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JAVISI
03-30-2007, 01:36 PM
The born Nurturer
I have lost my ability to be a Nurse, the one thing I always knew I was born to be:(
I loved caring for people mind, body and soul.
To help releive the fear, andger and pain,It was not just a role.
I tried to be the best Nurse I could be, and was rewarded daily with such kind words, pats on the back, and so many thank you's but making a difference was always my goal!
Most patients don't know how much that they contributed to my life;) From the sick baby, to the elderly,
This illness has robbed me so early in my career 15 years was not enough, It cuts deep in my soul like a knife.
What can I do now? Be thankful for the time I had to Nurture and care?
I want to continue to give back to society, but I am so lost in the, all I cand do is ask why?
But that does not help me to see.
I want to be that Nurse, mom, friend, daughter and grandma "Nanny" to my sweet and beautiful, Javisi and the new precious one!
So many of these things have been taken from me, due to this illness that has taken over my body and mind,Like I have let this illness win!
I am unable to be a Nurse, the one thing I was born to be, a born nuturer, the thrived and loved her job.
It was so much a part of my identity, sometimes more than it should have been, I hate that this with this illness came so many things it could rob:( .I took pride and received so much joy in my life from my job.
I didn't only care for my patients, for they also gave to me!
That is something that most patients can not see!;)

bonnie
04-23-2007, 02:26 PM
And so here we are. I have to ask, what's next. Idiopathic pn took me out last year. I find it hard to do alot but I know that there is something else I should be doing, that it is creative and it's fun. Here's to the journey my friend.

JAVISI
04-24-2007, 08:05 PM
Bonnie,
I am so glad to hear from you! I am also sorry it took me so long to pst. I have been in the hospital for the last week. My body was rejecting my gastrostomy tube. I was in a lot of pain. I now have a nasogastic tube which I will admit is uncomfortable. I am questioning my quality of life! Do I live in pain? Or do I risk death from pneumonia. I hate not being able to eat too!

I am sorry about your illness. I know that any Nurse can relate to the loss when you lose the ability to do what was such a part of our lives!

It will nice to venture on this journey with someone else! I do not feel so alone;)