Exhausted and Achey

[allih]

I drove three hours up and back to see my mother for the holiday weekend and I am paying for it. I am so exhausted and achey that part of me wonders if it is even worth doing things like this when I have to try to work the next day. I don't see her much and I don't want to stop doing what I used to do, but I'm not sure how to pace myself yet. All I want to do is lay in bed and sleep, but life demands that I work and carry on.

I know I'm whining but you are probably the only people who know what I'm talking about. How do you handle this?

Alli

[Tootsie]

Hi Alli,
We have all struggled with decisions about how to manage certain aspects of life that become more complicated with fibromyalgia. I'm not sure I have any definite answer for you.

Whenever, I travel, I make sure that I am well rested, before I go, to deal with any travel upsets, like delayed or cancelled flights, etc. That helps. Also, if you can eliminate the pressure of time, by taking vacation days, that, too is useful. Sometimes, employers will have a policy of having to take your vacation all at once. I was lucky, and took one day of vacation almost every week, the last year or so that I worked...I did make it to 65 and full social security benefits!

Can you take someone with you to help with the driving? Is it possible to buy your mom a ticket so that you don't have to do the traveling? Can you meet her half way? Stay in a motel for the weekend with each of you paying half?

So much depends on your situation and how your mom views your fibro. Cheerio.

[Fayelle]

It does not sound whiney to me.....

To me it sounds like the grief process you will have to go through while on the way to acceptance of your illness and the limitations it puts on you.....

As I have gotten older and my body has adopted new diseases my fibro has gotten worse and I have been through more changes on my own limitations.....The last 3 years brought on major bouts of frustration with myself for not being able to be who I was even 4 years ago......Suddenly here I am not able to do everything around the house and now it either doesn't get done or I release the control to those around me......My husband is also mourning the loss of who I used to be because my "job" has become a burden for everyone......He just barely is realizing that he has been resenting my inability to do all of the things he took for granted for so long......

I think for all of us this thing is a constant learning process.....Life changes frequently therefore we are always in the process of evolving......

I have no real advice for traveling except to say you must remember your own limitations and either change the plans, or be ready to accept the consequences from the process......I still get blindsided from not remembering that if I do A, B will come as a consequence......I try to keep my life to a minimum of stress.....The fortunate thing is that our extended family lives so far away, this means that we miss out on so many things but for my illness in many ways that is a blessing......

We all here feel your pain though certainly as each of us has been there more times than you can imagine.......It is no fun being incapable of doing what seems simple to others without the price tag we are burdened with at the end of it......

Just remember that it will pass, its the one fortunate thing about this illness....Even though the symptoms really suck we know that soon the symptoms will pass and we can get back to trying to manage the problems......It wont kill me is my mantra.....

Fay