Now That We All Have CP, How Much Has Our Personality Changed?

[BrokenBladder]

I'll start off with me. I never really had a bad personality day because I was always happy and full of energy. Grumpy was just not in my list of words. Now however I find it hard to get much done other than going to the doctor, going to the pharmacy, and coming home and collapsing. My laundry needs desperate attention, my house needs someone to pay attention to it and I need some more energy.
So life after CP has made me grumpy in comparision to who I use to be.
Just curious how many of you have responded to this unwelcome beast (CP) that has entered our life.

[Kathi49]

Lisa,

Okay...:)

I really don't think my personality has changed at all. Now, grumpy on occasion, yes LOL! I think that is normal though. Most certainly when woken from a nap or deep sleep. That is why I keep saying my daughter needs to get her own place. :) I am like you though, I wish I had more energy. If anything that kind of bothers me like you say; housework and all. I used to kick out the house in one day; now it takes me a week or longer. But because I am at home now and not working; I can just put it off until I feel like it. Oh, but laundry is a constant and I have to have my husband or daughter carry it downstairs for me. And, I just can't lift, pull, etc. I was wanting to rake some leaves today. Notice I say want to...but I can't. And my husband just got through saying yesterday he is going to hire some kid to do some yardwork because his back is bad. So, we both look around and kind of laugh because neither one of us can do as we used to.

Oh, and you will laugh. I have to literally "walk" with the vacuum; something the PT showed me about body mechanics. And THAT takes forever!

But back to personality. I just don't think it has changed at least I haven't been told that. It is hard for me to articulate but I think I still look at it as just being me regardless. Gosh, I don't know how to say this. I guess the inner me is still there. But grouchy sometimes, oh yeah, just ask my daughter. :eek:

[Scar Tissue]

Hi Broken, hope you are well today. I want to answer this for you but it will be short today, tired and in a lot of pain. My attitude has changed dramatically. I am no longer as trusting, I'm more cynical, I feel the American dream is no longer available, I'm madder than Hell, I feel sorry for myself because I've been cut down in my prime, I no longer trust the system for i/w, I feel like I'm disposable and nobody really cares if I live or die except my family. I never felt this way before. I also feel like less of a man, sexually and as head of my family as a provider. This is the absolute truth and not a typo: I went from $3600.00 per week to $417.00 per week. Life is absolutely miserable. I was the exact opposite before this, seems like my evil twin took over my body. I hope this gives you some idea!:(

[Mark N]

Scar, your description using an evil twin is a really good one. I have felt that way a few days here and there.

My personality has changed quite a bit. My character and beliefs haven't changed but the way I approach life has. I am much more laid back and realize that I don't control all aspects of my life. I listen better and am more understanding of others and their problems. Although I had a good relationship with my kids I find that I talk to them more than before.

Not only has it changed my personality but I have seen my wife's personality change as my reality hit her. Seeing herself as the main breadwinner she feels more pressure [there really isn't any as I make more income and we do fine] and is more irritable and is scared about what life will bring next.

[Pamster]

I lived in denial of CP for so many years when I finally came to accept it it was a really hard thing to swallow. I had taken so much ibuprofen I gave myself an ulver, I had the 800mg prescription tablets and back in the late 80's that was all I could get for pain. After I had my son my bones changed from my hips to my foot bones. Things spread out and it hurt more to walk. So I went back into my wheelchair because of CP and by then I was still living in denial because as a young mother I knew no one could take care of my baby or my hubby but me.

Things changed then I had no choice, I was unable to function without excruciating pain that nothing I was able to get a hold over the counter. A friend of mine had a PM doc and had mentioned it to me and so that begun my own journey into seeing relief from the nagging pain I suffer from daily. I found a really great PM doc and things are much easier for me because he's helping to keep the pain down to tolerable levels.

I have noticed my sense of humor is not as open to laughing as I was before. I also find myself feeling emotional over the silliest things, it's like I feel thankful for the good days and even on the bad days I am still thankful. This is a hard path for anyone to walk but we don't choose this in life, things just happen and changes are something you have to try to accept and live with as best as you can.

[Mark N]

I talked earlier about how it has changed me and how it has effected my wife but I also wanted to say that it has effected the friends I had. They were supportive but as my pain got worse and I became disabled many of them have disappeared. I understand the ones that I was friends with because we were in the same profession or had some other activity that kept us connected. It is the ones that I had a closer relationship that I want to talk about. I have been bleesed that most of those friends [true friends] have stayed by my side even as we have less in common. I have found it harder to stay in contact with them but they make an effort to include me in their emails or contact me by phone. Our friendship has become less personal and more keeping things on safe taopics so I don't have to talk about my pain all the time and they are faced with how disability can strike any of them like it has with me. I am thankful for them and my former players that still turn to me for help and advice. They have helped me from withdrawing from society and keeping me in touch with what is going on.

[curiousforever]

I'm less tolerant of the noise that comes with having 4 boys (5 including hubby when he plays with them)....less tolerant of anyone coming inside as the house is never clean enough (for me).

I'm still generally a pretty happy person when I'm home with my family.

I'm friendly with neighbors - as long as only saying hi and waving is friendly.

I have several great friends - but all live at least 1200 miles away....nobody here however. I bet I *could* if I tried. But it's hard to want to try when you've been burned. Burned by many people. Bad judge of character? Stupidity on my part? Or just I keep running into 'lower quality' people?

The people the boys are staying with - are some that I could be friends with. I know them and their children thru sports played on post - 2 of the ladies are pretty friendly - so I can try maybe.

Now quit making me think! :)

[Mark N]

CF, I think it is a process of having acquantaces that aren't real friends and sorting out our real friends. it is like mining diamonds, you have to sort through tons of material just to find one or two diamonds. They may have flaws but valuable anyway. Then you run across a rare diamond and you hang on to it because it is so valuable to you. Friendship is like honing a diamond that has to be cut and faceted. As we go through life with our friends and share tough times it polishes up our friendship or reveals a fatal flaw that breaks up the diamond [friendship]. The more we go through with each other the more valuable our friendship becomes. That is what my wife doesn't get, if there is a problem she sees it as a fatal flaw not something that will polish up our relationship. Sorry to make you think again but it is what keeps us young:D .

[Kathi49]

Mark,

I like your analogy to diamonds.

I feel that way about my best friend. She IS a diamond and has been with me through thick and thin since we were 15. Do we talk to each other every day or even every week? Nope. But only because she is busy with her life and I am busy with mine. But...we know where to find each other. :) Our friendship is very stable and secure.

I also have some "diamond" work friends. There are about 7 of us that meet when we can. I should be calling them my Angels...because they were and are. Again, if it had not been for them helping me out during that 3 year period of pure hell, I would have been lost! It is nice to catch up with them because I can stay in the loop in a sense. I like hearing about everything that is going on with them. :)

[curiousforever]

CF, I think it is a process of having acquantaces that aren't real friends and sorting out our real friends. it is like mining diamonds, you have to sort through tons of material just to find one or two diamonds. They may have flaws but valuable anyway. Then you run across a rare diamond and you hang on to it because it is so valuable to you. Friendship is like honing a diamond that has to be cut and faceted. As we go through life with our friends and share tough times it polishes up our friendship or reveals a fatal flaw that breaks up the diamond [friendship]. The more we go through with each other the more valuable our friendship becomes. That is what my wife doesn't get, if there is a problem she sees it as a fatal flaw not something that will polish up our relationship. Sorry to make you think again but it is what keeps us young:D .


I'll be "Young" forever according to my hubby. :) (the line all the guys on his side have used...)

I have 6 diamonds. Some I've known since '89, some since '96. We don't talk every week either - sometimes not every month. I know they are there for me. A few it's easier to email as they are constantly traveling and stuff.

So I guess I've not done that badly!