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jaztsd
10-17-2006, 02:48 AM
Hi everyone.

Didn't write much, because when life gets to be too much, I cocoon, withdraw pretty deeply. I'm un-concooning now, bit by bit.

Three weeks ago, my car was repossessed. Two weeks ago I was fired, on a crap decision related directly to my illness. Now I find out the director of the agency, Rick, is trying to deny me COBRA. I don't even think it's legal, but he's a bully and an ***, and he's decided to twist the knife, so he's fighting it.

I never used to believe in evil as an enitity before - honestly, I've had crappy things happen in my life, but this is the first time I ever considered someone to be pure evil, with no good in him. I really hate this guy - and it scares me. I don't hate people, in general.

I've had people do crappy things to me in my life - but somehow, this feels more evil, more directed, more, I don't know. I was gang raped once - I don't hate those guys the way I hate Rick. I was devastated, wrecked emotionally, still have nightmares - but I don't think I ever hated them the way I hate Rick. I don't understand exactly why, on the surface, it makes no sense. On a deeper level, it still makes no sense.

I don't like seeing myself as a person capable of this kind of hate. It's not who I've ever been.

I have no money, no car, and this illness is making it hard to get a job I can keep. I've been looking into stay at home jobs, but whatever I do, I need health insurance. Honestly, I think I would die without my meds. Rick knows about my illness, knows the severity of it, and he's doing his best to deny me insurance even though there's no cost to the agency to giving it to me.

Been anxious, depressed - think I scared my neurologist last week. Before we even got into the pain issues, she gave me Xanax and doubled my anti-depressants. I always get a copy of her notes - her own notes, each time before I leave, for my own information.

The first thing she wrote, in big letters, was, "Not Well." She also wrote. throughout the notes, "confused, anxious, depressed," a number of times, and thinks I'm a mess psychologicaly (ok, she didn't actually used the word, "mess," but it was implied).

I like to pretend things are ok - stuff the bad stuff down. This is all on top of increasing pain that is getting harder and harder to control. I think she was particularly concerned because I can usually see a positive side no matter what. This time, I was just discouraged (and confused, anxious, depressed, and a mess, lol).

I was pretty scattered, too, in retrospect. When life gets to the point where it's almost too much, the first thing to go is my ability to speak clearly, not like slurring or stuttering, but difficulty getting the words out in a way that makes sense to whoever I'm talking to. I also withdraw pretty deeply into myself.

It was suggested, but never formally diagnosed, that I had autistic tendencies when I was a kid, as an adult I function fairly well, just a bit, "geeky," have learned the social skills and stuff I could never grasp as a kid, but when life gets overwhelming, I regress.

It's funny - this is something I realized about myself way back in grad school, the regressing thing, at least as far as the withdrawal thing. I perioidcally think of getting tested, just for my own knowledge, but never have.

I may still be a bit scattered right now, I think I'm not too bad, and I know I'm better than I was a few days ago, but it's definitely been roller coastering.

Thanks for listening. I could really use some words of encouragement right now.

Love you all,
Jan

EE03
10-17-2006, 07:24 AM
It seems as though I'm right with you on all fronts here! I know those aren't particularly words of encouragement, but my anxiety is off the charts and I can totally relate to not being able to think or speak coherently. My doc recently upped my med, which I hate because it gives me unbelievable headaches! I am often times amazed that docs just think that increased meds solve everything, but thats another rant for another time.

You aren't alone in this. Have you contacted the TNA? They can probably give you some advice regarding the cobra issues and all else. Hang in there and let us know how you're doing and how things are going.

E!!!

Mom2boys
10-17-2006, 11:14 AM
Hi Jan,

{{{ Huge Hug! }}} Ya know, chronic pain does make us crazy at times. Our coping cups runith over when we are having bad pain weeks. I always say "my job can be out of synch at times or my home life can be out of synch at times, they just cant both be out of synch at the same time". Im sorry to hear all is out of synch at the moment for you. Chin up, uncacoon and start to regain control of what brings you most strength. Stress is the killer isnt it? You can do this, one day at a time !

macy
10-17-2006, 01:01 PM
Jan, I am not sure, but I do not think COBRA is up to Rick. Contact the carrier for your insurance. That is what I did. The company I worked for would have prevented it if they could, but I got it. Expensive though, but better than nothing.
I know about that kind of hatred too, I think it stems from unfairness. Try to put that behind you. I know that is easier said than done. Please take care of yourself. Better days are ahead I promise. Just take it one step at a time. Do you have a Social Service office in your area? They might be able to offer some help/advice. My heart goes out to you because I have been there too.


Macy

ella138
10-17-2006, 06:24 PM
Jan,
Someone upstairs is certainly testing you to your limit and you are going to pass! You've been through some really tough times in your life and always come out on top, and this time is no different. It wasn't great that the car, job and pain thing all happened at the same time, however I suspect the pain problem is directly affected by the stress you are going through right now. Don't fight your hate for Rick...right now anyway! It's your emotional release and this guy doesn't seem to concerned about how you feel about him or anything else anyway. Eventually your hatred for him will dissipate as you solve one the problems, one at a time. Take the time you need to regroup. You have obviously overcome some major life curves and it was you and you alone who did that. You'll come out on on the other side a little wiser and a little stronger. You're just that kind of person. People are allowed to stumble and sometimes they need help to get up and dust off, but you are who you are deep down and you are a winner. I don't know what COBRA is, but i assume it has something to do with disability insurance? If that's the case I can only assume that like Macy said, it's not up to Rick. Be well and let us know how you are doing.

JeanC
10-17-2006, 07:20 PM
Hi, Jan,

I'm so sorry to hear all this. You've probably already found this, but here's info from the Dept. of Labor on COBRA. I've been on COBRA a couple of times over the years, and it sure beats individual rates - don't let them take it away from you if you/they meet the requirements.

http://www.dol.gov/ebsa/faqs/faq_consumer_cobra.html

Good luck to you! Hang in there!

Jean

jaztsd
10-18-2006, 11:39 PM
Thank you so much, everyone. It means a lot to me - maybe more than you realize. I'm checking into the COBRA thing - making a written appeal to the agency first - play it his way, maybe he won't bite back as hard.

I don't have a lot in me to say right now - I just want you to know how much y'all mean to me, and how much the support means. When people in my life are encouraging me to keep going, it makes it easier to do so.

Love,
Jan

ToTs11
10-19-2006, 03:17 AM
Hi Jan,
Sorry to hear of the difficulties you are facing right now.
Life can be a b*tch sometimes.

We are all here for you.
Wishing you better times ahead.

Oh and boy do I wish I could stick pins in that Rick, the jerk.

Love Tracy x

Fizzbw
10-19-2006, 06:23 AM
Why NOT stick pins in him? Make a model and say all the things you want to be able to say to him! Write him letters that you don't send - this is a useful way of venting and letting off steam. Talking to a conseller might help as well. I suspect that Rick has become a focus of your hate for all the bad things that have happened to you, that's quite normal!

But stress is the biggest trigger for tn so you must find a way to chill a bit - and I know how terribly hard that is - could you find a meditation class? It often helps to have an external source to help relaxation.

I can understand the hate - and the guilt that comes with feeling it. I hate a girl who maliciously accused my Dad of abusing her when he was her teacher, she tried to take him to court twice, both times it got thrown out, but last time it took 18 months to come right and caused him and my family so very much pain. Mostly now I can be level headed about it, but I know if I met her in person, and I was in pain or feeling less balanced, she'd be as dead as I could make her!! I hate and feel guilty that I can feel that another human being (though I challenge the definition as applied to her) doesn't deserve to live.

I also got made redundant on my first second back after my first MVD - they forced me back too soon as well and then spat me out onto the hot London pavement with nobody - I loved my job and couldn't believe that they were so harsh - and they didn't follow any of the correct procedures. I still, 3 years later feel resentful of the way they treated me. Employers don't want sick people, even if they seem to be getting well, and when its such a rare, hard and severe illness as this they scare even quicker!

Biggest of hugs and I hope really hope you feel better soon! Remember, there is good and love and beauty in this earth - even when you are feeling a world of pain.

Niki ***x

southerngirl
10-19-2006, 04:49 PM
Have your tried SSI it takes a while but hang in there and with all your medical history I can't see how they can reject you, if you need any questions answered send me a private message and I will try and help
Catherine