my poetry..please comment!

[eazilyconfused345]

Dana
She said the words
i love you sweety
and all i could do
was sit there and weep
to brely utter the words
i love you too
was all that i could manage to do
these words are imprinted
on my heavy heart forever
how much they mean?
i could never tell her
so i tell you again
i love you too
and these words i say
i swear are true


CaliforniaDana
does she really know
what a blessing she is?
i love her
and havent even met her
there are no words to describe
how she makes me feel inside
shes so amazing
her happiness is contagious
so dont give up mom
stand tall and tough mom
you're so beautiful to me mom
cant you see mom?
no matter what mom
i will love you just the same










these two following poems are dedicated to Eden and her amazing family.without yuor amazing support, i wouldnt be where i am today.thanks and i love you guys
Eden
words cannot express
how it feels to have a friend like you
always doin' the things you do
you make me so happy all the time
so much so i want to cry
you really understand what its like to be me
always lookin past what other people see
your so wonderful in my eyes
you make people happy
without even one try
I love you my friend
and this is true
know that i will always
be there for you

Does she realize?
she makes me realize
what it's like to be alive
shes always there to talk to me
each and every night
she doesnt know
that shes the one i holds on for
the one that makes me not feel
the pain anymore
does she realize?
what i see when i look into her eyes?
hope, joy, and happiness
is what i see when it comes to this
i need so much to be in her presence
to feel that i cvan make it through all of this
without her i wouldnt be where i am today
does she realize?
i fear she's not here to stay
please, please dont go away
or i will be all alone here
with no reason to stay







**to those of you who survived,know someone who did,or helped liberate the people of the holocaust,this is dedicated to you.you show emense courage and faith. i know i will never forget.i will do everything in my power to stop it from happening again.god bless to all**
holocaust
millions dying
millions crying
have we forgotten?
do you remember?
they do.
they were people just like you
everything was taken from them
in the blink of an eye
it felt useless to even try
to fight for the freedom
they believed in
no time to say goodbye
it sickens me
all the trickery
that went into this treachery


untitled
there are times when my mind gets to me
constantly wondering
what my fate will be
will i lose touch with all of my loved ones?
will my soul ever be free from this constant misery?
will i become the girl i was "meant" to be?
will i stop letting people down?
stop being frowned upon?
some of these answers i may never know
yet maybe my wilted hope will grow.



Drowning
drowning,drowning
i cant breath
drowning, drowning
please save me
drowning drowning
not much to go on for
drowning,drowning
i cant take it anymore
drowning,drowning
pull me out
drowning, drowning
can you hear my shouts?
drowning, drowning
can you see me
drowning, drowning
are you near me?
drowning, drowning
all alone
drowning, drowning
no one to hold


Picture perfect

Every time I look at the pictures
It’s like the pain has regrown
Started over
Become more intense, sharper
Even more unbearable
But despite the pain
I looked at the pictures
I couldn’t help it
As the memories happy and sad
Flooded my mind
I became mad at myself for looking
Looking at the distant images
But at the same time
I felt a flicker of comfort wash over me








Questions

Its so tiring
Everyday
Thinking about the sadness and pain
It scares me how much I care
How much they affect me
Should it be this way?
Is there something wrong with me?
Am I the only person they have influenced?
It feels like my heart is going to burst
Into a million little pieces
One minute I'm happy
Then the next
I’m as deep into the sadness as I have ever been
Missing them so much it hurts
I know this pain all too well
I need a break from it all
Do they feel the same way?
I wish I knew
They have been there for me through the toughest times
Will they continue to be there?
Or will they leave like all of the others?
Just when I need them most?
I’m probably just another person to them
But they are more then just a person to me
But I truly do hope I made a difference in the life of this person
And they see how much I care




Goodbye

Please, don’t go
So many times I have heard the words
“I will always be here for you”
And yet everyone I know who has ever spoken those words
Leaves
For whatever reason
I may never know
It always ends the same
I find myself alone
Wanting so badly to know the sweet comfort of that certain voice
That certain hug
That certain someone









Light

I found it
The light at the end of all the darkness
It came to me, filled me with hope
And the willingness to go on
It came
Realizing it was there
Was like the reassuring sound of a baby’s first cry
Telling me that everything was okay
It reminded me
Why I fight to make it through everyday








Soul Song

It astounds me
How one song can trigger so many memories
So many emotions
Music has a way of revealing who we really are
How we really feel
It seems to tap into the deepest parts of our souls
Where happiness and love hide





Scars

All over me
Scars
Each holding a painful memory
A different story
Do you see the meaning behind them?
Or do you just see tattered skin?
Realize there is more to me then that
I am a person
So stop your staring
Because I’m going to stop caring













My Own He**

Where I go
There is no sun
The skies are black
The grass is dead
There are no birds chirping
I am alone
There is no one here to comfort me
Or wipe away my burning tears
No one to laugh away the pain with
I am forever surrounded by the shells of people I once loved
Their frozen faces mocking me
Daring me to tumble over the edge of sanity







One Single Tear

One single tear rolls down her cheek
As she says goodbye to it all
One single tear is all she needs
To make it through that day’s battle
As one single tear threatens to spill
She finds herself hiding in shame
She doesn’t want others to know she is weak
She’s so upset she can barley speak
One single tear is all she can allow
To keep her happy face on
Nobody knows that deep inside
She wants try cry
To throw herself to the ground
And never say goodbye
One single tear could mean the end
But on her that all depends
One single tear as she walks away
Even though she wants to stay forever in their arms
One single tear…


untitled
why do i care
when you all stare
to be honest, i dont know
i want to run
i want to hide
sometimes,i want to give up and cry
i just want it to end
to never be seen again
than it would just be me
free to be who ive always wanted to be
without the judgement of one single person
but then,the lonliness
the bitter hoplesssness
i need to go
to be whole again
end all of this suffering
i no longer know the real me
the girl that i used to be
she is just a distant memory

untitled
ease my pain
end my suffering
all i want is to feel whole again
day by day
little peices chipped away
now i know the pain is here to stay
it feels like drowning
to be surrounded
by all my hopes and fears
my face is burning
from the spilling
of my acid tears

[Daf]

ec345, Your poetry is astoundingly vivid. It is very descriptive and shows so much pain.

Is your writing theraputic for you? Tell us a little background--how you came to write these words.

I think it is very good and thought provoking.

Daf

[eazilyconfused345]

daf,
for me it is very theraputic. i started writing it last year before my brain surgery. that was a very tough time for me first of all, because it was my 11 and most drastic surgery, and second of all i had to leave school for three months. to leave caused me a great deal of emotional pain. alot of it was because i had to say goodbye to a teacher whom i am very close to. so some of my poetry is about that experience. in my eyes, that time when i didnt see my teacher felt like a loss. thank you for commenting my poetry! i hope you liked it.

[Melba]

Your poems are quite explicit. Your pain is very deep. You are fortunate to be able to vent your fears and pain with words. You express them quite well. You are not alone. My burden is Parkinsons. There are many who feel you're pain and understand your sorrow. Here is a poem I wrote a few months ago. You're not out there alone. Keep up the good fight.

I FEEL THE SAME WAY

What do you see when you look at me?
A helpless, mindless decrepit being.
A worthless person broken and lost,
inside my shell imprisoned and numb.

Do you see me less able because I shake?
Unable to think or speak for myself?
Sadly enough I feel the same.
I look at the world as it's always been.

I still want to dance, converse and play,
like I did before I became encaged
in this damaged receptacle-occupying space,
I want you to see me like I'm full of grace.

I see you the same as you pass my way,
but you hustle hurriedly, no time to stay.
Have my tremors and slothful walk made you look away?
Or is my slow movement inconvenient for you?
Has the softness of my words become a nuisance too?
Wow, that's funny, I feel the same way.

Melba

[Deborah Lee]

Hi. I like your poetry. I clearly see your pain. It's a blessing to be able to write about it. Kind of let go of it, even for a just awhile. That's why everyone is here. To listen and to be listened to. Take care.

[justrosey]

from one poet to another hello

[potatobug]

Your poetry is very moving and so full of feeling.Brought tears to my eyes-

Patty

[Cry Tears]

Easily confused....your poetry is so full of pain and sorrow.
I can understand how you may feel. I am so sorry you are suffering so.
Gosh....I sure wish I could take your pain away...only the Lord can.
I will keep you in my prayers...that your pain will one day turn to joy!
I've been there...done that with my pain and sorrow, so I understand completly where you are coming from.
One day...this will be made right for all of us!
Blessings, Cheryl
PS....here's a huge hug! {{{{{@}}}}}