the spinal cord injury was most likely caused by a severe drop in my blood pressure - most likely my blood pressure was down to 30 over palpable. I had an ischemic, or watershed, stroke in my spinal cord. Meaning that not enough blood got to that part of my spinal cord so it died.
I was paralyzed from my shoulders down, except for a little movement in my left arm. I am a quadriplegic. I had been so depressed that I tried to take my own life only to wake up and find that not only was I still alive, but now my life was going to be much worse!!!
Thankfully I have recovered enough to walk with a cane, but still have many problems associated with spinal cord injuries. I continued taking medications, seeing a therapist and a psychiatrist for a few years after and now no longer feel I need it. I am still sad about my problems but no longer depressed like I was.
The thing that really upsets me is that I was doing all the things I was supposed to do. I was taking my medications, seeing a therapist once, if not twice, a week, seeing a psychiatrist. I told 2 different psychiatrists that I was suicidal and they did NOTHING!!!!! Where else do you turn? What do you do? Aren't the doctors there for a reason? Isn't it their job to help you? What the heck are they getting paid for, then? When you are at the end of your rope and are turned away by the doctors that are supposed to help you, what are you supposed to think? They knew that there is a high chance of someone attempting suicide in the first 6 weeks after starting psychiatric medications, yet they did not take me seriously!
I have a lawsuit against the doctor and the hospital where I had the ER visit the day before, but the doctor did not note what I had said to him in the notes, so according to the "Standard of Care" he was not under obligation to do anything!!! He will not settle the case because he does not want to be reported for malpractice. So I will be going ahead with a trial, although my chances aren't good for getting any kind of compensation. Meanwhile, my medical costs just go higher and higher - $400,000 just in the first 4 years!
And for those of you who think overdosing is "safe", like I did, think again. You don't want to wake up from a suicide attempt to be paralyzed, do you?
Good luck, everyone. I hope things get better for all of you!
Tina
MI
I just found this forum and decided to tell my story.
Four years ago I became severely depressed (won't go into details). I checked myself into the psych unit at the local hospital and was there for a week. While I was there I was much better, but once I got back home to "REAL LIFE" all the stress hit me again and I went downhill again.
I was seeing a psychiatrist and a therapist, was taking my medications religiously, but nothing was helping. I was a mess. Crying all the time, shaking, anxious, sad, felt horrible, got about 4 hours of sleep a night, could barely eat - maybe once every 4 or 5 days (I lost 7 lbs ina week and I was only 120lbs to start with), was totally stressed out.
I told my therapist I was suicidal. She said "Suicide isn't the answer" and had me sign one of those agreements. That's it.
One day at work I began feeling light-headed and dizzy - like I was going to pass out, so my employer called an ambulance to take me to the ER. I had them take me to the hospital where I had spent a week in the psych ward. They said I felt bad from the lithium I was on. (I think it was from the combination of stress, not sleeping and not eating) The psychiatrist came in and I told him that I was not getting better, was much worse than when I was admitted to the hospital, that I couldn't go on like this. He told me to follow up with my psychiatrist the next day about my lithium level and sent me home.
The next night I overdosed on Xanax, Vicodin, Klonopin, and Flexeril. I was found by a neighbor 14 hours later and rushed to the ER. Once I woke - 36 hours after the overdose - they realized that I couldn't move anything except my left arm. They did an MRI and found that I had a spinal cord injury. I was tranferred to another hospital where they decided that the spinal cord injury was most likely caused by a severe drop in my blood pressure - most likely my blood pressure was down to 30 over palpable. I had an ischemic, or watershed, stroke in my spinal cord. Meaning that not enough blood got to that part of my spinal cord so it died.
I was paralyzed from my shoulders down, except for a little movement in my left arm. I am a quadriplegic. I had been so depressed that I tried to take my own life only to wake up and find that not only was I still alive, but now my life was going to be much worse!!!
Thankfully I have recovered enough to walk with a cane, but still have many problems associated with spinal cord injuries. I continued taking medications, seeing a therapist and a psychiatrist for a few years after and now no longer feel I need it. I am still sad about my problems but no longer depressed like I was.
The thing that really upsets me is that I was doing all the things I was supposed to do. I was taking my medications, seeing a therapist once, if not twice, a week, seeing a psychiatrist. I told 2 different psychiatrists that I was suicidal and they did NOTHING!!!!! Where else do you turn? What do you do? Aren't the doctors there for a reason? Isn't it their job to help you? What the heck are they getting paid for, then? When you are at the end of your rope and are turned away by the doctors that are supposed to help you, what are you supposed to think? They knew that there is a high chance of someone attempting suicide in the first 6 weeks after starting psychiatric medications, yet they did not take me seriously!
I have a lawsuit against the doctor and the hospital where I had the ER visit the day before, but the doctor did not note what I had said to him in the notes, so according to the "Standard of Care" he was not under obligation to do anything!!! He will not settle the case because he does not want to be reported for malpractice. So I will be going ahead with a trial, although my chances aren't good for getting any kind of compensation. Meanwhile, my medical costs just go higher and higher - $400,000 just in the first 4 years!
And for those of you who think overdosing is "safe", like I did, think again. You don't want to wake up from a suicide attempt to be paralyzed, do you?
Good luck, everyone. I hope things get better for all of you!
Tina
MI