Fayelle
04-12-2007, 02:45 PM
Yesterday was bad bad bad!!!!!
My IBS symptoms have been acting up......I ended up with some strange blood in my bowel movement and I panicked a little.....It was dark and looked like old blood, plus it had mucus as usual.....So I called my doc to ask what to do and she didn't have any slots open, and it will take a few weeks to get a referral to a GI doc no shock there......
So she suggested if I were concerned to go to the ER, hubby pushed the issue and off I went foolish me......
Well I of course have a plethora of conditions along with my fibro....Diabetes, hypothyroidism, asthma, allergies, IBS, sleep problems, neuro issues, and newly mild hypertension, as well as a new cluster headache issue.....I take many meds.....In my regiment I also have a mild narcotic (tylenol3) and a muscle relaxer (flexeril) as well as a sleep aid (5 mg ambien) and 150 mg effexor for depression that goes along with this fun stuff......
So being a good patient I did not take any meds, and I did not eat anything right before hitting the ER because I am worried about the blood.....I have to admit right now I am a bit paranoid I just watched my dad die from lymphoma after getting it at 39 he died in my house so he could die in a home, and my grandfather in law died 2 months ago from complications related to his diabetes one of them being he had kidney failure many years ago and the dialysis stopped helping much.....So at 33 with diabetes I was afraid with low back pain, abdominal pain, and rectal bleeding (dark blood not bright red) that it might be something to be concerned about......I took all of my meds with me to the ER.....
The first problem is that I was afraid, the second problem the ER was full and I became low on the list because I was not in serious condition which I understand.....After 4 hours I was extremely uncomfortable and had developed a really bad headache (did I mention the new cluster headache problem?) So finally after 4 hours and 30 minutes they get me into a room....The doc comes in and I am in a bad way, trying to do anything to dampen the increased back pain, and not worry terribly about the other things I am concerned about.....
So the doc wants to know my conditions, I name them off and of course the fibro comes out......I explain that the pain is quite bad and that I am used to pain with a chronic condition and all......He leaves and no one comes back in for another hour......The nurse comes in and puts in an IV start for pain meds she then gives me phenergin and morphine....Well with low blood sugar of course the morphine does nothing for the headache I have but dampens the back pain......So I am on morphine and have a nasty headache......I am sent for a CT to see about kidney stones (of course there are none) and the CT tech asks me after the scan if I have diabetes (which yes I do) and if I have had cancer which I have not.....But of course that sets off my already fear laced mind and I am upset all over again......Soon the doc comes in and tells me there is nothing wrong with me as usual and tells me that while he believes me that I am in pain that I need to seek a pain management specialist and that I need to rethink my medications because he doesn't know what to give me narcotics wise because I am already so medicated......He doesn't want me to continue towards addiction......
So he is going to gift me with 12 vicodin and suggest I seek pain management help.....I told the nurse I don't like vicodin because it makes me feel strange, I am not actually allergic but I don't like how it makes me feel.....
Now keep in mind that I am a HUGE advocate of med monitoring and management, I have been on tylenol3 for 4 years and only go through about 60 pills in 4 months thats .5 of a tylenol3 a day.....
He also goes on to tell me I am wrong about my own pain, that because I have chronic pain I am in less pain but feel it more.....Interesting.....I am the person who insisted I went through natural childbirth with my second child, who I felt minimal pain and pressure with until they broke my water, and wanted to go natural with my 3rd (he was a preemie they were trying to stop labor ended up on an epidural)....I was able to breathe through my contractions and stay alert, aware and in good humor during my daughters birth, and do it all by myself because we had no babysitter, 13 hours of labor.....I think this doc misunderstood me, because in all honesty I am in pain somewhere every moment of every day and do not take anything unless it is so bad it is effecting my ability to concentrate on anything else......
He also went on to mention that doctors do not know what they are doing and addict patients to narcotics, that I am well on my way there.....That it even happens to smart people, even some of the doctors at that very hospital he says......
In review I did not fill his 12 vicodin script, I had 3/4 of a bottle of t3's in my bag of meds plus a few in my emergency pill box in my purse. Why would I need to fill the vicodin? There was no real concern about the blood in my bowel movement. I am an addict because I take 60 t3's in 4 months and my effexor should be helping to control my pain...He could not in good conscience give me anything more for pain because my regiment was already out of control....I need a good pain management doc because my doctor is obviously doing such a poor job of taking care of the issue.
I waited 4 hours in pain at the ER BUT I did not take a single pill in the 8 hours I was there because I am such an addict.....He pressed on my back but I reported no additional pain, but I am an addict (seems to me if I were seeking I would have screamed in terror and horror at his touch so he would medicate me).....Lets not even discuss the waiting in the ER for so many hours causing a minor problem with my fibro in terms of stiffness and discomfort......The chairs there are so good for my fibro, orthopedic as can be.....
At the end I took his prescription and went home, I thought about it and cried, cried again, and then again....Then I wrote a letter, sealed it in an envelope stapled the vicodin script to it and took it to the ER leaving the message that he is lucky I did not decide to go to the hospital board.....
Not only do I follow my doctors orders, I under follow her orders when it comes to my pain meds.....I watched drug abuse, and I watched people die from it, not only physically but spiritually throughout my entire childhood....It upsets me so much that one man could do so much emotional damage to me in so little time....I am so upset not only at my treatment, but at my experience overall....
I do have facial piercings one in my lip and one in my nose, I also have 2 tattoo's on the back of my neck......my mother thinks I was profiled as well as mistreated......I am so angry, sad, humiliated, and outraged.....
I am planning on telling my doc that this er doc seems to think she is doing less than an adequate job on my care because that is what he said....Plus it is my opinion that he undertreated me because he assumed I was a drug seeker.....And finally mistreated me because he had a preconcieved notion about my intentions......
Sheesh I even get into arguments here with people over pain meds.....I am at odds with the idea that there is a difference between addiction and dependance and I work constantly to make sure I can speak about it by combatting the possibility of addiction in my own situation.....I work hard to retain my right to treat my own pain because if I abuse it I should lose that ability......So to be treated that way was an affront to my very soul......I cannot imagine how people who do have a more intense regiment than I do are treated......It is absolute crap.....
Also I have had bronchitis twice in two months, I have had blood in my sputum that has actually come up.....I thought perhaps the old blood might have come from swallowing this sputum over the last 20 days or so....
And then there is the issue of should I not be worried with my med regiment of 13 pills a day or so that my liver might be compromised, or my kidneys, or that I might even have a bleeding ulcer from medications being hard on my stomach......I guess the only true concern is my obvious addiction.....Whats even worse is now I am sure it is in some permanant file somewhere at the hospital so next time I seek hospital care I can be properly profiled and mistreated......
Ok I am done ranting......
Fay
My IBS symptoms have been acting up......I ended up with some strange blood in my bowel movement and I panicked a little.....It was dark and looked like old blood, plus it had mucus as usual.....So I called my doc to ask what to do and she didn't have any slots open, and it will take a few weeks to get a referral to a GI doc no shock there......
So she suggested if I were concerned to go to the ER, hubby pushed the issue and off I went foolish me......
Well I of course have a plethora of conditions along with my fibro....Diabetes, hypothyroidism, asthma, allergies, IBS, sleep problems, neuro issues, and newly mild hypertension, as well as a new cluster headache issue.....I take many meds.....In my regiment I also have a mild narcotic (tylenol3) and a muscle relaxer (flexeril) as well as a sleep aid (5 mg ambien) and 150 mg effexor for depression that goes along with this fun stuff......
So being a good patient I did not take any meds, and I did not eat anything right before hitting the ER because I am worried about the blood.....I have to admit right now I am a bit paranoid I just watched my dad die from lymphoma after getting it at 39 he died in my house so he could die in a home, and my grandfather in law died 2 months ago from complications related to his diabetes one of them being he had kidney failure many years ago and the dialysis stopped helping much.....So at 33 with diabetes I was afraid with low back pain, abdominal pain, and rectal bleeding (dark blood not bright red) that it might be something to be concerned about......I took all of my meds with me to the ER.....
The first problem is that I was afraid, the second problem the ER was full and I became low on the list because I was not in serious condition which I understand.....After 4 hours I was extremely uncomfortable and had developed a really bad headache (did I mention the new cluster headache problem?) So finally after 4 hours and 30 minutes they get me into a room....The doc comes in and I am in a bad way, trying to do anything to dampen the increased back pain, and not worry terribly about the other things I am concerned about.....
So the doc wants to know my conditions, I name them off and of course the fibro comes out......I explain that the pain is quite bad and that I am used to pain with a chronic condition and all......He leaves and no one comes back in for another hour......The nurse comes in and puts in an IV start for pain meds she then gives me phenergin and morphine....Well with low blood sugar of course the morphine does nothing for the headache I have but dampens the back pain......So I am on morphine and have a nasty headache......I am sent for a CT to see about kidney stones (of course there are none) and the CT tech asks me after the scan if I have diabetes (which yes I do) and if I have had cancer which I have not.....But of course that sets off my already fear laced mind and I am upset all over again......Soon the doc comes in and tells me there is nothing wrong with me as usual and tells me that while he believes me that I am in pain that I need to seek a pain management specialist and that I need to rethink my medications because he doesn't know what to give me narcotics wise because I am already so medicated......He doesn't want me to continue towards addiction......
So he is going to gift me with 12 vicodin and suggest I seek pain management help.....I told the nurse I don't like vicodin because it makes me feel strange, I am not actually allergic but I don't like how it makes me feel.....
Now keep in mind that I am a HUGE advocate of med monitoring and management, I have been on tylenol3 for 4 years and only go through about 60 pills in 4 months thats .5 of a tylenol3 a day.....
He also goes on to tell me I am wrong about my own pain, that because I have chronic pain I am in less pain but feel it more.....Interesting.....I am the person who insisted I went through natural childbirth with my second child, who I felt minimal pain and pressure with until they broke my water, and wanted to go natural with my 3rd (he was a preemie they were trying to stop labor ended up on an epidural)....I was able to breathe through my contractions and stay alert, aware and in good humor during my daughters birth, and do it all by myself because we had no babysitter, 13 hours of labor.....I think this doc misunderstood me, because in all honesty I am in pain somewhere every moment of every day and do not take anything unless it is so bad it is effecting my ability to concentrate on anything else......
He also went on to mention that doctors do not know what they are doing and addict patients to narcotics, that I am well on my way there.....That it even happens to smart people, even some of the doctors at that very hospital he says......
In review I did not fill his 12 vicodin script, I had 3/4 of a bottle of t3's in my bag of meds plus a few in my emergency pill box in my purse. Why would I need to fill the vicodin? There was no real concern about the blood in my bowel movement. I am an addict because I take 60 t3's in 4 months and my effexor should be helping to control my pain...He could not in good conscience give me anything more for pain because my regiment was already out of control....I need a good pain management doc because my doctor is obviously doing such a poor job of taking care of the issue.
I waited 4 hours in pain at the ER BUT I did not take a single pill in the 8 hours I was there because I am such an addict.....He pressed on my back but I reported no additional pain, but I am an addict (seems to me if I were seeking I would have screamed in terror and horror at his touch so he would medicate me).....Lets not even discuss the waiting in the ER for so many hours causing a minor problem with my fibro in terms of stiffness and discomfort......The chairs there are so good for my fibro, orthopedic as can be.....
At the end I took his prescription and went home, I thought about it and cried, cried again, and then again....Then I wrote a letter, sealed it in an envelope stapled the vicodin script to it and took it to the ER leaving the message that he is lucky I did not decide to go to the hospital board.....
Not only do I follow my doctors orders, I under follow her orders when it comes to my pain meds.....I watched drug abuse, and I watched people die from it, not only physically but spiritually throughout my entire childhood....It upsets me so much that one man could do so much emotional damage to me in so little time....I am so upset not only at my treatment, but at my experience overall....
I do have facial piercings one in my lip and one in my nose, I also have 2 tattoo's on the back of my neck......my mother thinks I was profiled as well as mistreated......I am so angry, sad, humiliated, and outraged.....
I am planning on telling my doc that this er doc seems to think she is doing less than an adequate job on my care because that is what he said....Plus it is my opinion that he undertreated me because he assumed I was a drug seeker.....And finally mistreated me because he had a preconcieved notion about my intentions......
Sheesh I even get into arguments here with people over pain meds.....I am at odds with the idea that there is a difference between addiction and dependance and I work constantly to make sure I can speak about it by combatting the possibility of addiction in my own situation.....I work hard to retain my right to treat my own pain because if I abuse it I should lose that ability......So to be treated that way was an affront to my very soul......I cannot imagine how people who do have a more intense regiment than I do are treated......It is absolute crap.....
Also I have had bronchitis twice in two months, I have had blood in my sputum that has actually come up.....I thought perhaps the old blood might have come from swallowing this sputum over the last 20 days or so....
And then there is the issue of should I not be worried with my med regiment of 13 pills a day or so that my liver might be compromised, or my kidneys, or that I might even have a bleeding ulcer from medications being hard on my stomach......I guess the only true concern is my obvious addiction.....Whats even worse is now I am sure it is in some permanant file somewhere at the hospital so next time I seek hospital care I can be properly profiled and mistreated......
Ok I am done ranting......
Fay