TBI & have young children

[KAppleby]

Hi everyone!

I was just wondering if there were any other mothers or fathers that have young children? I was involved in a MVA June 2006 and just found out last month that there was a chance that I was suffering with a head injury. I had another doctor voice their confirmation on the head injury this week.

I was just wondering if any other sufferers are having a rough time with little kids. I have two kids, ages 4 & 2. I have noticed that there are a lot of times that I struggle to do stuff with my kids. I have felt guilty over the last year since I have not been able to play with my youngest child the way he likes to play. My son is a true rough and tumble boy who likes to push you onto the floor and wrestle with you. Since I am also suffering from whipflash as well, I can not handle his roughness. With help from a social worker and my family phsyican, I no longer see myself as a "failure to my son":( , but I see myself as a person who has had the unfortunate turn of events disrupt my life who is fighting to get better.:)

I have found that there are days where I have to fight with myself like crazy to stop myself from getting upset with my kids since I can not handle pressure, stress, and have lost a lot of my patience skills thanks to the injuries I have sustained. My 4 year old understands that "Mommy has a lot of appointments to go to and try and fix all her bo-bo's." My son on the other hand doesn't understand since he is too young, and starts balling as soon as I tell him I can't play rough.:(

Does anyone else have this sort of issues or concerns with they kids?

Krista

[KAppleby]

Hi everyone,

I just found out this week that I will going to see a psycologist for testing. :eek: Has anyone else been through testing? or have an idea of what they do? I am just curious because I don't know of anyone who has been through this.

Any input would be appreciated.

[lisa6wks]

Krista,
I love your name, it's the same name as my daughter :) I don't have a TBI, although I do have almost daily migraine headaches and have had most of my adult life. My kids are grown now, but when they were little, two of them loved to rough house, the oldest, my son and the littlest, a daughter. I don't particularly like to rough house, first it's a personal preference and second, it can cause my head to hurt. However, their father loved to wrestle with them. I simply told them no playing rough with Mommy, play with your father or each other and I spent a lot more time with them singing songs and reading stories.

Just because you can't rough house with them doesn't mean what you can do with them isn't valuable. If they need more physical exercise, they can jump on a trampoline, run races or roll down a hill. All of these things you can observe and cheer for them. You don't have to be their playmate, you can be their supportor and their guide!

Also it probably does them good to learn how to be gentle to Mommy. Being gentle with others is always a good skill, especially for little boys. They will also learn how to treat someone who is not feeling well. If you handle this positively you will end up with very loving nurturing boys that any woman would be glad to have as a husband.

Lisa

[Toad]

Krista,

I have no children of my own though have nieces and nephews and many friends’ children who have called me uncle all their lives.

As for TBI’s, I have had many. Relearning about yourself is difficult. Relearning about yourself when not alone is more than simply a challenge.

The psychologist’s testing is not a big deal on the surface; it will wear you down mentally; many tests to help find your deficits and strengths. Beyond that assuming you are not seeing Psychologist for a “maximum medical improvement” assessment, just do what you can do; it is to help you.

I have done many of these tests and I hate them; however they were helpful in nearly ever instants.

I love Lisa’s points about being gentle with their mommy; it is so true.

Wishing you my best

toad

[KAppleby]

I would like to thank both of you, Lisa and Toad, for your valuable input. I have made the efforts the last 2 weeks to try and get something else for my son and I to do together. Right now, he loves to do puzzles with me.;) We have also been working on some "look and find" books. Tonight my son surprised me and wanted to play "babies." He was trying so hard to be gentle and caring to the doll, and took it for a stroller ride around the play area.:) It made me feel good that he has started to take extra care with the baby, as it might mean that he is starting to understand what gentle means.

Toad, you had mentioned about a "maximum medical improvement" assessment. I was just wondering if you know what the difference is?:confused: I have no idea as to what testing/assessment that I am being referred for. I know that things are different in the States compared to Canada for medical care. As of right now I am supposed to meet with the psychologist mid-October because of the "waiting times" and then he is going to schedule the assessment/testing.

[Butterfly98]

Hi Krista:)

I suffered a TBI in an MVA - June of 1999 and have two children, aged 8 and 5. I have had a very difficult time with them, but my injury was also undiagnosed for a few years. My children are very aware of my medical history and laugh when they say "Mommy forgets stuff in like... two seconds! cause she broke her brain..." LOL. It's hard when they are so little, but I think if you are honest with them (in the most simple, basic of explanations) then the effects of your injury and it's impact on your family becomes "normal" to them. I have a degree in Early Childhood Education and worked with preschoolers for almost 10 years... I agonized about everything I was putting my kids through because I had such strong opinions on parenting (still do..) But I've since learned to worry less about things like that and focus on all the wonderful parts of our relationship.

As for the testing.. I've been through all that as well. If you're going for a full day (be prepared - you might have to) then it's mostly things like puzzles, word association, blocks that you have to put into patterns with a timer, you're read a grocery list and you have to repeat it back as well as you can remember, and then they keep adding on to it. It's really simple stuff and nothing to get too stressed about, but if you're like me, you'll be stressed just because it's an "assessment". After about 50 THOUSAND of them, you get tired of telling the story about how you ended up there, etc. etc.

Anyway - I really feel for you sweetie :) I've been in your shoes and it can be difficult, but each day things will get a little easier to deal with. Feel free to email me if you like.

[KAppleby]

Hi everyone!

I was just wondering if any one has had issues with tinitus (ringing of the ears), and wondering if it ever goes away?

I have just found out on Tuesday that I am one of the few people who have a hard time handling Wellbutrine. A month ago the doctor took me off Cipralex in order to make sure that the combination of the Wellbutrine and Cipralex was causing my side effects. I just wish that the doctor had told me that there was going to be withdrawal symptoms. That way, I wouldn't have wondered what was wrong with me because it was a hard week.