Angelspirit
10-16-2006, 09:49 AM
Its been two weeks today since you passed into the world of Spirit Dad. I know you are my own very Special Angel. It still hasn't hit me Dad. I know I spent the last 5 months caring for you everyday with Mom. I watched you go from completly independent to totally dependent on us the last 3 weeks. I know it bothered you to have to rely on us, you were the strong, brave and tough type. Your the only man who could rip his finger almost off at work, and wrap it up in black electrical tape and continue working!!!
I remember you started to cry though, that one day, and You were worried about how much more Mom and I could handle, you were so worried about us, never about yourself. :( Oh Dad, we did it out of Love, your my Dad and I loved helping you! I can't get that out of my mind. You worried about us all the time, never thinking of yourself Dad. That moment you had, makes me sad, because you broke down and I know you only felt comfortable doing so with just Mom and I. I feel honored you could be yourself with us.
You taught me Strength, Love and Compassion. In turn, I am raising my boys the way you raised us. I am complimented all the time on how the boys are. Its because of YOU Dad. I had a Great Teacher and Best Friend in YOU.
I still wake up and look at your picture and say, "Good Morning Dad", just like I did every morning when Mom and I came in to get you up for the day. They say you go through stages of grief, shock, denial ect. I am in both right now.
I know those last 4 horrible hours you spent struggling and trying to hang on for us, although we told you it was okay to let go, are still fresh in my mind. I am trying Dad to wipe that away, that was not you lying there. I know you would be telling me now, "Enough already, let it go", I'm trying Dad. I really am, but I am afraid to feel, because it scares me when I really feel and let go, that I'll never stop crying. I know you'll be there in Spirit holding Me when the time comes.
I promised you in your final hour, that Hubby(Kid), Me(Dear) and our boys(your buddies) would take care of Mom and that I would be okay, that I would be strong for You. I am taking care of Mom, we are staying here with her for good. She doesn't want to be alone in the house.
I hope you know how much I love you and will continue to do so, and I hope I did you proud by us moving in and taking care of You and helping Mom. People Keep telling Me, "You have earned your place in Heaven for doing this, you being there, allowed your Dad to stay at home and pass at home where he was comfortable". I didn't do it for that reason Dad, although I need all the help I can get, :o (as you know), I did it for YOU and Mom. Its the least I could have done for all you've done for Everyone.
I love you Daddy and I miss you SO very much, I hope you hear Me when I talk to you daily. I hope you heard Me whispering in your ear during those final hours of your life on Earth, before your Spirit went Home. I bet your having fun in Heaven, eating lobsters, going crabbing and fishing and seeing all your old friends and most of all, seeing Gram, Grampa, Nana and Grampa. Tell them "Hello" for Me. Until me again..............
Love,
Me
I remember you started to cry though, that one day, and You were worried about how much more Mom and I could handle, you were so worried about us, never about yourself. :( Oh Dad, we did it out of Love, your my Dad and I loved helping you! I can't get that out of my mind. You worried about us all the time, never thinking of yourself Dad. That moment you had, makes me sad, because you broke down and I know you only felt comfortable doing so with just Mom and I. I feel honored you could be yourself with us.
You taught me Strength, Love and Compassion. In turn, I am raising my boys the way you raised us. I am complimented all the time on how the boys are. Its because of YOU Dad. I had a Great Teacher and Best Friend in YOU.
I still wake up and look at your picture and say, "Good Morning Dad", just like I did every morning when Mom and I came in to get you up for the day. They say you go through stages of grief, shock, denial ect. I am in both right now.
I know those last 4 horrible hours you spent struggling and trying to hang on for us, although we told you it was okay to let go, are still fresh in my mind. I am trying Dad to wipe that away, that was not you lying there. I know you would be telling me now, "Enough already, let it go", I'm trying Dad. I really am, but I am afraid to feel, because it scares me when I really feel and let go, that I'll never stop crying. I know you'll be there in Spirit holding Me when the time comes.
I promised you in your final hour, that Hubby(Kid), Me(Dear) and our boys(your buddies) would take care of Mom and that I would be okay, that I would be strong for You. I am taking care of Mom, we are staying here with her for good. She doesn't want to be alone in the house.
I hope you know how much I love you and will continue to do so, and I hope I did you proud by us moving in and taking care of You and helping Mom. People Keep telling Me, "You have earned your place in Heaven for doing this, you being there, allowed your Dad to stay at home and pass at home where he was comfortable". I didn't do it for that reason Dad, although I need all the help I can get, :o (as you know), I did it for YOU and Mom. Its the least I could have done for all you've done for Everyone.
I love you Daddy and I miss you SO very much, I hope you hear Me when I talk to you daily. I hope you heard Me whispering in your ear during those final hours of your life on Earth, before your Spirit went Home. I bet your having fun in Heaven, eating lobsters, going crabbing and fishing and seeing all your old friends and most of all, seeing Gram, Grampa, Nana and Grampa. Tell them "Hello" for Me. Until me again..............
Love,
Me