Anyone have a good joke???

[blimeyitslymie]

Hi good people,

Help! I am sinking... the only thing that can save me now is some humor. PLEASE post a funny joke, a ha-ha, moment, a limerick, anything G-rated and help bring a smile to poor blimey's face ... it might help bring one to someone else's as well!

Here''s one my 9 year old told me today:

What color is a burp?

BURPLE :eek:

I need something better ... so, now it's your turn ... you know what they say about laughter being the best medicine .... finally no ill side effects!

[blimeyitslymie]

No takers? No one has a funny thought ... Well, here I go again. I just finished reading the new Harry Potter book and laughed so hard, because I adopted the BT username Blimey last fall. Well, in the book the kids keep saying "Blimey" (used in amazement, or frustration usually) (I don't remember that from the other books, then again, I just finished this book yesterday and don't remember much from it!!) and I kept thinking theywere trying to get MY attention! :p

It is raining mightily here, the arthritis seems so much worse in the dampness. Anyone else?

[Erin]

These were my favorite knock knock jokes when I was a kid... I especially like the first one and the last two.

**********

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Ether.

Ether who?

Ether Bunny.

**********

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Juan

Juan who?

Juan more ether bunny.

**********

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Stella.

Stella who?

Stella nother ether bunny.

**********

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Dewey.

Dewey who?

Dewey have to listen to any more ether bunny jokes?

**********

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Consumption.

Consumption who?

Consumption be done about all these ether bunnies?

**********


Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Cargo

Cargo who?

Cargo "beep, beep"..****n over all the ether bunnies.

**********

Knock, Knock.

Who's there?

Boo.

Boo who?

Awww...Don't cry--the ether bunnies will be ok!

[Ginny43]

Blimey -
I don't usually remember jokes. I do remember the odd situations I always seem to get into. The moral to this one is don't be too hasty to help. !!

When waiting in Target's partking lot I watched a guy come back to his care with packages. When getting in, he dropped a small one right beside the driver's door. I decided to be helpful and let him know, however, before I could get out of the car (my moving quickly days are long past) and tell him, he opened his door and intentionally threw out some trash. By the time I got there to signal he dropped something, he of course thought I meant the trash, backed out right over his purchase, and drove away. I went to pick it up and found a box of now very smashed condums.

I was then grateful that he just drove off. AND I am now really wondering about his reactions when he looked through his stuff. You all can wonder too.

Ginny

[tmptmp]

This one is better told aloud but I'll give it
a try anyway because it always gets a laugh.


In the desert.

Two ostriches (female) are spied by two male ostriches.
The boy ostriches start chasing the girl ostriches.
The girl ostriches speed up.
The boy ostriches speed up and are gaining.
The girl ostriches put on all their speed.
The boy ostriches put on all their speed and are gaining.
The girl ostriches screech to a stop, dig holes
and sick their heads in.
The boy ostriches screech to a stop behind them, look around,
and say, "Where did they go?"

[blimeyitslymie]

These are great people! Thanks for the smiles...they help. I have actually started renting I Love Lucy episodes from Netflix. Laughing does seem to distract me from all Ï'm going through right now.

Here's another joke from my 9 year old ... sorry I don't have any older sources!!

Why did the bacon laugh?
Because the egg cracked a yolk. :eek:

So, please keep sending your funny ha has, because they are much more amusing than mine.