FOR JOY...No sense of humor.

[trekker]

My wife and I are watching "Who

Wants To Be A Millionaire" while

we are in bed. I turned to her and

said, "Do you want to have sex?"

"No." She answered.

I then said, "Is that your final answer?"

"Yes." She replied.

Then I said, " I'd like to phone a friend."


That's the last thing I remember.

[joy]

:D Many many thanks, more please. I need all the funnies I can get to keep the worries away for awhile.

[nide44]

A contestant on "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?" had reached the final plateau. If she answered the next question correctly, she would win $1,000,000. If she answered incorrectly, she would pocket only the $32,000 milestone money.

And as she suspected it would be, the million-dollar question was no pushover. It was, "Which of the following species of birds does not build its own nest, but instead lays its eggs in the nests of other birds? Is it:

A) the condor B) the buzzard C) the cuckoo D) the vulture?"

The woman was on the spot. She did not know the answer. And she was doubly on the spot because she had used up her 50/50 Lifeline and her Audience Poll Lifeline. All that remained was her Phone-a-Friend Lifeline, and the woman had hoped against hope that she would not have to use it. Mainly because the only friend that she knew would be home happened to be a blonde. But the contestant had no alternative. She called her friend and gave her the question and the four choices.

The blonde responded unhesitatingly: "That's easy. The answer is C: The cuckoo."

The contestant had to make a decision and make it fast. She considered employing a reverse strategy and giving Regis any answer except the one that her friend had given her. And considering that her friend was a blonde, that would seem to be the logical thing to do. On the other hand -- the blonde had responded with such confidence, such certitude, that the contestant could not help but be persuaded.

"I need an answer," said Regis.

Crossing her fingers, the contestant said, "C: The cuckoo."

"Is that your final answer?" asked Regis.

"Yes, that is my final answer."

Two seconds later, Regis said, "I regret to inform you that that answer is... absolutely correct. You are now a millionaire!"

Three days later, the contestant hosted a party for her family and friends -- including the blonde who had helped her win the million dollars.

"Jenny, I just do not know how to thank you," said the contestant. "Because of your knowing the answer to that final question, I am now a millionaire. And do you want to know something? It was the assuredness with which you answered the question that convinced me to go with your choice. By the way.... How did you happen to know the right! answer?"

"Oh, come on!" said the blonde. "Everybody knows that cuckoos don't build nests. They live in clocks."

[joy]

thanks Bob and everyone who posts jokes. I remember a long time ago on the old neuropathy board I was sorta distressed. I had run into a sign and had decided to stop driving. No matter that the night before was the night that I had to drink all that yucky stuff for a colon test. You know the kind....yeah. Well I only got about two hours sleep and neighbor had come over and kept me from getting my jello without any red dye in it. So early morning I go to town to buy some. What bothered me when I hit that sign was I did not feel sleepy. I had been sleepy before and knew when I need to be careful and not drive or worse, on a long trip just pull over. I should have kept my mouth shut!! I had a reason to hit the sign, no sleep. I ended up after questioning my doctor several times taking a sleep test. On the test night I only slept two hours and they came in three times to adjust lose wires. They gave me a prescription for a sleep machine. I still secretly think in our small town, if you take that test, you'll end up with a machine, lol.

Then I read a joke someone posted about wanting to go out like grandpa did - in his sleep - not like everyone else in car with him did - yelling and screaming. I found I had a funny bone and I might as well go with it and enjoy life as best as I could. I don't take any anti-seizure medications now. Happily I do not tend to nod off anymore and do drive when I feel like it. But only if I feel certain I won't nod off. I really wouldn't want to hurt anyone or worse. I sure like to hear or read jokes. Ain't it sad that I can't even find good enough ones and repost them, lol. But I'm a GREAT reader!!! Thanks be to those that do cheer up everyone.