Denied surgery because of abuse as a child!

[Debbief]

Today I was denied surgery on my neck because I suffered abuse as a child!! I am totally outraged by this!! He said because I suffered abuse as a child that the surgery is like 60% chance it will fail! Then when I was upset & crying about that he said "well hey if you want we can just go ahead & start the process of the surgery I make a hell of alot of money from it anyway. But you have to see a psychologist & you will fail the psyc exam because of your abuse!!" Then he could set me up in a pain management group so I can talk to someone!! I told him I dont want to talk about my abuse that I did that when I was younger! I want to let it do! He says studies prove that people who suffer abuse dont do well with surgery!

So what they think because I was abused I want this pain?? I told him I hit my damn head & woke up like this. Its not Something I just said hey I think my neck will hurt now!

Now what the heck can I do? Just suffer! My life is **** now as it is. Because of something I suffered as a child I am denied a chance for my pain to lessen. And now this %$^& is written in my medical records! Because of the abuse I suffered as a child I am considered what a nut case? This is total BS and I dont know what to do now?

Anyone else have BS like this? I just dont get it! Thanks I needed to vent! I am very upset by this!

DebbieF

[Gimpy]

WOW!!!!! I thought I'd hear everything. I'd go to another dr. immeditely. This person sounds like a wacko job! What a horrible thing to say. I can't imagine it would have any impact on your surgical outcome. Now if he suffered as a child, I could see the potentional for him to go off the deep end during surgery, but the patient! That's absurd!!!!!!!!

Wacky Tacky docs practice medicine...........................

Please don't give up, and forget what this idiot has said. Actually I'd probably file a complaint with the medical board in your area.

Hang in there, someone will help you!

Gimpy

[shotspine]

That is completely ridiculous and disgusting. I'm with Gimpy.....file a complaint. I see you live in Washington. We seem to have more than our share of wacko docs. If you will post what area you live in and what kind of Dr. you need, maybe someone can offer a referral. Whatever you do, don't go back to this mad man.

I am so sorry this has happened to you. It is total CRAP!!!!:mad:
Keep coming here for support and any help we can give you.

((((((((Hugs))))))))

ss

[debhun]

I can tell you I was to as a child. But I never went for any kind of help for it. But mine was sexually. It took me a very long time to get over it. Then My first husband did the same thing to me for 20 years. I couldn't take it any longer I up and left him. It took some time but I am over it. My DH now is the best thing that happen to me.

But I don't have any idea Why it would stop him to do your sugary. I think you need to see some one else. I think Gimpy Is right.

Deb

[moose53]

GEEZE :mad: I second everything that Gimpy said -- whackjob, report to the state medical board.

If everybody that had been abused when they were a child were denied surgery, every single doctor in the world would be out of business.

This just totally does NOT make any sense at all.

PLUS, he sounds abusive. Why would a surgeon be talking this way to a patient?? Does he also have degree in psychiatry??

I've heard of some surgeries where they recommend that you talk with a psychiatrist before the surgery -- especially sterilization surgeries.

What he said was just unconscionable.

I would not let that guy near me. Find someone else that knows his job.

BIG HUGS.

Barb

[911]

thats total bull$$$$ !!! i am really sorry it suck thqat anyone would have to go thru abuse and deal with it for life nevermind having cronic pain to , i have a son that was abused as well so i am familure with some of the issues , he has since done very well and you woulodnt know it to see him. i am terrible sorry deb you have my best wishes ,,,,, Dave aka 911

[Pharmacist.steve]

Today I was denied surgery on my neck because I suffered abuse as a child!! I am totally outraged by this!! He said because I suffered abuse as a child that the surgery is like 60% chance it will fail! Then when I was upset & crying about that he said "well hey if you want we can just go ahead & start the process of the surgery I make a hell of alot of money from it anyway. But you have to see a psychologist & you will fail the psyc exam because of your abuse!!" Then he could set me up in a pain management group so I can talk to someone!! I told him I dont want to talk about my abuse that I did that when I was younger! I want to let it do! He says studies prove that people who suffer abuse dont do well with surgery!

So what they think because I was abused I want this pain?? I told him I hit my damn head & woke up like this. Its not Something I just said hey I think my neck will hurt now!

Now what the heck can I do? Just suffer! My life is **** now as it is. Because of something I suffered as a child I am denied a chance for my pain to lessen. And now this %$^& is written in my medical records! Because of the abuse I suffered as a child I am considered what a nut case? This is total BS and I dont know what to do now?

Anyone else have BS like this? I just dont get it! Thanks I needed to vent! I am very upset by this!

DebbieF

It sounds to me that the doc considers you to be a "failure" within his skill sets.. He is most likely just protect his braggin rights.. of how many successful patients that he had taken care of... Of course... if you cherry pick the patient you want to treat so that you have no failures.. sure makes you look good and it is good for his ego..

I had a pain doc tell my wife that she would FAIL being a successful implanted pain pump.. because of a psychological test she took... two docs later and one implanted pump.. after one year with it ... she is without a question a complete success... better pain management with fewer side effects in over 10 yrs...

RUN don't WALK from this quack and find a competent doctor...

[spoiledbeth]

I have to agree with everyone else, get a second or third or fourth opinion and never let that doc touch you again! Sometimes surgeons are more worried about their success rates than dealing with you as a person, and have no darn bedside manner at all!

[Mark N]

Everyone has given you the right advice but based on what you said he is willing to do the surgery. I just wouldn't let him near me with his attitude. I hope you find a doctor that is willing to care for you and help you whether it is surgery or pain management.

[Lea]

That is the biggest pile of BS I have ever heard of! Being abused as a child has nothing to do with how you will physically heal. What utter nonsense!

I'm with everyone else, run don't walk away from that quack.

As if there isn't enough stigma attached to childhood abuse, this bozo has to add his insult to injury. What complete ignorance. Where's he get his psych degree? K-Mart?

[Maggie]

I have worked with hundreds of doctors. Just enough to know that there are indeed cases like this one. I could name several that act so strangely that I am horrified to be in a strange town and have to pick a doctor.

I respect most all of them but there is indeed some I've warned other people about. The one case I can mention is a doctor who was obssessive compulsive and had to go through his "routine" before he saw each patient in the hospital.

[Peter B]

Deb,

RUN.
Any doc that expects failure doesn't get my vote.

[suede]

Deb,
I'm so sorry you are having to be put through this.
Just remember they don't call us survivors for nothing!
Don't give up, I know how hard it can be..
Linda

[jena1225]

Wow, Ceb, that truely is sad :( That Docor is completely heartless and should not be in the medical field, or any field for that matter!

I say REPORT HIM for sure. And please do it for you AND all the people that who are unfortunate enough to choose him for their care in the future. You never know how many other complaints he has. Actually, probably not many, since we have enough on our plates to have to put something else on there, but I really hope you do it. Does he have anything at all to back up what he said??

Ok, enough of that, it just makes me so mad :mad:

I hope you find another Doctor soon so you can get some relief. It has been a few days since that happened, so how are things today?

[Spiney]

Lots of great advise. Do report that turkey and be sure to tell your primary doc about this so he/she does not do any referrals to that practice. Hang tough and best wishes.

[krashleen]

Devils advocate here..THE DOCTOR WAS WRONG!! BUT....

I wonder if my surgery wasn't an outstanding or even a minimal success due to abuse that I suffered as a child??

Just thinking out loud...anyone else wonder why we end up this way even with the best of care?

And Deb? I am sorry that your doctor is treating you this way and if he doesn't have confidence and is semi-predicting failure, well he isn't the right surgeon for you. We have to be optimistic!!!
Find another surgeon that believes in himself and more IMPORTANTLY YOU, enough to try a procedure to alleviate your pain...
hugs

[Mark N]

Krashleen, some good questions about this issue but unless it gives a person a genetic predispensation to not heal from injuries the doctor is full of IT. There might be something to it about your attitude going into surgery or how you will handle recovery but that doesn't work either, because all kinds of people heal from spinal surgeries: positive attitudes, negative attitudes, nice people, nasty people, moral people and immoral people, etc.

There are health related factors that effect our healing but I haven't seen any indication that previous abuse as a child is one of them.

Thanks for getting to think about this instead of glossing over it by focusing on the doctor's attitude.

[krashleen]

Thanks for bringing that up. Why bad people still have good outcomes in many things.

I have always viewed myself as a survivor, and I am sure that Debhun does too.

It was just a thought. We have a veritable melting pot of all kinds here and just trying to think it through, whereas I don't want to put this into my own doctor's mind.

Thanks Mark...and Deb how are you?

[Sara1979]

That is absolutely ridiculous. I would be so livid.

Interestingly though, my first PM Doc asked me about any type of abuse and how my relationship was with my family. He sd that abuse causes your sensory system to overload more easily and makes you more susceptible to pain. Also, you are on more high alert and tense more. I don't know if there is any truth behind it but it is interesting to hear another Doctor mention it.

I am sorry you are going through this and hope you can find a more compassionate, level-headed Doc.

[debhun]

DebbieF I went to PM yesterday and I was asked if I was abuse at any time in my life? And I said yes and told what happen. And and guess what she said? Well I think you should see a psychologist. I had to laugh inside on my head cause I had read your post. I told her sure why not. It not bother me it happen to long ago and I done with it. so go ahead send me to one. I just had to let you know.


deb

[GardeniaGirl]

This kind of thing really chaps my hide.

Years ago I went to get some bio-feedback, to help with pain.

The woman asked if I had been abused as a child (I have) and proceeded to go into a big long lecture about how if I healed from the abuse, my pain would go away.

It was at that point that I stopped telling medical providers about child abuse.

At this point in time, no one can identify a causal relationship btw childhood abuse and adult health problems. Correlation is likely simply because child abuse is widespread and so are adult health problems.

But correlation does not prove causality.

And that is what I think a lot of medical people forget.

[Kira]

I think it's horrible that they would deny you surgery just because of what happened to you in the past.

I have had them ask about abuse as a kid, too. I think it is on the list of questions they ask about to find out where you are at psychologically... depression, anxiety, PTSD, etc can contribute to how we experience our pain.

BUT... I think the most important thing is what they do with that information about how we are doing psychologically. If they find out that we are dealing with significant depression or anxiety, good doctors will help get the resources and care we need to deal with those mood issues, but they will NOT use it as an excuse to deny us care for coexisting physical problems.

Unfortunately, doctors grow up in the same society as the rest of us, and they often look at psych/emotional issues with the same stigma that the rest of society does. There are a lot of docs who will attribute a patient's physical complaints to psych issues as soon as they hear the words "depression" or "anxiety" or "abuse,' no matter how objective the physical illness seems. They seem to especially do this to women. And, because pain is such a subjective thing (no lab or scan to show how much pain someone feels), doctors seem to be even more likely to attribute pain to "you're just depressed" or "it's your anxiety."

As someone with depression that has been pretty severe at times, this whole thing drives me crazy (no pun intended). I have a lot of concrete, objective tests backing me up when I tell the doctors that I have mitochondrial disease, am having symptoms of another rhabdomyolysis attack, etc. But, before my diagnosis of mitochondrial disease, I have had numerous doctors try to blame it all on my depression... even when I had clear attacks of rhabdomyolysis, obvious metabolic acidosis, etc.

Now that my diagnosis is so well-documented, they tend to do it the other way around and blame my depression entirely on my physical issues... I find myself having to remind my psychiatrist that there are a lot of "life" issues that lead to my crappy mood, too. They (two psychiatrists, two neuromuscular doctors, two metabolic/genetics doctors, my primary care doc, my therapist, my mom) all think that my worst mood episodes are related to when my metabolic (mito) issues are all out of whack... that there are biochemical reasons leading to it. We have a lot of reasons for thinking that, which I'm not going to get into right now b/c this post is long enough and I am off on a tangent, and I agree with them that there is a definite metabolic piece to my worst moods.

BUT they are all very tempted to leave it at that and just tell me to wait it out, tell myself it is because of my physical stuff, take my mito supplements and be good about nutrition and sleep, and it will pass. What they sometimes overlook is that there is more to it than that... I get depressed and anxious about all of the crap going on in my life. My therapist is good at focusing on the life stuff with me, but my other docs sometimes overlook it and focus on the physical stuff. Weird, huh? I would much rather have it this way, though, than to have them go back to saying my physical illness is all in my head. That was horrible.

I really think you need to keep looking for a doc that will take you seriously and will try hard to rule out anything physical before blaming your symptoms on your mood. It is hard to keep sticking up for yourself when they don't believe you, but you owe it to yourself and you can do it.

[Debbief]

Thanks for all your support & comments! I am going to another Dr & I did tell my primary care Doc about it. and I am going to make a report! Even though I feel like he is a Dr & am just 1 patient. Who are they going to believe, ya know??

Also I got a copy of my records at that Drs office. He totally lied in that report! Saying I was crying because he told me there was only a 20-30% chance surgery would help me (which I told him I was willing to take that chance just for a little pain relief!!) All kinds of other things he lied about in it. The whole report is fiction! Is there anything I can do about it? he sent a copy to my pain management Dr. Any ideas on what I could or should do about it?

He totally mede me looke like I was a hysterical depressed person! When I am the total oppisite! I am very up beat & a happy person! He is just trying to make himself look good!

[Pharmacist.steve]

Thanks for all your support & comments! I am going to another Dr & I did tell my primary care Doc about it. and I am going to make a report! Even though I feel like he is a Dr & am just 1 patient. Who are they going to believe, ya know??

Also I got a copy of my records at that Drs office. He totally lied in that report! Saying I was crying because he told me there was only a 20-30% chance surgery would help me (which I told him I was willing to take that chance just for a little pain relief!!) All kinds of other things he lied about in it. The whole report is fiction! Is there anything I can do about it? he sent a copy to my pain management Dr. Any ideas on what I could or should do about it?

He totally mede me looke like I was a hysterical depressed person! When I am the total oppisite! I am very up beat & a happy person! He is just trying to make himself look good!

I would contact the state licensing board, state health dept and/or the state attorney general and see what your rights are under your state laws. You may be able to force doc jerk to include a written statement in your records from you refuting his statements and will have to be sent that to any/all medical providers that ever have or had requested your medical records from him.

[suede]

Deb,
Steve has given you some good advice.
On top of that I would write a letter to that Dr. saying what you have said here about everything being false, I would keep the letter as short as possible and precise with out over emotion, myself I would place a copy of that letter in my files and I would send him a copy certified then place your receipt showing you sent him a copy of the letter and that it was signed for in your files.
Then any calls you make as Steve suggested, log date and time and who you spoke to, also keep this in your file, and any and all written correspondence involving this matter..
I would be very shocked if you get this DR to retract any thing that was said, however you will have proof you do not agree to what he has stated and it should pull weight.
I know it may seem extreme, if I have learned anything this past 8 years it is to document EVERYTHING!!
I grew up in an mentally, physically, sexually abusive environment and went on to continue in that type of relationships til my mid 30's. the only thing I feel that has to do with that and my present condition is that it played a large part in the damage to my body.
I had a Therapist tell me back when this first started that in his belief, that the pain was all in my mind and that I missed the pain and drama in my life.
WHAT A CROCK !!
I have also learned to try to keep my emotions down when seeing Drs I do not have a close on going relationship with, believe I understand how you feel I have cried more tears over my present pain and conditions then I ever did in the first 30 plus years of my life.
Best of luck and I'm happy to hear your not giving up..
Linda

[Mark N]

Linda, told you what I was going to say to you. Follow Steve's plan and then the extra ideas Linda gave you. I hope you follow through with this because you need to have evidence to contradict his notes in the future and if you do nothing his notes become the gospel.

[butterflyblooms]

Deb, Just wanted to say that I am sorry that you are having to even deal with at all. But from your posts you sound like a strong person and can get through this.

I wonder sometimes if doc'd realize how much their comments effect us? I mean, they usually see at least, what 4 patients an hour and they are there 8hours at least so that is 32 patients in a one day. Once we walk out of that room they forget about us, but we are left with their comments. And being in CP you are desperately searching for anything to stop it.

I wonder if that doc even took that into consideration? Obviously, NOT from your medical reports. I agree with Suede, she gave you some really good ideas on how to handle this guy.

I hope you making a formal complaint helps other that have to see him in the future. Even if nothing "formally" happens to him maybe just you telling him how he maybe you feel in the certified letter will make him aware of how he is talking to patients, and how that effects them.

Good for you Deb for not taking this and doing something about it.
Take care of YOU
BB

[curiousforever]

Thanks for all your support & comments! I am going to another Dr & I did tell my primary care Doc about it. and I am going to make a report! Even though I feel like he is a Dr & am just 1 patient. Who are they going to believe, ya know??

Also I got a copy of my records at that Drs office. He totally lied in that report! Saying I was crying because he told me there was only a 20-30% chance surgery would help me (which I told him I was willing to take that chance just for a little pain relief!!) All kinds of other things he lied about in it. The whole report is fiction! Is there anything I can do about it? he sent a copy to my pain management Dr. Any ideas on what I could or should do about it?

He totally mede me looke like I was a hysterical depressed person! When I am the total oppisite! I am very up beat & a happy person! He is just trying to make himself look good!

I'm so sorry....I agree with Steve also.