I am surprised no one has posted here

[juliekingsley101]

I think everyone has disagreements with people and many need to bury the hatchet.

[suede]

I'm just afraid where I might bury the hatchet!!

[Jennybean]

I think everyone has disagreements with people and many need to bury the hatchet.

At the same time, they may not be ready or willing to let go of that anger. I know it sounds horrible, but I still hate the former friend who broke my foot. He never acknowledged his responsibility because he was drunk and he never apologized for it. He even called me a liar and said it was my fault, not his, that my foot was in the way when he fell. Because of this event, I now have Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy, which has completely altered my life. Meanwhile, he's still out getting drunk and being a jerk.

[The Dude]

I wish i could bury the hatchet with someone but they dont want to :(

[suede]

The Dude,
Sometimes it's hard to accept that some relationships and friendships are meant to come to an end.
It's all the harder when we end on bad terms or with harsh words between us.
I have several famuily members that this has happened to with me and as much as I would like to let by gones be by gones, I have to accept that these were unhealthy relationships and let go..
Linda

[The Dude]

http://brain.hastypastry.net/forums/images/icons/icon9.gif

[Abby]

Suede is right I'm afraid. It's not a good place to be either.:( First hand experience.

I've had to work on my feelings, try deciding what was important and what wasn't. If I feel forgivenss in my heart, try to make things right, but the other party just doesn't want to lay these things down and go on with me a part of their life I can't make them.

The best I can do is show how I feel by my actions and words. The rest will be up to them. It is so sad for things to be this way, especially when it is a close relative.

I'm at that point with some family members and I would do most anything to make things right, but as I said before, I can't make them:(

Dude, I hope it all will work out for both of us. Maybe someone has a crystal ball;)
take care, Abby

[The Dude]

God bless you Abby.......

Kind words there!!!

http://img138.**********.us/img138/435/grouphugym7.gif

[vlhperry]

Hi Dude,

I haven't had much to do with my father for 30 years due to incest. My sisters told me he had changed. But when I called him to try to "Bury the hatchet" he thrust the hatchet by acting as if he knew I couldn't stay out of touch with him forever and wanted him to hurt me again. He kept making references to how young he still was and "Your would like that, wouldn't you?"
He showed absolutely no expression of regret for what he had done. My sisters still keep him a part of their family. When my sister's son got married, my sister invited both my Dad and me, knowing I wouldn't come to anything my Dad was at. She said it was my descision to make, not hers. I responded that I felt she didn't give much thought to what he put me through.

But it was 30 years ago for me and she had been in touch with him all that time as well as my other sister. I couldn't expect them to not let some one close to them be punished because of his behaivior toward me. I still feel angry that they have a relationship with him, vist him two or three times a year. I have received 2 vists from one sister, and my other sister has never visted me, not even when she received an invitation to my son's wedding.

You can't control other people. You can only hope to keep the door open so one day they will discover they need you too. I stay in touch with bothe sisters.

Don't know if this helps, but sometimes we have to swallow the emotions and act on logic.

Vicky

[The Dude]

You can't control other people. You can only hope to keep the door open so one day they will discover they need you too.Very strong words there........

Im hoping for a miracle myself with a few people

:(

[Cry Tears]

Vicky....I know that ugly feeling. I was hated by my father. His brother molested me....but my "bio sperm donor" told me it was just childs play between a 22 yo boy and 5 year old me! That perhaps I was dreaming false memories about it. Yeah....like one can dream those nightmares up!
The last time I saw him he was yelling at me telling me what a F up I was, that my PhD'd sisters ment the world to him....that I had never gone anywhere with my education because I got PG...sisters chose abortions.
He said he hated me the moment of conception. I was the only one who received his slappings and fist in my face. Sadly, he taught my siblings to feel the same towards me...so I'm totally shunned by my family.
After a lot of self soul searching, honest counceling, I've come to the realization that I did nothing wrong and was wrongly put in the position of Mothering my siblings so my mom could work/school.
I've tried making peace with them, but non are interested.
I even forgave my father numerous times after his beatings....always unwarranted...but just the sight of me brought out his anger.
He's in a nursing home, alone and has dementia. When he drops dead, I will only feel sad that I never had a father. I'll stay home and let my sicko family "roast" me at his funeral.
Vicky...I wonder how your sisters will handle your father when he gets around thier children. Do they ever worry about his molesting them?
He WILL repeat this offense on a child...especially seeing his unrepentance and errogant about the fact he got away with it.
One day your sisters will see all this much differenty should his behaviour continue with their little ones. This is a dangerous situation they will put their kids in. How utterly awful.
I am sorry your sisters are so unsupportive and distance themselves from you. I know the heartache you are feeling. Sadly my sister was able to persuade the girls we adopted to join in with the shunning. So I've been totally outcasted by them all. Holidays are especially hard, but I do have my son and grand daughter who love and understand. Its hurt them as well.
I know I've done nothing to deserve any of this....that it stems from shear jealousy and taught hatred.
My heart is open for healing and forgiveness...but theirs is not.
They are missing out on one great sister! My heart is broken, its been years and I doubt this pain will ever heal. Ive done all I could....its just not hopeful anymore...too long a time has passed. How sad.
Blessings to you. Cheryl

[The Dude]

God bless you crytears :)

[Starfire]

truthfully, my experience was the exac opposite of vicky's and crytears'...

my girlfriend and i once had a drink-out on our first anniversary, which we did in our my room... when we were drunk as ****, that's when she finally said that the only reason for seeing me that night was to break up with me...

and for some reason, i blacked out... when i came to my senses, i was on top of her half-naked body...

i haven't forgiven myself ever since... she's been able to forgive me about three years after it happened, but i've never been able to live with myself... now i'm deathly scared of getting drunk and blacking out again... there are times when i'm afraid of going to sleep since i'm kinda unsure about where i'll be when i wake up...

sometimes burying the hatchet with yourself is the hardest thing to do...

[JAVISI]

I did post on this site a long time ago. I had another person that would post after everyone of my posts and argue about everything I said so I came to this site and tried to agree to disagree and move on.

She never reciprocated only said that she would not agree to disagree. I left the site for a long time and have just recently come back.:) .

It helped me to get it off of my chest and I was better for it but unfotunatly when you can not accomplish what you want if the other person doesn't want to reciprocate.

I was a Nurse and had to take care of a man that tried to molest me. It was very hard but I knew I had to do my job, and treat him like all of my other patients. I came to terms with it and thought, eventually he will be judged and not by me!

I hope that we can all Dream Big, and find Inner Peace!
Javisi:)

[justme]

Javisi--
Well, you disagreed with me. I'm still here; I've always been here--I have another user name now, so you don't have to follow me and get overly upset about pettiness.
Life can eb difficult enough without adding such insignificant things that are blown so broadly out of proprtion. It is not necessary to add to the pain that is in the world--when there is more than enough to go around. Quite a while ago, you hadd a tendency to put words in my mouth. I see that you still have that inclination. I never said I wasn't for peace.
I'd like peace amongst people....and the world.....and...
someday......
the battlefield of my mind....will find peace, too.

[Cry Tears]

Thats all I can say...wow!
Life is so nasty and painful enough in itself....why add uglyness on top of it?
My oh my...I guess you've just got to take with grains of salt...that some people like to put salt in wounds! yes....pund intended here! LOL!
I'm just so happy my brain isn't in turmoil...spilled over onto others so they can hurt as well!
And my brain is just running over with sillyness....spewing out luaghter all around me! Go ahead...laugh at me! Yes...we all need a little laughter here in this painful world.
Like they say..."Lifes a beach....then you meet some!" LOL!:D
Have an awesome, wonderful day!
Spread some laughter around and practice random acts of kindness!
Blessings, cheryl
Hey...who cut the cheese? See pics for ans!

[justme]

If anybody out there lives by their computer, you might want to heed this warning. I just got word of a new computer virus (the name escapes me), that attaches itself to yuor hard drive if you open up images. Somebody on MySpace created it. It may be a hoax--but then, I'm not taking any chances....

[Cry Tears]

My images I've posted are from pictures I've taken with my digital camera, then downloaded onto my computer then downsized in order to post here on BT,
You will NOT get a virus from opening up anything I post! I promise!
Besides...one should always have protection in place...you'd be foolish to operate without it these days.
If that virus Justme talks about is true, then opening up BT would harm your hardrive as well!
This isn't "My Space" so dont have to worry about getting a virus from opening up a picture someone from BT here has posted.
Blessings, Cheryl

[Jo6]

My images I've posted are from pictures I've taken with my digital camera, then downloaded onto my computer then downsized in order to post here on BT,
You will NOT get a virus from opening up anything I post! I promise!
Besides...one should always have protection in place...you'd be foolish to operate without it these days.
If that virus Justme talks about is true, then opening up BT would harm your hardrive as well!
This isn't "My Space" so dont have to worry about getting a virus from opening up a picture someone from BT here has posted.
Blessings, Cheryl

Like you, I would think there would be more people post here, but alas, for whatever reason they don't.

So, I think we know each other and have some of the same "issues". To get this Forum a jump started I will ask you to forgive me. Would you dear? I really do think it is time to move on, don'cha think?

:D :) :p Now, if you have any problems with me please just tell me, spit it right out and we'll get it squared away.

Ahhhhhh, I already feel better, do you? Kidding aside, you do make me laugh especially when YOU laugh. See, I know what you are doing when you laugh because I have that SAME problem. You take care and remember I love you, Julia

[brianpark]

I feel like I owe amends to MGH for interupting the spirit of peace in 2000,I owe ammends to anyone and everyone I hurt back then and just grateful to be allowed back in MGH. Thank you JL .I have gone from the name Jasarbrain back then to pogobean ,also bpg is ascii and brianpark is name here now. I wish to face the past make ammends if needed and go on w/life in peace w/others and myself.ty.

[JAVISI]

Dear Friends,
Like I had posted before, I have moved on. You can not get forgiveness from someone who does not want to forgive.
I have come to the conclusion that all you can do is ask and then move on. My life and time is too precious to dwell on disagreements that really don't matter.
My life maybe cut short and I don't want to live with sadness or resentment inside of me, when you can't even agree to disagree it is time to leave it at that and move on! My experience here atBT, has been wonderful! I have met the most wonderful and understanding people. I will not let one person run me away like I did before.

This site is great therapy to me. So let's all love life and move on. Not dwelling on the negative people we have passed on this site but only on the positive people that are truely your friends and understand and want to listen to you.
I think that is what this site is truely for!;)

[HickabillyGurl]

I am new here and I am not sure this thread took the direction the poster/ mods who set it in motion intended it to go......

Good try starters......

Great idea....I know I do and I suppose all of us in one way or another need to take advantage of this thread.....I do have more then one person in my life who now has a strained or non-existent friendship/relationship.

I say oh well....dookie happens.....life is to short to stress over that sort of stuff.....I Have a disease that is already robbing me and has poisioned my ife....I am not willing to allow poision to trickle in in the form of bad relationships with people who eat me alive....

I have a woderful wonderful husband whom is my best friend.....some awesome kids and THEY are my best friends......I mean after all isnt it "supposed" to be that way?????


Thanks for a wonderful site in which to post these thoughts!!!!

[joy]

Hi hickabilly gurl Well that's a wonderful attitude. I'm glad that you have a good one on the subject. Many don't and it's hard. So this is a wonderful place to let it all out and safe and people usually are supportive here and that helps all ;). May you always be ahead in the game of life.

[Stetson]

My father walked out on my sister and me when I was 4 and she was 6 months old.I
always knew it left a big hole in my soul but never knew how bad until I had my own children. I got to watch them grow up, my childhood memories that were suppressed came to the surfaces bringing out all the pent up emotions I haven't felt in years.
That little boy grew up to be a man and put the old man on the spot and ask the hard question but never got an answers.I left him with the satisfaction that I am a better man
and I kept my promise to my grandmother to attempt grow the relationship but it never
had a foundation.

[joy]

stetson it's good to hear that you kept that promise. myself i am trying to be the kind of grandparent that will inspire my grandkids to be a better person themself rather than be like what they are accustomed to living with themselves. i know it is hard for kids to grow up and be better when they have not had a good exaple to look up to.

you have honored your grandmother