Ball of nerves here

[Pamster]

I am shaking I am so nervous...I am having a sleep study done tonight but I am so worried about Jackie I can hardly sit still. I don think he's going to sleep tonight and I am worried about it I can hardly stop quivering. I am so afraid he's not going to slepe and that I won't be able to sleep at the hospital. I am so afraid, I need a hug badly...

[Pamster]

I feel like crying the anxiety is that bad...I don't know if I can make myself do this, I know I shouldn't be like this but I haven't been apart from Jackie before except for one night and I don't know that I can do this...I am really flipping out. It's raining and I am worried about it all, I have to leave by 8:20 to get there in time and I am just so nervous it's not even funny. I took half of a lorazepam I am just THAT nervous. :(

[Bdix30]

I would suggest analizing the situation. Even if Jackie doesn't sleep; he is with a caretaker that is familiar with him and can handle it for a 12 hour stretch.

If you get the study done, it will help both you and your son as you will be able to get a better nights sleep and feel better during the day.

Remember that the one previous night you were away from your son, you returned the next day and you both are still here. Same will happen tonight. You will be gone for a few hours, wake up, and come home to your son who will be there waiting.

Also, you aren't going to jail. If you wake up at 3 and are worried, you can pick up the phone and call home - or if worst comes to worst you could always go home.

It will be fine!
((hugs))
Bobi

[Pamster]

*deep breath* You're right, I need to get this done and I shouldn't be worried, his dady' is going to be with him and if he doesn't sleep then I will just keep him home tomorrow. I already called the school to let them know I might not send him in if he doesn't sleep.

I just feel so scared about being away from home and sleeping in front of strangers. My mom has had one of these done recently and it motivated me to get mine done yet I am still anxious about it all.

Thank you for the hug Bobi, it makes me feel a lot better reading your thoughtful post thanks again for making me feel better! :D

[houghchrst]

Here is a big hug for you also. I know you can do this and you know deep in your heart that everything will be fine. What you are doing will be for the benefit of everyone in the family. remember, deep breath, in and out, smile.
Things will go fine.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUG}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

[Pamster]

Thank you Christina! I really needed to hear it, I know it's going to be fine, Jack is telling me the same thing and I think it will work out. I was just having an anxiety attack and close to tears about leaving Jackie. It WILL be fine. :)

[houghchrst]

BTW change that chicken avatar into something a little braver!

[Pamster]

Went with my damsel in distress because I am in need of doctoring...LOL!! I hope that I do ok, I just got off the phone with mom and I feel a lot better so wish me luck! :D

[houghchrst]

Lots of luck and I'll be praying for you. Yes this avatar is much better. Glad you feel a little better.

[bizi]

Hang in there Pamster,
so sorry that you were so anxious this afternoon,
glad that you took a med to help calm you down and that the support here offered hugs and more hugs for you.
I hope that your sleep study proves to answer some questions and helps you in the short/long run.
Post when you feel up to it.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi
I wish you wellness!

[Pamster]

Thank you all so much, I was feeling so weak and fragile yesterday afternoon as the time drew closer. I am glad I had some lorazepam to take to make the panic go away. I definitely have apnea, they woke me up and put a mask on me and I tried to sleep but it was definitely a different kind of feeling, sleeping with a cpap machine on, though it wasn't loud at all. I had so much trouble falling asleep to begin with I like lay there for 45 minutes and NOTHING happened! :eek:

Then I laid on my back and fell asleep in a few minutes and he woke me up to tell me to try the mask on. I feel pretty good now that I am home and sitting here alone. Everyone else is still sleeping but I know I won't be able to fall asleep, it might be possible to nap later, but not until the lil man goes to school, Jack said they did fine, so all is good. :)

All in all it was a good experience and I think it will lead to answers about the severity of my apnea. And that's a good thing. Thanks again everyone for the support! :D

[Salsa]

I am so afraid he's not going to slepe and that I won't be able to sleep at the hospital. I am so afraid, I need a hug badly...
Glad the sleeping went well for both of you. Good luck with the machine treating the apnea. Hope you are able to take care of it. The last thing you need is something else to worry about.

[houghchrst]

Pamster, glad to see you home and feeling better about things. We knew and you knew all would go well. Hope you enjoyed your little bit of peace and quiet. I am off to physical therapy this morning, ugh! Then the ortho doc double ugh! Then probably home with some ice. AHHh.

[Pamster]

That is so true Sandy, I definitely don't need something else to worry about. ;) I can't wait to get the machine, I think it will take a little while, I go in next Tuesday, and will get the results of the testing then. :)

Jackie did sleep thankfully and I am going to lay down for a nap in a minute. I am glad it's over with. ;)