Autism and the God Connection

[wallyw1]

Here is a link to a You Tube video teaser for an upcoming film based on Bill Stillman's book, Autism and the God Connection:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rp5kFoeyaPs

wally'w mom

[milivica]

Well sure it's possible, it's possible that greedy industry screwing up the earth with pollution is a 'gift' and has a 'plan'.

But I would not call autism a 'gift' any more than pollution, although it may be part of God's plan, sure.

I can listen to that now, but I'll tell ya, it hurt me to my core when Vince was first diagnosed, when religious relatives and strangers all with HEALTHY kids used to tell me God must have chosen me for his mom or God must have a reason, blah blah blah. Kind of made me 'hate' God for a while, I gotta tell ya. So easy to be 'righteous' about my kid's autism when you're not cleaning feces off the walls and paying for a plumber to fish who knows what this time out of the toilet again.

For those that have that kind of thought process, I think it's a great idea. I mean, why be miserable feeling your child is being punished when you can feel it's a 'gift'. Isn't reality what you make it anyhow, all the world's a stage - you know that saying.

I wouldn't knock anyone believing that, and if their child isn't self mutilating and longing for companionship and hurting for human touch but can't stand it sensory-wise, if their child is content asking nothing wanting nothing and getting nothing from life, I guess you could call it a gift. I'd call it less than they deserve. Less than my kid deserves, less than I deserve....I mean autism is just being underdeveloped in a few milestones. Really it's not a big deal as long as you know what to do!

I have been drinking coffee like crazy today, so hope in my rush to post this, I didn't post anything insensitive to those that believe this. I wouldn't say it's wrong, I don't feel that way, I could be wrong. Only God knows. The Bible says the meek shall inherit the earth, autism could mean that, who knows. I do think the world would be better off run by autistics, that's for sure. I mean environmentally. Maybe other ways too, just not able to consider them all at the moment.

[wallyw1]

Dear Milivica--I understand your point of view completely. It is so difficult to feel that your child is blessed when he and your whole household haven't slept through the night in years or your main purpose in life to keep him from eating raw chicken with bones in it and any other thing that he get his hands on and put in his mouth. In Wally's quiet moments I knew that there were things he knew and I didn't. He does have gifts that he was eventually able to divulge through facilitated communication. Even as he was revealing his wonderful intellect, his behavior wore us all out. Sadly now he can't move because of his ALS.

I think that Mr. Stillman has Aspergers.

God Bless you and your son, I wish you peace and comfort.

Wally's Mom

[milivica]

If I said anything to make you feel disrespected, or that is disrespectful to Wally please tell me - cause that's not right if I did that. I may not believe as the YouTube clip, but that doesn't mean I'm right, or that I have the right to not be supportive of the beliefs of others. After all, the 'others' could be right. I can only speak from my perspective, and what I believe is Vincent's. There surely may be some 'grand plan' that makes our entire life just a millisecond in the grand scheme of things.

I wanted to delete my prior post, but won't unless you or anyone here would like me to...I want to add my different opinion, but don't want to be a jerk.

[peglem]

Well, Mili, I wasn't offended. Autism has been a great source of suffering for my child mostly, but also for her family. I went through the "mad at God" phase...but that hurt me even more. I've kinda settled on the "God can bring greatness out of tragic situations" scenario. I really do believe that. I don't feel like God chose me to parent a "special child" because I'm so special...I know this film didn't say that- but was a great deal of that kinda thing going around when Allie was younger and it made me angry then. I believe God has a plan and Allie certainly is part of it, but I don't think God sent the autism at all, especially not as a gift. That doesn't mean that Allie doesn't have gifts- we all do, just that I don't think the autism, headbanging, aggression, inability to speak, poor motor control are her gifts. Allie is precious and wonderful, its hard to watch someone you love so much struggle so hard.

On the other hand- if people find this video and the book inspirational, I have no problem with that, whatever helps them feel better!

[frogmama]

Everybody has a right to their own beliefs and feelings, right up until they impinge upon someone else's beliefs and feelings. :confused: Certainty leads to the Spanish Inquisition.....

Bill Stillman lives in PA and I've met him several times. He is an interesting guy, but much more high functioning than at least 97% of the people I know with autism. While he was in the process of writing the book he spoke to several parent support groups I attended to get our experiences. It was an intriguing concept (if sorta 'woowoo' supernatural-ish), but not one I could "buy into". Anyway, I'm still a bit angry with God, we are on speaking terms again, but I'm not ready to forgive and forget. Autism is not a gift for my son, if it was I would have saved the damn reciept and returned it immediatley!

[wallyw1]

Dear Milivica, Please leave your post. It is important for you to express your feelings and for people to know what autism can mean to real people. Autism covers a long spectrum from non-verbal people who are self-abusive and in constant motion to people like "Brain Man" and Bill Stillman. I think Bill Stillman is entitled to his say too and who knows it may be a gift to us. Our kids do grow older and they change too. Maybe Teo Zagar's and Bill's movie will have an effect on the children themselves. Maybe, if they have something in common with Bill, they won't feel so alone and frustrated.

I remember the professionals in the programs trying to figure out how to get Wally to sort silverware consistently and I am wondering how that will help him be out in society when he was grabbing everyone's food. At 6' 3" he was pretty intimidating. It was like they were ignoring the elephant in the room. Life sure is frustrating sometimes and with autism maybe every minute.

God Bless You, Milivica and your Vincent. You are a good and loving Mom. We are here to support each other.

Wally's Mom

[mc4_a]

Even if you accept the concept that Autism is more common today, this seems like humans trying to come create answers where none exist.

Autistic children are more spiritual? I simply don't find that to be the case. There's nothing in the scriptures that support this point of view either. If this was part of God's big plan you figure he would have mentioned it. Granted, I'm sure someone will be able to twist a line to two from The Bible to justify this point of view.

[milivica]

Ok I'll leave it then. Just don't want to kill any inspiration to others. For instance, when it comes to my battling with school, and the personal toll it's taking on me, I do believe there's a reason for that, cause I know any yardage I gain in that arena, benefits not just my kid, but others. First in our school district, then hopefully in others as well.

Question, the man who made the YouTube clip, he doesn't have any children on the spectrum? I assumed the girl in the pic was his daughter and her name was Angel.

[QuirkyMotherOf2]

I have that book and I LOVE IT! I too have battled the school endlessly but this book is a good reminder for me during those dark hours.

Also, the author of the book has Asperger's Syndrome. :)

[wallyw1]

Milivica--I think the text about "Angel" was from someone submitting their words on their connection with God.

As for my own experience with the schools, the energy we expend dealing with the powers that be make it difficult to see our children's gifts. I remember that there was a lot of blame put on Wally because he didn't cooperate with them. No one ever realized that Wally had motor planning problems--it was just non-compliance according to the professionals. They told me he was just trying to manipulate them--(how else was he supposed to communicate; he did the best he could.) Probably until everyone in society looks at our children as people with gifts, parents will be fighting the good fight with the schools. Maybe this film will help the people who are in contact with our children think differently and make life better for them.

Wally's Mom

[milivica]

That would sure be nice.