Why does my son get up at 3-4 am?

[Pamster]

I am so tired right now, been up for two hours and ready to go back to sleep. But of course Jackie is raring to go. He goes to bed at 9-ish and I thought kids needed like 8-10 hours of sleep still even at age 10-11, so why does he get up to go to the bathroom and then NOT go back to bed?

I give him melatonin which helps with the falling asleep easier factor, but he's not sleeping the entire night through at least one third of the time. I wish I knew what to do, other then to wake up and make coffee which doesn't have a hope to keeping me awake for very long when I am really tired and only got around 5-6 hours of sleep.

Anyone else going through this? Any advice for how to deal with it? :p

[Pamster]

I am so angry right now, he's trying to flush a 9v battery down the toilet, I really am fed up with one thing about this place, he can run away from me and I will never catch him so unless Jack is involved I can't give him a freaking time out. It's so frustrating. I swear I am fed up. HOW do you stop a child from doing this? Especially an autistic one? Man I am sick of trying to undo the damage of that darn movie "Flushed Away" it just infuriorates me. :mad:

[wallyw1]

Hi, Pamster--I am so sorry. We lived this too at our house. Locks seemed to be the only answer. They are so inconvenient for the family, but at least they allow the child to be at home. With all the children being dx'd with autism, somehow part of the treatment has to be respite for the family who is trying to carry on. Locks and security systems should be provided to people in your situation. I am afraid all I can offer is my understanding and good wishes. The world is a different place when we get our sleep.

Wally's Mom

[Pamster]

We have never had any respite, and I don't really want to try it because we worry too much about Jackie's safety. We finally got our door chains up and installed the other day so I can sleep better, its just I am unwilling to let him out there on his own and mess with the pantry or the refrigerator contents, so I force myself to get up you know? :eek: :p

Not fun, but he went back to sleep around 7 am so I did get to lay back down for a couple of hours. That helped at least. Thanks for the reply Wally's Mom, it's nice to know I am not alone and that people here do care and understand where we're at. Have a great day! :D

[peglem]

I can relate and you have my sympathy, lots and lots of it. What does he do when he gets up? I mean besides flushing stuff down the toilet. I'm wondering if its his tummy- either hunger or discomfort. Maybe a snack before bed, or a snack waiting for him when he gets up? We still have this problem sometimes with Allie, usually when she's sick. But the first 8 years or so of her life I can hardly remember because I was so sleep deprived- its a horrible way to live. Really want to help you with this, just don't have anything terribly useful to suggest.

[GinaMarie]

Im glad he went back to bed for a little while. Wish it was longer. I know all about not getting enough sleep.

Right now Im dizzy with tiredness. I was up til 3 am waiting for my nephew to bring my son Caleb home and he didnt and I couldnt stay up any longer with my meds making me fall asleep then waking up at 7 with the phone ringing and the younger boys being up and knowing I have company coming. My son still isnt home and I tried calling my nephew and he still isnt answering his phone :mad: . I dont know where my son is. Today will probably be a migraine day from lack of sleep.

I had thought of possibly getting those child proof cabnet locks and fridge lock. Then he couldnt get in the pantry and fridge if you were laying down.

Im glad you finally got your door chains on. I wish I knew of a way to help you to get a way to help him sleep longer in the morning.

HUGS
GM

[wallyw1]

When Wally wakes up in the middle of the night, I sometimes put Pavarotti on and it helps him get back to sleep. You would think that Pavarotti would be too loud and envigorating, but it works where the soft soothing music didn't. It could be surprising what music he would respond to--I remember back in the 1980's my friend's son (not autistic) responded to hard rock--go figure.
We used locks on the fridge and put a lock on the pantry door. That helped but sometimes he seemed to be able to jiggle the fridge lock and open it. Wally had terrible problems with constipation and probably had stomach aches--also gluten and casein intolerant--I thought he wanted to constantly eat to try to feel better. We also bought motion detectors at Radio Shack and put them near the outside doors--the kind that they use in stores to let staff know someone has entered. At the time they cost about $18--maybe they are cheaper now. Bless all you tired Mom's out there.

[moose53]

Yeah, I agree, bless all you tired Moms out there.

I remember waking up from a nap and finding my son sitting INSIDE the refrigerator and drinking a beer :mad: :p Gotta thank my EX for the beer-liking :rolleyes:

Pam, I was wondering too what he DOES when he gets up :confused:

I've just come through a week where my hours were all screwed up. Pain from my back not allowing me to sleep at night ... so taking a nap during the day. Then getting the epidural with the frantic-ness and the face-flushing even more not allowing me to sleep at all at night for 3 days.

Usually when I don't sleep at night, I nap during the day. But, my days were so totally reversed that I was living in another time zone. Would preventing him from taking the nap in the daytime and maybe giving him a sleep-time of 10PM instead of 9PM push him to sleep more toward morning??

I really admire you guys. I had 'troubles' and 'issues' with my kid growing up. Some worse than what you guys face daily and some just 'different'. It's hard to live every day with stress. I remember and think you guys are awesome Moms http://chocolate-moose.p5.org.uk/MINIS/hohappymothersday017breakfast02text.gif

Barb http://chocolate-moose.p5.org.uk/MINIS/share-tea.gif

[Pamster]

Thanks everyone for the moral support, I really needed it today, we're getting ready to do a steamed crabs feast for us and two of our neighbors who were so kind as to help us unload the truck that took us ten hours to load in th rain...Between us it was half that to unload and we're paying them back with a lovely dinner. I just hope Jackie doesn't do anything embarrassing. :p

When he gets up he turns on all the darn lights and makes a lot of yelling sounds which for me is impossible to sleep through. Other then that he tries to make food and that isn't cool because he doesn't go about it the right way so I just force msyelf to get up. :p Have to run, we're about to break the table down and move it to the dinning room for this feast, it will get moved back later I hope...I might be offline for a day due to this since my computer is set up on the dinning table only it's in the living room now. ;)

Hope you all have a great saturday afternoon. :D

[Jamies Mommy]

((((((Hugs))))))
I know how awful its is to be sleep deprived. When Jamie was three it was getting him just to go to sleep. He would be awake for hours and hours laughing. Then it was the waking up early and staying awake when he was around 5.
As he got older I noticed that the waking up early/ not going to sleep came in cycles. He would be fine for several weeks then it would start. My friend and I started comparing notes and they were on the same cycle. Weird huh.

Since we started the Risperdal back in February he has been going to sleep early and staying asleep. On the few occasions he has woken up in the middle of the night I have just told him to go back to bed and he has!!!!

[Isabelle]

sorry, you are sleep deprived, i have similar problems here, it comes in cycles too, so i don't know what to blame it too zzzzzzz

[wallyw1]

Just thought of something--there is a product named CALM, basically it is Magnesium Citrate and it supposed to help with sleep. With our guys it would be best to use a very small amount to begin since I think it also helps with constipation. Here is the web site:

http://petergillham.com/product-line/peter-gillhams-natural-calm.php

Probably any mag/cit would do. With our children we never know how they will react--if it doesn't work for them then Mom's and Dad's should probably take it.

[milivica]

Oh man, well said Wally's mom..."The world is a different place when we get our sleep"

I reeeeeally don't know what it is about being on the spectrum, that seems to so often screw up sleep. Dunno if it's an asd thing or adhd thing. But it sure seems common in our kids.

Just out of the blue I want to ask...any chance he needs more physical pooping out? I dunno how active he is, but, if Vince doesn't get enough physical work/play, he can't sleep or wakes up around 3ish and can't get back to sleep. Lately the nice thing is, when he did so he'd just watch the Weather Channel, and make a (sort of) reasonable mess in the kitchen eating. I'll take that over the past late night havoc.

Any chance you could physically wipe Jackie out more? One thing that really seems to work great for Vince, is I let him take a 5 gallon bucket either to the beach (that's best) or just in the front yard. He fills it with the hose, carries it to his spot to dump it...something about that heavy lifting really calms him, and if I let him at it for an hour + he sleeps really well that night, probably from the physical exertion. There are often things most kids would consider work, and for sure adults would consider work, that our kids really enjoy. Any repetitive unchallanging static system he could get into that would help physically poop him out?

Just a thought. I know, easier said than done!

I feel for you, it's just the worst...feels like some weird blackmail. If you get up with him before dawn you feel like crap all day, if you don't - that's even worse. Any chance you could work out 'his' and 'hers' get up early days? Who ever has the day to get up early gets to take a nap that day.

Hey woman, I'll be in your state in just over 24 hours - we leave Monday morning at 5am (two hours after Jackie gets up :rolleyes: ). I can't wait. TWELVE years since dh and I went on a real true vacation - I'm so nervous I don't want to go, yet at the same time I can't wait! You know, travel jitters. I got all the animals hooked up - I think that was a bigger challenge than the vacation! Manny will stay with a neighbor with 3 Yorkies, and has already stayed there for a few hours the last couple of days to get used to her and her place and her dogs (though he already knows them from walks). She and the neighbors in our duplex, will come to check/feed the critters here - the birds and hamsters and rats are all hooked up, most of the fish too...just need to feed worms to the one tank that doesn't eat prepared foods (freshwater puffers and eels). The giant snail (Gary) is as always least demanding to care for.

I better hit the hay - my Ambien is kicking in. Without it, I too would be back to not sleeping well (if at all). I hope you can come up with something to help. It's just awful to be overtired. I'm so sorry to hear it, I know it's the pits.

((((HUGS))))
Lisa

[Jamies Mommy]

Waaaaaa I want you to come to my state for a visit! :)

[Keggy]

I would try a later bedtime for starters, 9 is early. I would also consider thinking about his bedroom. Is it used for punishment? Meaning, do you send him to his room, because if you do stop.
I would think of ways to make his room more restful and inviting, so ... he will sleep better and want to stay in it when he wakes up.
Think colors, mood, quiet activities......etc.

[AKF]

Keith often gets up in the middle of the night; I really think he waits until he thinks I'm asleep and then gets back up. The other night I heard him in the kitchen at about midnight unloading the dishwasher. He usually will do something like clean the kitchen or play on the computer. So I just let him get up. Only thing is, when he's in the kitchen, I the noise wakes me up! So I don't get to sleep, even though I don't get up.

I think he just needs less sleep; it doesn't matter if he takes a nap or not; he still will go to sleep late.

[Pamster]

Actually it's more like 9:30 sometimes almost ten when he goes to sleep. We get up at like 6:30 am so that is why we have the earlier bedtime. He has to get on the bus by 7:15, I don't know how early it will be for the regular school year, but he goes to summer school and it's 7:15 that they come to the front door for him, we are SO lucky I don't have to take him to the corner and that his awesome bus driver still takes him door to door, it's just made this transition so much smoother. :)

We definitely don't send him to his room for time outs, it wouldn't work, we also knew about that being a turn off for the idea of sleeping in the same place you get punished in, so that's not happening here, we have an orange chair for time outs. ;) He hasn't been getting those too often though since we've been here, he's been much happier here then he was in the old place, but it's harder to catch up to him and give him a time out because of the floor plan, there is a divider from the kitchen to the hallway/entrance/dinning room that he like runs around like a silly giggling fool.

Anyway, I really appreciate the sympathy everyone, I have wanted to post about this before but haven't been motivated until the other night when he did this and I was so tired. I really have enjoyed living here so much more now that we've got the door chains. I wish we had a lock for the glass door though, Mother said she is going to get us one so that will take care of that, I think it will be much safer when we have that in place. ;)

[Keggy]

I would still make the bedtime later. My dd started getting up at 6 to be at school by 6:45. She goes to sleep around 11 sometimes later. She is a little older, but at least thats how she gets to sleep and she has been doing this for awhile. Beats lying around in bed for hours... which is really torturous.