PDA

View Full Version : Enough.......


ChrisC
03-30-2007, 07:32 PM
OK, I've read the posts, and read them over again and again, and have come to a point where I have to make some comments. These recent postings are NOT indicative of what this board is. I'm so terribly sorry - to think of what the newest and most scared members must think of what's been posted. It's embarrassing.

I'm one of the "old girls" and I'm darned proud of the fact that I've been on this board for nearly 4 years and have had the opportunity to allay fears, or give some hope or encouragement. I have some observations, so if you don't want to read the rest of this post, it's ok with me, and you can stop right here.

Alot of what's been written recently has pitted one or more members against others, has instigated people to take "sides" which is NOT what this forum is for. This isn't a playground where you pick sides on who you want to play with. We're talking about lives - and how we can all help others thru a terrifying situation. Everyone is right about being able to express their opinions. That's not what's in question here. It's the defensive attitude when someone ELSE voices their opinion that doesn't exactly match the initial posters' opinion.

The one post I find that fits this criteria is about water. Everyone knows that hydration is important, and yes, we all need reminding about drinking adequate fluids. Then it was posted to be careful about water overload. Then there were the somewhat defensive postings about being sorry for offending anyone, etc. Then we have the taking sides issue that follows. Why the defensive comments about offending anyone??????? It's an opinion and a legitimate concern! There is a very real situation of water intoxication and electrolyte imbalance that can have very serious complications on a person's body. I've taken care of several people who thought "if 1 liter of water is good, then 3 must be better" and wound up in ICU due to severe electrolyte problems and all the medical problems that ensue. I agree that not everyone would do this, but it's amazing how people can take it to the extreme very easily. All of us search for ways to feel better quickly. But to sarcastically reply to anyone who points out a danger is just not wise.

Another observation - we're all striving and struggling to regain our lives. Sometimes it's not the best of situations and most of us live with some degree of limitation or disadvantage. The important part of recovery is that you TRY. This will not be a popular statement to some - there are some people who are not trying, but use their disability as a crutch - they like being sick and use it as an excuse. 99% of us have adapted, and we can help others to adapt to those problems that we've already faced and conquered. Then there are the others who want to just keep wallowing around and have something to complain about. No amount of gentle encouragement or reminders that they're lucky to be alive works on their psyche. I get disturbed when I read posts that frquently and consistently refer to how bad the doctors were, poor treatment by the medical profession, how bad they have it, etc - in nearly every post, it gets old quickly. Yes, we can briefly explain our story and refer to problems that we might have had, but most important is to address the person who's having the problem..... not dwell on our own!! Move on - or move out.

I pray that no new member gets caught up in this so-called "struggle" for power on this board - it won't work. Dorothy, Lyn, Pam, Mimi, Snap, Kath, myself and SO many others are not out for dominance of this board as implied in another posting. But we have been here a long time - most of us 3-4 years. Members come and go, most get better and don't feel the need to visit this board anymore. Some just want to thank God that they're ok, and put this all behind them. We've chosen to stay. No one has the right to email any one of us and tell us that since we're all better, we ought to leave the board. That's happened. Sad, huh?

I love this board for it's dedication to aneurysms and aneurysms alone. As I stated before, this is not a playground. If you come here thinking that it is, you're wrong, and many people will suffer as a result. Please respect this board and what it stands for, and respect the members that are here.

HereinNY
03-30-2007, 07:43 PM
Perfectly said Chris. As one of the "oldies" I opted to stay out of the drama. This board is great and I hope I can continue to help others as so many have helped me in the last 3 years. Your voice of reason is always something I look forward to hearing here. I hope we can all move on.

JulieNH
03-30-2007, 08:51 PM
It says "Distinguished Member" over my name on this board but I can't be called one of the "oldies". My aneurysm ruptured in the end of June 06 and I joined this board when it came back up and running in October '06. I have said this before, but finding this board has been a blessing. I wished it was here in July, August and September. I was foundering. My stroke had taken a great deal away from me; parts of my personality, my intellect, my career, my organizational skills, so much that made me who I was and beat me down. Those months I fought my way back alone, without the support of this board, all of you, (oldies and newbies alike) I was angry, scared, and as I said before, lost in the desert. By October this board was back up. It was as if someone had taken my hand and walked me forward through recovery. I am 99.9% of the way back to being my old self. I realize I am one of the lucky ones. I have to find a new career because I can no longer do complex mathematics in my head, but I WILL find a new career. How do I have that strength and conviction that I CAN move on? From all of you. From the strength, courage, faith and love I have been given by all of you.

This in-fighting saddens me for many reasons, most of all it is the newbies who are missing out on all the words of wisdom offered by each and every one of the "Distinguished Members", and I really don't care which member. Everyone of you have something to share with someone else, new, old, distinguished or otherwise! So, without pointing fingers at anyone, check your egos at the door and help one another. That's what we're all here for.
JulieNH

(I will now get off my soapbox)