dx'd people, let's talk...

[dagaz]

Hey everyone...sorry I've been absent for a while, I've been camping,quadding and been busy. While we were quadding (by the way I ride a 450 yzf (freekin scary!!)
I clipped a stump which twisted my left wheel towards a small birch. well I ran into that and it stopped my daughter and I dead in our tracks. I was pretty sure I broke my scaphoid again so I went to emerg and they x-rayed it.

The emerge Dr. couldn't tell if it was broke or not. He put a scaphoid cast on and told me to come back today (24th).

I went back for another x-ray and *my* Dr. comes into the room and says "I've got good news & bad news.." he tells me

"your scaphoid isn't broken but you broke your radius"He told me that I'm lucky that it didn't displace and go through my muscle & skin because a severe fracture.
He changed the cast style and shape for this kind of fracture.

I am so glad that my Dr. was there today because I don't know if the emerge Dr. I saw when I first crashed would have even looked in anouther area:eek:

anyway enough about that.

I have a ? for all of you females in M.S. land...
ok here it goes I have 3 sisters and one lives close to me and so does her

grown *daughter} Steph*
My other *Niece} Randi*
( not the one that lives near me) came to stay at my place, she lives in the city and likes to get away.

The first night she got to my place was a little late so we just hung around talking and didn't bother to call steph. The next day we went by steph's house and we all went for ice-cream which I bought for all four of us.

My daughter was there as well. We walked Steph home and the next day she is mad at me my kid and Randi because in her mind "we ignored her most of the time"

We didn't ignor her, it was 4 girls for ice-cream and everyone is yapping...well when steph gets home she starts phoning & telling every one what a b!tch my daughter is and how possessive of her baby boy I am!

Well steph had called her mom (my sister the one that lives near me) and tells her how (my dd,Randi and I)were being so mean and not talking to her and

such...well my sister calls me and reams me out ..blabla...her poor daughter..anyway this goes on for a few days, and then I get emails...and

these emails are saying what a s!ut I am ...ect..and I get 3 of these emails and I didn't reply until the last one...and here is what I said=

" how about this..you stay out of my life and I'll stay out of yours, because we have never gotten along and I really don't think we like each other much anyway.
and we will go from there..."

my sister always finds something I've done wrong in her eyes so that she can be mad at me for 6 months and not talk to me and then doesn't let her kid play with mine...

It's frustrating, and I can't handle the stress of that all of the time.

Do you think I was too harsh?
Thanks...
Dagaz

[Coyote]

Well I thought you took it quite easy on them and simply said what you wanted. It certainly didn't compare to the terrible things they were saying and doing. There was alot of things you could have said. I have not seen such bad behavior and petti behavior as the way you said they behaved and the things they said. Unbelievable. Normal people don't act that way. These are relatives? Where's the love?

No you don't need the stress. Funny about people like this sometimes...they won't stay away. That'll be up to you.

Kewanee

[Annie123]

We can't change our family members no matter how much we may want to...

I believe Dear Abby (and others) would advise to explain politely and succinctly (snail mail, email, hand-delivered note) that you and yours did not intend for her to feel ignored and will work together with her so that it doesn't happen again--this is the extent of your obligation......

Yes obligation because she was, after all, a guest in your home who perceived to be slighted. Note that you are not apologizing, but are acknowledging her feelings and are offering a solution, one that perhaps can help bring everyone back together.

What they do is up to them -- they can either do the right thing or not, which you cannot control. If they don't do the right thing by apologzing for slandering you, they may not be the type of people you want in your life.

If they do apologize, good manners dictate that you gracefully accept it -- but whether or not you ever choose to invite her back into your home is entirely up to you.

Showing such propriety/etiquette/good manners, even if it's extremely hard for you to summon such graces in the midst of such turmoil, shows you have class, and if they don't respond in kind, they will know the truth that you have more class than they do.

Best of luck.

~Annie

[lady_express_44]

It may "appear" like there are some jealousy or feelings of inadequacy on their side . . . but chances are there is a lot more (history) to this story then meets the eye. ;)

We certainly don't need any unnecessary drama and stress in our lives, so the easy answer would be to do what you've done; disown them. However, if you value her (and/or her family) in your life, my suggestion would be for you try to talk this out with an open mind. Sounds like there are some dusty, old cobwebs that need cleaning. :D

Cherie

[bluesky63]

I don't know. Maybe you want my input, maybe you don't. :-)

Are you asking whether we think it's harsh to tell your sister to stay out of your life because she and her daughter called you a **** and her cousin a ***** because you didn't wake the daughter up when her cousin visited from the city and then the next day you bought ice cream for the daughter and her cousins? :-)

They're your sisters and nieces only because you happen to be in the same family. It doesn't mean you magically happen to have personalities that get along great like friends, right? You didn't pick them.

On the other hand, since they are your family, they will be there for the rest of your life or their life. If you have problems, the problems will be there for each and every family event. And the dynamic tends to be passed on from generation to generation. What you guys do is probably what your parents and grandparents did, and what you guys do is probably what your kids and grandkids will be doing, on and on . . .

I guess I would just look at it with logic. What's the benefit of making an effort to get along, even if you think they're wrong? And what's the benefit of just going your own way and not geting sucked into the situation over and over? Is there any chance everyone will learn to be more kind? Or will it always be the same?

I don't think any choice you make is necessarily right or wrong. Whichever situation feels better to you and makes the most sense, to your feelings and to your needs and stress level, is what you ought to go with. Write out the pros and cons and go with it.

With my family, I generally just keep taking notes for the novel.

I hope your bone heals quickly. Maybe more ice cream would help. :-)

[dagaz]

just to fill in the details about my sister and her daughter steph and my family. When my Dad was killed (work accident) my first family separated. You know sisters, mom got re-married, ect...as for past garbage coming into the present tons of it...we were brought up in a very violent abusive home. As far as the hurt from that kind of stuff ...it's always fresh.

My sister is only two years older that I am, has always found something to be mad at me or my other sister for. It's the way some of my dads family are...
I just don't want to be apart of this destructive way of life.

I told my sister and her daughter...maybe you two should get a hobby for something to do instead of trying to find something to be angry about...

Anyway I'm not going to loose any sleep over this. As for Steph...maybe she shouldn't have lit the fuse by crying to mommy...instead she should have taken a step back and saw that if we didn't want her around we wouldn't have stopped to pick her up in the first place...

Sorry man...I can't type well with a cast so I'm cutting this short...

(ah don't you just love soap opera's)

dagaz