Feeling down......can I have a couple hugs?

[satchelle]

Hello friends,
Many of you don't know my names for I am mostly a lurker, but those of you who do know me I try to add some comic relief when the boards get into their hostile modes.

I'm not sure where to start, it seems like my week has gone from bad to worse.

Last Tues I had another flare up of the chronic pancreatitis which ended me up in the ER. I got a couple of bags of fluid, nausea and pain meds and a cat scan. I also had a temp and increases white blood cells count. They wanted to keep me but I refused knowing that my hosp. deduct was $500 for an admission and only $100 for and ER visit. Needless to say I went home and of course 24 hours later ended back in the ER, this time they kept me for 8 days. I just got out on Fri.

The day before I was released my boss called. I thought maybe she was checking to see how I was doing since NO ONE and I mean NO ONE had called from my office. Well her conversation started out nice until the part where I got FIRED! I was heartbroken...... Now get this....she said...I really hate to do hid because you were our very very best research coordinator but because you have no more paid time off let and your FMLA leave is all out there is really no other option. But it gets even better, she said she would put me down as being eligible for re-hire should my health get better and there is a position to which I am qualified for. I have so many feelings running around in me right now I don't know what else to do except cry.

My husband told me to apply for worker's unemployment but I am even clueless how to do that. And to top it all of, our whole families insurance is thru my work so now we have no insurance. I can get COBRA for myself and maybe since my husband is a small business owner he can do something like that for himself and our kids.

YUP theres more to make this go worse. I recently found out my insurance will no longer cover my Actiq which is really the wonder drug for me. Because I throw up multiple times a day, this is absorbed thru the skin so I don't throw it up. I am going thur the appeal process which can take as long as severl weeks. My docs are trying to do a one-to-one converance with them which so far is not working yet.

On top of the, the docs at the hospital are saying its probably time I start thinking about disability but I just feel I'm not really to committ too that yet when I have so much more to committ to my present line of work. God do I wish I could do my type of work at home....its bascially all computer work anyway.


My one bright spot is that I have my loving family who will do anything and I also have all of you guys and girls here who are great supporters and have given me so many wonderful ideas.

Once more qusetion and I promise I will stop:

My docs want me to think about the implantable pain pump. I woild love to hear about your stories to anyone of you that my have them. I want to know the GOOD, the BAD, the UGLY, the details....please anything you can tell me.

Thankk you so much in advance for any information, support, encourage,......
ANYTHING!


Have a safe and pain free weekend,

Satch

[slipnslide]

Hello friends,

The day before I was released my boss called. I thought maybe she was checking to see how I was doing since NO ONE and I mean NO ONE had called from my office. Well her conversation started out nice until the part where I got FIRED! I was heartbroken...... Now get this....she said...I really hate to do hid because you were our very very best research coordinator but because you have no more paid time off let and your FMLA leave is all out there is really no other option. But it gets even better, she said she would put me down as being eligible for re-hire should my health get better and there is a position to which I am qualified for.

I am so sorry about what you've been dealing with. I know how you feel. I had heard the exact same words from my boss.

I'll say a little prayer that things work out for you & your family and that you feel better soon.

[Pamster]

(((((Satch))))))

That is horrible! I would be so upset in your shoes Satch, I am disabled and on disability for many years now because I just cannot work. I really feel for you, I would file for disability and try to get it started, I know you want to work but it sounds like you need to get well first and it's not going to be an easy road from the sound of it.

I wish you well, I haven't ever had a pain pump implanted, had one in the hospital, one that gave me like 4-6mgs of morphine when I pressed a button-it was hooked up to an IV. I can't imagine one of those being a good thing though. I would be interested in hearing about other people's experiences with them however. :)

I hope you start having better luck soon and that you get well soon Satch. :)

[BrokenBladder]

((((Satch)))) I'm so sorry!!! I know how tough that must've been to have gotten one call from someone at your job and that turned out to be the one that fired you!! How awful!!
As far as unemployment goes, I agree, file for it. It's very easy just "google" whatever state you live in + unemplyment. You can file for it right on line. Be prepared to produce records of your hospital stays so that the unemployment office can see that you haven't just been skipping out on work.
Now onto the disability issue. If you're unable to hold down a job, due to your illness, then you need to file. It's not fair to you or your family. The longer you wait the longer you will go without.
The pain pump issue. I've never had one, but I've heard people who loved them and people who hated them. You might want to start a new thread with "pain pump" in the heading. That would bring out the people to you specifically about that.
Try to take it easy tonight, but you need to file for that unemployment tomorrow.
Take Care,

[satchelle]

thanks everone for your replies. The way my doc talked was that the probably would not even consider the disabiltiy unless I had at least tredi the pain pump or at least the trail I would agree to try the trial but so far I'm having difficulty getting info. Don't get me wrong, I'm getting plenty of info from the docs, the brocheres, the DVD explaining etc. What I want are the true life stories. People who have had them change their lives and also the others where it was just a nightmare. Looks like I will start another thread. Thanks Satch

[suede]

(((((satchelle)))))

[Mark N]

satchelle, what a lousy phone call:mad: . Sorry that took such a bad approach to let you know what was going on with your job. Like you I was reluctant to file for my disability but it wouldn't have been fair to my family to put it off even for one day. If you were able to work you would still have your old job and not be in this bind. Good luck, disability can take years to work out.

[ErinENj]

Satchelle: You most definately can have a huge hug!! <<<HUG>>> That's really screwed up!! I hate it when these companies pull these underhanded type moves and fire people for what's in my opinion, no good reason. I do wonder if, because they fired you for your poor health, you have any sort of recourse legally to at the least, keep you and your family's health insurance going for at least a little while so you can look at your options. But I could be very wrong, simply because I know pretty much nothing about that kind of stuff. I was fired once for having back surgery, and I know I had some recourse under the law, but couldn't pursue it as much as I wanted to because my mom also works for the county government (where I had worked, just in a different department). I was told I had to have immediate back surgery just after I was hired, and they understood and kept me on and were willing to kinda work with me until I was well enough to come back. But three months later when the pain just got worse instead of better and my quack surgeon told me that I needed surgery again ASAP, when I told my boss the news that I had to have surgery two days later, she said, and I remember it word for word: "If you don't come in tomorrow, don't bother coming back. I need an assistant. If you can't do that just because your back hurts, then I have no use for you." I was furious! Luckily, it was the end of the day, so I just packed up all my things, said goodbye to her and told her I hope she finds the assistant she deserves. I think she had a problem with me because I basically did all of her work so she could spend hours at lunch or running errands. But I didn't have to worry about getting my health insurance through the company, and it was just upsetting. I wasn't as dependent on the job as you were because it meant a lot to your ability to help your family.

I'm sorry that the people you worked for and with treated you with such disrespect. It mgiht be possible that the other people from your office didn't want to call you to see how you were doing simply because they knew what was coming (you know how everyone in the office seems to know everything that's going on) and couldn't figure out how to talk to you without feeling guilty or couldn't figure out how to break the news to you. I could be wrong and giving people too much credit, but it's a thought.

No matter what, I'm so sorry you got so much stuff thrown on you when you're already feeling so horrible! You definately deserve a million hugs! I hope that things get better in any way possible! Here's another hug for good measure! <<<<HUG>>>> :D

[A.K.]

Satchelle,
I too want to tell you how very sorry I am that you were treated so very poorly and that so many "seemingly" bad things have happened in a row.

Now don't shoot me for the "seemingly" because I want you to see all the great things that have happened in that same time frame and the possibility of even more. If there is one thing that this past three years of being unemployed and in constant pain has taught me is....things DO happen for a reason and MOST of the time I will get to see how it has worked out for my good.

First of all you were a very sick woman. No hospital keeps you for eight days in this world of the insurance screaming "kick em out soon as you can" in their ear all day long unless you are very, very ill. You have a lot to be thankful for that you came through that tough spell and are back home with your family, not everyone makes it back out those doors.

Speaking of family, re-read what you said about yours. That statement alone is enough to get you through...."a loving family who will do anything". Ask for a count of the people on this board that would give their good arm, left or right whichever one doesn't hurt all the time to say that.

As far as that job goes, I understand you need to be employed and you must really love your job or your boss would not have complemented you and said that you were their very very best research coordinator. But you know what Satch, they didn't deserve you anyway. You are too good for them. They don't respect you enough as a person to have you working for them and you deserve to be somewhere that you not only get phone calls, but flowers and visits.

You said, "God do I wish I could do my type of work at home....its bascially all computer work anyway." Well then ask Him for it. God I mean. Then get yourself signed up for unemployment and if you aren't sure how to do it get back on here and someone here will help walk you through it. At some point you will have to speak to someone at the unemployment office or fill in information online about what you do, have done and want to do.....tell them you want and need to do computer work at home now. Ask them to help you find a job like that. Job placement is part of what the Unemployment office does.

Does your company have any competition in town that you could call and ask for a research coordinator postion at home. If they know you already know your industry you might even get a raise, who knows?

And about that medicine that is the wonder drug for you, well maybe, just maybe you will find out that something new has come out that makes Actiq look like you were taking a placebo you will feel so much better.

Now if the working at home gets to be too much it will be time to allow yourself to file for disability. The process is slow. I filed in June 2004, have been denied twice and appealed twice and am waiting to go before a judge in August of 2008. The good news is I am not starving, my husband has a job and we are managing and when I finally do get approved we will have a nice backpay check coming. :D

Only you can say when it is time to stop work, I think in someways I got off easy on that one because when I came off the operating table the decision was made for me, the pain was more than I could bear much less even think of working with. You have the hard part of thinking it through. Allow that loving family to help you but remember you and only you know how you really feel. Be good to yourself, you deserve it.

Sleep well, A.K.

[curiousforever]

Hugs....I'm sorry you're having all these problems.

Only thing I can really suggest is to call an insurance agent to see about health insurance for your family. Due to yours - they might not cover pre-existing on a new policy - but it never hurts to check.

One family I know was going to pay an outrageous amount thru her hubby's work - and found a policy thru an agency for less than 1/3 of what the other quote was....

[simby]

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((satchelle)))))))) )))))))))))))))))))))))))))

i just saw this so am sending tons o hugs from up here in maine.
Hope you are feeling better now.

hugs,
sims

[satchelle]

thnaks for all the hugs and good wishes you have all sent my way


Satch

[ErinENj]

Satchelle,

How are you doing? Holding up okay-ish? How are you feeling? I hope that these added stressors haven't made you feel too much worse and that this new week is treating you better than last! Keep in touch and let us know how you're doing!

<<hug>> and a <<smile>> for good measure! :D

[satchelle]

hi and thanks for the little pep talk reminder. Well today I am pretty much feeling like a dumb a**. Yesterday I got on line to fill out the unemplyment stuff and it said it could only process so much on line and that I would have to call an 800 number to finish the rest. So, I call this number and just my luck....I get this person with such a strong accent that I could hardly understand what they said and I had to ask them to please repeat everything. Because I live in southern Texas I am very used to hispanic accents and have no problem what so ever with that. But this guy sounded like he was from India or the middle east (pakistan?) I just don't know but I was so totally confused.

So today my wonderful husband drove me to the office and I told the lady there my problems with the guy on the phone, turns out I actually got quite a bit accomplished with that guy with regards to setting up PIN numbers and identification numbers etc. but I still feel like such a fool. I mean here I am almost 45 years old, I have a 4 yr college degree in science with a minor in speech communications, I'm a registered nurse.

I told this nice women, this is the first time I have ever filed for unemployment. I have been a nurse since 1986 and was hired before I actually got my nsg license so I have been employed ever since. I've never been terminated, laid off etc and when I switch jobs I always have another lined up so I never had any lapses in working. I just want to cry because I feel so stupid. I can save someones life, insert an endotracheal tube and bring em back to life but I can't understand how to get a measly couple hundred bucks a month to tide me over until I decide to go the disability route or try to find a job that can accomidate all my problems GEEEEZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!

OH gosh...sorry for the vent, you didn't deserve all this but Thanks for being a friend and letting me get it off my chest.

If you ever need an ear to vent to just let me know cuz I will be here for ya.

Satch

[BrokenBladder]

Satch would a couple of dozen (((HUGS))) work for you???
I'm sure hoping your day gets better!!!!

[Lea]

(((((BIG CYBER HUGGS))))))

Oh Satch. What rotten luck sweetie. I am dealing with FMLA issues as well and unfortunately after your FMLA is up, it's up. That happened to me on my last job before I was forced to take disability for 2 years. I lost everything material, even my house, but you know what? I too have a wonderful family and they and my health were more important. I was devastated at the time, but things always seemed to work out. The bills were somehow paid, we never went hungry, and God has a way of working things out.

Does your company have a long term disability benefit? I would certainly look into it.

Hang in there sweetie and know that there are people here who care about you.

[Diandra]

Hi Satch,
First, I am so sorry for what you have been through health wise and then, geez!, the gross insensitivity of your employer.

I am not sure but, I don't think it is legal to fire someone for being sick. I don't care how much sick time you have used. I had used up my sick time at work but, the company had a disability policy and I went onto that.

My advice, pay a couple hundreds bucks and spend an hour talking to a lawyer who specializes in employment law. It will be money well spent and you will know exactly where you stand. If nothing else, the lawyer can help you through the maze of applying for disability. A few years ago my disability company dumped me with no warning at all. My doctor gave me the advice I just gave you and I got it re-instated with much less effort than I could ever have imagined.

I know your life is pretty lousy right about now but, we are all here for you.
All my best,
Diandra