Who do I talk to?

[natenkayliesmom]

Where do I start?!? :confused: Probably from the same place most of you parents here started. I'm stressed... to the point of breaking down. :eek: My daughter is in third grade and probably on the verge of suspension -- she has gotten four warnings the past two days at school. They have either been for talking, disrupting the class or forgetting to bring something back in. I have long suspected that she was ADHD -- extremely on the H side of it. She is very intelligent and never brings home a grade lower than 96%.

I want to find a professional to have her completely tested -- ADHD, LD, BD, IQ, etc. Who would I go to? A psychiatrist, psychologist, counselor? I can't go to her doctor and ask for a recommendation because all he did the last time was have her teacher and me fill out an evaluation and prescribed medication for her. I didn't like that and have not returned since -- I think it takes more than a recommendation from a teacher to evaluate this condition. How do I know the teacher isn't just having a bad day? Or has an extremely low level of patience with children? Stranger things have happened....

Anyway, I'm rambling. I'm so stressed to the limit right now with everything else and then this on top of it. I feel like I'm going to break!!!

She is also gluten intolerant/Celiac disease so she is on a gluten free diet. I'm researching other alternatives to medication but will not rule out medication at all if it is necessary.

Anyway... back to the question, what type of doctor would I take her to? More specifically, I live in Kentucky. If anyone knows of someone in Kentucky capable and qualified, please by all means, let me know.

Thank you -- thank you -- thank you!

[momster]

Yikes!!
First, welcome. This forum used to be active, but not too many people come here now. You need a neuropsychologist with expertise in elementary aged kids with adhd and related issues. Where do you live? I know some good people if you live in new england. the probelm thatyou're going to have is that there is often a long wait and you may have to fight for insurance coverage.

Now, either your school is crazy or you're not telling us something. Children usually get suspended for dangerous behaviors like fighting. They don't usually get suspended for forgetting homework or permission slips. If your child gets suspended for behavior, it's time for a trip to the pediatrician to talk about adhd. The pediatrician might be able to administer the connors behavior rating sclae which can be used to dx adhd. The doctor might also recommend a neuropsych. Come to think of it, if your child gets suspended because the school's crazy, that's all the more reason to get a dx. Once you have a diagnosis, you can negotiate an educational plan at school that can address the issues at hand, whether stupidity on the part of the school or hyperactive on the part of your child.

I hope she doesn't get suspended. There's nothing like trying to get a diagnosis in a panic. A good source for learning about schools and disabilities is wrightslaw.com.

good luck.

momster

[PMM]

I hope you get this. One thing you can do is request, in writing, that your child be evaluated by the child study team. If you already have a DX of ADHD/ADD that should help. The letter should include all of your concerns and how school is affected. This could lead to either a 504 or IEP. At the very least with a DX you should be able to get a 504 and with that a list of modifications that the school will have to follow.

Pat

[natenkayliesmom]

I hope you get this. One thing you can do is request, in writing, that your child be evaluated by the child study team. If you already have a DX of ADHD/ADD that should help. The letter should include all of your concerns and how school is affected. This could lead to either a 504 or IEP. At the very least with a DX you should be able to get a 504 and with that a list of modifications that the school will have to follow.

Pat

Well... she was diagnosed ADHD, Combined type. Not surprising. In fact, it was more or a relief to know that she wasn't just "acting out" and trying to be stubborn. We go to the doc Wednesday for the official report and the medication talk.

Pat, I'm going to talk to my daughter's teacher Tuesday to find out where to go from here. I am an education major as well, so I kinda have a heads up on what I need to do & what the school is legally required to do. Otherwise, I would have had no clue about the 504 & IEP.

[michael178]

It sounds like you know what to do. For professional help, I'd suggest also talking to your family physician, it is his job to know what is available medically in your community, and he can advise you who to see etc.

[PMM]

Sorry, I can't always get on here to check in. At the very least an IEP or 504 would give her protection from the school when her behavior is a problem. What you would have to do is clearly deliniate what the would happen given a certain behavior. Also some sort of behavior modification plan could be implemented to teach her how to control her behaviors.

Currently all three of my sons are taking supplements to control their ADHD/ADD, however it took months for them to take effect. When my oldest was DX'd he was put on a stimulant, first ritalin then adderall. I didn't learn about supplements until years into this ordeal, however that said, knowing EVERYTHING I know today, I would still have had him on the stimulants because we were in a crisis situation and the stimulants take too long to start working and he would have lost valuable school and training time. I took me 2.5 years to get the supplements where I wanted them so I could take him off the stimulant. Years later we also found that he has pyroluria so more supplements were added. He is now and senior in HS and an honors student. My other two are still works in progress.

I know that having celiacs can definitely play into the ADHD yo may find that the supplements would work because he body just can't get the right amount of things to her brain from her food so she needs extra in supplement form. If you would like I can post the list of supplements for you. But for the short term you may want to consider the meds just to get her over this hump.

Pat

[natenkayliesmom]

Update!

We started on Adderall yesterday after a bad start last week. Dd was in the hospital last week for a bacterial infection so when she was released they gave her a scrip for another antibiotic -- which she had never taken before. When we started this antibiotic, we also started the Adderall. BIG mistake. She had a reaction to the antibiotic & that caused an overly emotional reaction to the Adderall. So, we stopped the antibiotic & got the infection under control & restarted Adderall yesterday.

So far, all I can say is WOW. What a difference. She did not wet the bed last night -- the first time in I couldn't tell you when. She is 9. She did her homework completely focused without stopping to pet or talk to the cat. She still didn't want to sit still but it was a "focused" movement -- all she wanted to do was clean the bathroom and sweep and mop the house. Hey.. if that's a downside, I'm all for it! (No, it wasn't like an OCD type of activity. It was just something she wanted to do. I'm prone to OCD behavior so I watch for it and depression closely in my children since I also have been on meds for depression.)

Anyway... so far so good. Only time will tell. I meet with her teacher -- who doesn't know about the meds yet -- later this week. We'll see what she has to say.

[PMM]

I'm so glad that things are starting to work for you. The beginning of this journey can be incredibly frustrating.

The meds are only part of the equation. Now that she can pay attention you can do all the behavior training that she wasn't able to do before. What I found with my oldest was that his mind was too busy on what ever plane of existence he was in to pay attention to our house rules or manners or pretty much anything. All along we had expected him to follow the rules and I would have to make allowances for the ADHD but he was always made to comply even if it was for 20 seconds.

I could always tell how frustrated my son was. He wanted to do what he was supposed to do but just couldn't and how happy he was when he could finally do it. You have to remember that controlling yourself is something we are taught. You start when they are babies teaching them what they can and can't do. You teach them to wait for things, basically you are teaching them to discipline themselves. With ADHD, these kids aren't paying attention to any of these lessons because their brains are going at 100 MPH so they missed all those little lessons. Now that your daughter has "slowed down" remember she's missed all that and you kind of have to teach her from scratch.

My oldest is now 17yo and there are still things he can't do. Not because he's not able but because he never really learned how to in the first place. Things that his two younger brothers learned how to do be observing, my oldest needs to be specifically taught.

I don't know whether I'm making any sense. Sometimes I know something and just can't get it out in a comprehensive way, but I hope this helps.

Pat

[natenkayliesmom]

Well, the doc didn't want to tell the teacher about the Adderall... he wanted a completely unbiased opinion of how her behavior had changed after a month. Well today was the second day she was on the medicine at school. Her teacher pulled her to the side and told her that she had been really good, her handwriting had improved and she had completed all of her assignments. Then she wanted to know if she was on medicine now. Well, dd told her that she was.

She came home & was upset when she told me this. I asked her why & she said, "well you told me not to tell her but you also told me not to lie. I didn't know what to do."

The child is taking everything so very literal now. Example: the other day she wanted to clean my bathroom but I wouldn't let her. I had just emptied the trash and the trash can was lying on the floor where I had not put it up yet. I told her to take everything that she had taken out of the bathroom and to put it back where she found it because I was going to clean.. not her. So, she takes my slippers and puts them back EXACTLY where they were and even took the trash can back in there and laid it back down on it's side like it was when she found it! I honestly did not know what to do because it was so funny.

[natenkayliesmom]

Oh! BTW PMM... yeah, you made perfect sense.

DD told me today that she felt much more confident now than she did before. I almost cried.

[PMM]

I am so glad. It's wonderful when things begin to fall into place.

One of the "joys" of ADHD is that they tend to be very black and white and VERY literal. Seeing the world in shades of grey is apparently something that is learned and they have trouble with this. When my oldest was learning to read he wasn't very cooperative. Well it turned out that he thought that if he learned to read that I would never read to him again. Apparently he reasoned that when he learned to feed himself I stopped feeding him his food, when he learned to dress himself I stopped doing that. Basically history had taught him that when he learned to do something for himself that he then had to do it himself and he liked that I read to him so he wasn't going to learn. It took a few weeks to figure that one out.

At 17yo he is still very literal though he is better because over the years, when ever I get the opportunity I take whatever he has said and show him the "grey" side of things. Even my DH who I am sure has ADHD (unDX'd) wants simple answers usually yes or no. No explainations, which makes me nuts. I don't see life like that, I tend to see all the possiblities so you can see where there might be a bit of a problem.

Maybe they have to see the world in black and white because with their minds racing, they don't have time to think of anything else. At one point during one of his supplement changes, things slowed down enough for my son that he actually said to me that he was able to think about things he could never think about before. The problem with all of this is that we don't realize how much of our kids knowledge isn't directly taught but is absorbed through observation. Kids with ADHD don't absord the same things as other kids and therefore miss out on a lot. What's harder is that we then have to figure out how to verbalize lessons that we ourselves didn't learn verbally so it is a challenge.

You definitely sound like you are on the right road. The most important thing to do now is be CONSISTENT in your training. ADHDer's need routine and consistency, it makes it easier for them to remember what to do and when to do it.

Keep me posted.

Pat