Sad story...mother's who snapped tells her story in court

[mc4_a]

http://www.jg-tc.com/articles/2007/06/06/ap-state-il/d8pj7oeo1.txt
Videotaped confession shown at mother's hearing in murder case

'"It seems that everything I tried to do didn't help her. She was a tough nut to crack," McCarron says of her daughter on the tape, which was played Tuesday in Tazewell County Circuit Court. "I didn't know what to do. She was not learning at a rate I would expect."'

'In the confession, McCarron, who appears calm, says that she killed her daughter at her mother's house and then drove the body back to her own house.'

[milivica]

I was not in this mother's shoes, but based on just the little bit of the story told and only a couple of quotes, I have to say of all the stories like this I've ever heard (and we have heard too many) this story has elicited less compassion from me for the mother, than I would usually feel. Almost like she equated autism and her daughter as one in the same...a curse. I don't hear worry and heartache and fear for the daughter, I dunno. I can't judge, I'm not that mom, but it almost (from the little they quoted) sounds like she didn't get the daughter she felt she should have, like the other mommy's daughters.

What that must have looked like, from her daughter's 'autistic' 3 year old eyes to have your mommy kill you. To fight and struggle to breathe, and your mommy won't let you? Honestly, I can't say as I understand this case from the mom's side. And I'm often the one who feels understanding when others judge and cuss the mom. But not this time, again, based on the limited info. As crazy as it sounds, when I've heard things like this most often I feel the mother was desperate for the CHILD, I don't agree with what they did but can understand getting to that level of desperation. This mom seemed desperate for herself.

I'd like to know more about this story if anyone has more info. Very very sad, so tragic. That poor little girl, what an end - and at only 3 with nothing but hope and potential.

Edited to add: SILENTMIAOW aka ALFAMB has a link I accidentally found online with more of the story.
http://www.astraeasweb.net/politics/mccarron1.html

[Isabelle]

too sad for any comments :( :( :( tears

[callyflower]

Well, I know a little more about it, including the fact that the child was in residential treatment for most of the time, and was only with the mom for a "break" when the murder occured. I don't have a lot of sympathy for the mom as well.

Poor little girl--never had a chance.

[mc4_a]

Yeah, the more I know about the mom, the worse it seems. Poor girl.

[milivica]

Well, I know a little more about it, including the fact that the child was in residential treatment for most of the time, and was only with the mom for a "break" when the murder occured. I don't have a lot of sympathy for the mom as well.

Poor little girl--never had a chance.

Can you post any additional info you read? I didn't realize she was in residential...and this was on break?? OMG. I found it even harder to process all of this, after reading what the little girl's grandpa said. My ma said it sounded like to her, that the mom was embarrassed of her child, like maybe she didn't fit in and the mom was concerned it would make her appear as some kind of a failure as a mother, a failure on her part...my ma is old, from a society that did at one time, think like that, but doesn't agree with it of course. Heck, I remember the home I was in with 3 deaf kids, they would come and visit, but the mom sent them all away to a school for the deaf. Then, it was like if you had some disability you got sent away, taught some really mind numbing job no one could stand to do, and that's how you made a living.

Sorry I'm off topic, didn't want anyone to think my ma condoned this or something. She's fairly comfortable stating her judgments on others, and said someone ought to take a bag and stick it over the mother's head.

Also, I read the woman was a doctor and failed at a suicide attempt with over the counter drugs. What kind of doctor who can get any drug they want, 'fails' at a suicide attempt? Even if she weren't a doctor, just from start to finish, it doesn't seem to be the story of a desperate mother making a horrible decision out of love for their child. (And no I'm not saying it is love when you kill your child).

I think I'm having a lot of difficulty understanding this all together. How can a mother not love their child even more so, when the child needs them even more so? Not that I love my son more than my daughter, but I sure put up with a lot more. And willingly, I'm no prisoner or victim, a little pooped and stressed but that's all.

[peglem]

Well, according to the stories on the link you posted from silentmeow, when the little girl was 2yo, the dad and one set of grandparents moved to NC so the girl could go to an autism school there. Mom and the other child stayed behind because the mom couldn't give up her job. They (dad and daughter) had just recently moved back in with mom when this happened. So, mom had not really been parenting her daughter with autism for quite some time.

[milivica]

OH, I misunderstood that story then, I thought it said the mom went with the girl, but moved back because she was too stressed (or some word like that) by the long separation.

I might want to reread her site again.

[milivica]

Wow, I just read this by the Grandfather himself, after a post from someone:

I am Katie’s grandfather. I and my family would like to thank Stephen Drake for his comments. I too am fed up with the comments from “advocacy” spokespersons. How can people pretending to represent the good of children with autism ignore the murder of a beautiful and dear little child. When I see the lead in line “I don’t approve of murder; but…” I just have to buckle my seat belt because I know, here it comes. The advocate goes on to virtually admit it is OK, or understandable because Katie had autism. If these people are “advocates” for people with autism I can’t imagine what the “opponents” must be like.

I thought that last line was incredibly powerful, very true. "If these people are “advocates” for people with autism I can’t imagine what the “opponents” must be like."

[peglem]

Well, I hate to be judgemental, but just the fact that she was able to send her 2 year old daughter away for so long...I just could never do that, never! I know she was safe with her daddy (I could adjust to him being away;) ), but I need to have my babies with me. Then, with the girl only back 2 weeks, instead of "OMG, I missed you sooo much!", she decides to get rid of her child for good. Its incomprehensible to me. And the fact that there seemed to have been so much family support-much more than most of us have. I agree with grandpa- how dare people make excuses for this mom- if the little girl was NT, they'd be calling for the death penalty!

[callyflower]

Well said, Peg!

[LIZARD]

Wow, I just read this by the Grandfather himself, after a post from someone:

[B]"I am Katie’s grandfather. I and my family would like to thank Stephen Drake for his comments."

Where did you see this?? I know Steve personally. :) He is a tireless disabilities advocate and one anyone would enjoy talking with. He has hydrocephalus himself and has an amazing personal story.

http://www.notdeadyet.org/docs/drakebio.html


LIZARD :)

[MaryEvelyn]

http://www.notdeadyet.org/docs/callforrestraintPR0606.html

This is a link for what Stephen Drake stated on the issue.

[LIZARD]

http://www.notdeadyet.org/docs/callforrestraintPR0606.html

This is a link for what Stephen Drake stated on the issue.

Thanks, M. E.! :) I just bookmarked it.


LIZARD :)

[Pamster]

I agree with Peg, this is just inexcusable and unbelievable that people are tryint to make, I can't even imagine how a mother could do such a horrific thing. Like someone said that Mili agreed with, if they are the advocates for kids with autism trying to 'understand and empathize with thie tragedy' what are the opponents like? This is murder and as such she deserves the fullest extent of the law's punishment, if they decide death, I wouldn't be upset in the least. :mad:

[milivica]

Yesterday, somehow on the Not Dead Yet site, I found an excellent page in 'humor', some kind of violation ticket where you are fined (as a person with a disability) for all kinds of crazy things, but, not so crazy in that it happens. One of the fines was for flipping out after you are egged on all day at school....or said something that reminded me of how Vincent was egged on at school till he'd flip out and get locked in that room. All the 'fines' were M&M's.

[Italia]

we're not in mom's head,so we can't know what really she feels.
Never judge...depression can make persons act like criminals.NEVER JUDGE
One day,someone else couls judge us

[milivica]

People already judge us. ;)

I totally hear you about not judging others, honest I do. But at a certain point, with a certain amount of information, one cannot help but 'evaluate' weather a parent was acting because of their love and desperation, or because of their selfishness and ulterior motives.

That mom had a world of support around her I sure don't know, and I bet you don't either. Her girl was not living with her, was visiting. She had every right to do so without being murdered, she had every reason to live. ..read all the stories, what the grandfather said. I'm ALL FOR supporting other mothers with children on the spectrum, all for supporting all mothers who are doing the very best they can for their children. I just don't see that kind of mother in this story.