Gut wrenching anxiety

[Pamster]

I am so sick of always having this sinking feeling in my stomach. I just feel so sick and close to unable to functioning right. Heck who am I kidding, I've not been functioning right for awhile now, it's just ripping up my stomach. I feel like crying it's so bad. Like today, I was deathly afraid I might forget to pay the rent on time, you know? I mean I knew I had to do it and when it was done I felt so much relief. Yet I still feel all this anxiety, what helps with anxiety? Does Paxil have any affect on anxiety or zoloft? I don't know what I need but I am so tired of having my emotional balance off. :(

[tic chick]

sorry you are feeling this way, pamster. it definitely is hard.

i used to have that same kind of gut-wrenching anxiety. if something was wrong with a bill or something else, i would obsess about it until i was able to fix it or do something about it. now, i only get this gut-wrenching anxiety when i know i have to make an important decision.

i think what you are having is obsessive thoughts. you knew you had to pay the rent, yet you still worried about forgetting to pay it. to me, that sounds like an obsession.

you can have anxiety and depression at the same time. usually, paxil and zoloft are used in depression. when i was on paxil, it seemed my obsessive/compulsive disorder was worse. but that might have been the effect it was having on me. it might not happen to you.

i know there is a group of drugs called "benzodiazepines" that are greatly helpful for anxiety. valium, xanax, clonazepam are all in this family. many doctors do not like to prescribe this class of drugs, because they have such a high potential for addiction. but i have been on clonazepam for about 20 years now and i am taking a bit less than i started out taking.

i think you have to tell your doctor how bad your anxiety is. i always talk to my doctor about my problems by rating them on a scale of 1 to 10, one being not very much to 10 being very, very bad. that way, he can see your perceptions of how you feel.

i don't know your other medical issues or if you have had any type of dependency problems in the past, and you don't have to tell me. i just think that when something is making such a huge impact on your daily functioning, that you have to do something about it. it is hard to live this way.

i think talk therapy helps a lot too. your medical insurance will pay for it. if you are low income, you might be eligible for free counseling or a rate based on your income.

please take care of yourself, pamster.

jeannie*bunch

[Pamster]

I have been taking lorazepam thank heaven's it works, but I only get two a day and sometiems the anxiety is just so bad that it comes back. I am calling today to see if my Therapist/Counselor can call something in since I am having a lot of trouble just dealing with the stress and floating anxieties that creep up on my when I am just doing what needs to be done. Thanks for posting tic chick, I feel better this morning but only after taking a lorazepam. :)

[houghchrst]

Pam I am so sorry you are so stressed. I know exactly what you mean. I am the same way. An intense worry that causes so much stress that you feel sick and can't concentrate. I am with you. I take Zoloft and while it may take the edge off of my depression it does very little for my anxiety. I do have Xanax and Klonopin but they only take the edge off. In order for it to work totally I would have to take my dose plus some. I hope you can get some relief from you T. Maybe you need a dosage increase or to take an anxiolytic regularly.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{P}}}}}}}}}}}

[Pamster]

I take two lorazepam a day, .5 mg. But still it doesn't always stay in effect, it's like it wears off and I am sitting here a total mess. I didn't call the T today, but I will tomorrow had another appt to go to and now it's too late in the day to call. So tomorrow I wll call. Thanks for the hugs Christina. And for the sympathy it helps to know I am not alone, but it still stinks we both are suffering with rough anxiety attacks. Today wasn't too bad but I know tomorrow will be harder, have alot of house cleaning to do and they come out to do the bug control and so I have to have people over to do that and change the air conditioner filter. :p Just what we need, people in here. :p Oh well, nothing can change it and there's not a thing to dfo but to get through it somehow. :(

[tic chick]

pamster....

i looked up lorazepam in wikipedia. it says it is a short to medium duration benzodiazepine. its half-life is 10-20 hours. a half-life of 10 to 20 hours means that half of the drug is excreted out of your system in 10 to 20 hours.

you are taking a low dose of lorazepam. i don't know if you have tried other benzodiazepines and have had bad side effects from them. you said in your last post that it feels like the drug "wears off".

short duration benzodiazepines would tend to wear off quickly and the short half-life of lorazepam means that it doesn't have a chance to build up to a certain maintenance level in your body, like a drug with a longer half-life would.

it sounds like the med doesn't stay in your body long enough to keep you calm enough throughout the day. plus, you might be a quick excreter and the med would stay in your body for the shortest amount of its half-life, which is 10 hours.

i don't know why you were prescribed this specific drug for your anxiety, but perhaps you would like to explore other anxiety drugs that have a longer duration of action. that is between you and the person who prescribed the drug for you.

i hated disruptions to my daily routine, also. now i am much more mellow. and no more panic attacks.

take care, pamster,
jeannie *bunch

[Pamster]

Thanks jeannie, I will talk to her for sure because I definitely am having trouble functioning properly. I just shake with fear all the time it's not healthy to be in such stressed states like this. I hope it gets better soon. It's really tearing me up lately. We've got an inspection on the apartment and we're all sweating it because they want things to look at the place and it's really bothering me that we have to do it at all. *Sigh* but they need it for thier lender or some junk.

I really do not like this and just got a new computer so I am sweating my files and such, worried about things with the new system and all. I just worry about everything. :p I wish I could just mellow out and NOT be so uptight. It's going to get better after I get my files updated on this new system and get things dealt with regarding this inspection, but until then I am just stressed out.

Thanks for caring jeannie. :) I definitely am going to talk to my Counselor and see what she can do to help me. :)

[tic chick]

http://bestsmileys.com/medical/8.gif

get better, pam

jeannie

[Pamster]

Thanks jeannie, I feel a little better this morning. Hoepfully it will be a good day today. :)

[tic chick]

how are ya doin' pam?

did you have your apartment inspection yet?

hope things are calming down for you....
jeannie*smallrose

[Pamster]

Yup things are better now, the inspection is over and no word on if we passed or failed so who knows? I am guessing no news is good news. Still having pretty bad anxiety these days though. It's just not going away although the lorazepam does make it go away, I don't always want to take it unless it gets really bad...How are things with you Jeannie? :)

[tic chick]

i didn't have too good of a day today (wednesday). clonazepam makes me have very vivid dreams at times. i took a short nap this afternoon and woke up from an uneasy dream. i exercised, like i usually do and the uneasy feeling didn't go away.

i am starting to dread winter coming, because i get seasonal depression then. it starts around the last week of october and lasts until about the first week of march. it's pretty predictable and i will just have to get ready for it. i have started a "painting the hallway" project and am tearing out carpeting so we will have just hardwood flooring.

it helps to keep busy :).

thanks for asking, jeannie*bunch

[Pamster]

I bet the hardwood flooring will look great when you're done Jeannie, I get depressed seasonally too, winter is just depressing sometimes. We don't have the snow that people up north have, but it's definitely capable of getting cold here in my part of Florida. I had a pretty vivid dream the other day. I lost a leg about twenty years ago and I still get weird dreams like that I got it back and then wake up realizing it was just another dream. This last one was so real, it was like I knew I was dreaming and I prayed that God would let me take this dream leg, though it was feeble and scarred, back to reality.

I hate dreams like that. :p Hope you're having a good day today Jeannie. :D

[tic chick]

how has your week been, pamster?

we're getting some cool autumn weather here in michigan these last few days. the beginnings of the color changes on the trees are visible. i have played with my 2 dogs a lot outside this week. they like it when it's cooler. they make me laugh cause they are so excited when you play with them.

my dog, nora, pushes a red brick with her nose and when she gets it going, she puts her paw on it and slides across the concrete driveway. she can do this for hours. nick, my other dog, loves to play fetch. he definitely has the concept down pat. he comes back with the ball and screeches at me with this high-pitched bark that he gets when he is excited. he gets a bit rough, as right now i have two long scratches down my legs plus a few paw print bruises. i am trying to teach him to be polite and sit for the ball, but you know how persistent boys can be when they want something :D.

i hope you got some word on your inspection and that you have been a bit less anxious.

be good to yourself, cause who else will?

jeannie *forgetmenot

[Pamster]

Well we've not heard bad things about it yet but the thing is they do these inspections, not the one I was so worried about, but a regular one every month! I am just so sick over it all, I can't write and I can't concentrate enough to write. I doubt this anxiety goes away for a couple of months, it's like being on High Alert all the time. My son isn't helping matters much with how he's been acting, just started a new allergy medication and he's being so hyper it's hard to deal with. *sigh* doubtful things are going to get any better. :(

Glad you're getting some fall weather, its still hot as heck here in FL. :p

[Pamster]

It's been awhile so I thought I would post, things are getting better and I feel better so I just wanted to post that and let everyone know I am still having minor anxiety, but it's not daily anymore thank heavens! :D

[houghchrst]

Hi Pam, that is good to hear, must be the meds you think? I think about you daily. Are the inspections getting easier? Is the lady nicer now that you have gotten to know each other a bit better?

How is Jackie doing? School is almost out, do you have plans for him for the summer?

Good seeing you posting a bit more often than you were for a while there.

[tic chick]

hey pam!

nice to have that anxiety under control, huh?

my seasonal depression lifted at the beginning of march, as usual. every year i go through this and wait through the winter, just trying to get by day by day. it seems as though january never ends.

we've had beautiful weather in michigan the last 3 weeks and with a minor glitch today and tomorrow, we should be back in the low 60's by wednesday. i've been outside the last 3 weeks and it really helps to be in the sun working. i sleep better, eat less. i still get some free-floating anxiety in the early evening, though, i don't know why.

nice to see ya, pam*bunch,
jeannie

[Pamster]

Hi Christina,

I am happy to say we're getting Jackie a trike, one of those adult ones since he can't master a two-wheeler and we have great hopes that it will really help him. We've been exercising and walking daily now for about a month and a half and things are going well with it. Jackie looks better and hopefully is feeling better, I know Jack and I both feel better and are looking a bit better too. I feel that this summer might be ou r first one where we can get through it without all the hassles we've usually had to face because of a lack of activities to do with Jackie.

Now we're going to have the pool, basketball, tricycle riding, walking and finally washing the car. Having this variety should help with managing Jackie's boredom and we think the extra energy he burns off with the trike will make him more calm when we're inside the house not doing anything active. He's been acting out at school pretty badly, becoming a bully. :( But there is hope, he is going into a new class next semester, a Life Skills class in a middle school setting with older kids so we're thinking he might be happier because he won't have academics to think about anymore. We hope anyway, we figure that is what he's rebelling against, having to read and write and work on basic math. :p

It's good to be in a lighter mood to where I feel like posting more, I've felt so down and anxious over the past few months it's been really difficult. Thanks for caring Christina, I think about you too daily, hoping your family is getting on well. Maybe we can chat sometime soon? It would be great to spend some time catching up though I think I did a good job of that above. *snicker, snicker* Thanks for posting! It's great to see you. :D

Oh boy you're not kidding tic chick, having it manageable is a great feeling, I definitely attribute it to the medication because I feel much better since the last increase in my SSRI which also helps with anxiety. I still have to take the Avitan when needed, but it works great too, and I try to talk myself out of an attack before I take one. Though I can usually tell right away if that will work or not. So I think I am getting better at discerning if I need something to kick the anxiety away or not and that helps too. I am so grateful for the avitan too, because sometimes nothing will make it get better BUT that medication.

I had some floating anxiety last week and it was such a pain. I couldn't pin down what was making me anxious and it was frustrating, so I broke down and took a pill and it slowly went away. I think the floating anxiety is worse then anxiety you can pin down to a source because it comes out of nowhere and is just so overwhelming. But before last week's attack it had to have been about three weeks since my previous floating anxiety attack so that's progress I think. :D

I'm glad to hear the seasonal depression has lifted, that helps so much to have your outlook more positive again. Also it's good you know what was going on so you can work through it, even if the only thing that can help is time, at least you know that it's end is in sight. :) I am really glad the weather has been better, I worry about my friends up north being cooped up inside and not being able to get an hour of sunshine a day for mood stabilization, down here we are getting up to the 80's and it's been warm enough to do the inflatable pool a few times. I am starting to get a tan too. LOL!

It's good to see you too tic chick, thanks for posting, I am so glad things are better for me, I just hate posting when things are bad, so if I am not around that usually indicates I am having a rough time of things, so hopefully this good spell will last awhile. :D

You both take care! :D

[Nana4&cntn]

Pam,

I am so happy to hear the of you are having fun, while getting healthier. I am sure Jackie will benefit from the time together and having more structure.

Wanted to check in and see how things are going, I hope well,

Wishing you all the best,
Kathy

[Pamster]

Hi Kathy!

Yup things are better, I am glad to report Jackie seems better since this last increase on the risperdal. I hope we continue to see good things. :) I'll keep you all posted. ;) :D

[Nana4&cntn]

Pam,

So happy to hear things are better! I think some of that can also be due to the exercise. Did you know Risperdol comes in a shot that is given every 2 weeks? One of the guys I am guardian for is receiving it instead of daily pills. I dont know the efficacy of it yet, but if you are interested I can give you updates.

Take care and keep us posted,
Kathy

[Pamster]

Thanks Kathy I will have to talk to his dr about it when we go see her next month. So far he's doing better, so I think we'll just stick with it the way we're set right now. Although if he needs it as an adult (we were told years ago that he might be able to get weaned off meds in his teens) we might look into that. :D I definitely think the exercising is helping my mood too. :D

[Nana4&cntn]

Pam,

It would be so wonderful for Jackie to be weaned off of the risperdol. I really dislike anti psychotics. They are so necessary but I ofter wonder how my guy would be off of all his meds! He is on his way to an institutional setting because he is so violent. He was committed on Thursday, it makes me so sad. He has so much potential he just goes off and does serios property damage. The last time was 50,000 to the group home he was living in, an 15,000 to a fire truck. What is really sad is as his guardian I had no say in the hearing. The judge was adamant! This was the 3rd time in 1.5 years.

I am so sorry I just vented, I would have loved for him to live with me, but I can't risk further injury to my back. I also am not equiped to keep him busy 24 hrs a day.

I am so happy Jackie is doing so well! Exercise and staying busy is the key IMO.

Take care,
Kathy